Aa
who should I contact?
My baby's father and I haven't talked in almost 2 months. He didn't reply to my last email and he blocked me on fb. He hasn't tried to contact me since then. He says he doesn't think he should be involved in our baby's life, but says that he still wants updates on her. His parents know about the baby and I've met them. They were nice to me and treated me well. His mom gave me her contact to update her on the baby. I'm due in 2 weeks. Should I even contact him after the baby is born? I'm upset with him cause he acts like he doesn't care. Or should I contact his mom instead? Or contact both of them?
Yea Canadian laws will be followed. I know that a paternity test needs to be done before I can file for child support. He asked for a paternity test. I'm sure the baby is his. We had unprotected sex on my ovulation date. He refuses to listen to me. He is so stubborn. After the baby is born, and he still has the same attitude, I will go to the courthouse and get info on child support. He thinks he can escape the courts and the law. Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with him. I hate dealing with him.
Do not let him bully you. I made this mistake with my oldest and seriously save yourself the trouble. I believe that you will need to follow Canadian laws regarding your child since she is being born in Canada and will be staying there. Unless you wanted her to be a U.S citizen in which you'd go through US citizen/child support laws.
Do not be afraid to go seek out child support. Personally I wouldnt contact anyone. Id go seek child support and let them hear about it that way. If they wanted to be in her life they will make that effort. Its not as if they arent aware she is coming. You shouldnt have to chase after him or his family.
Im not sure where you go for this im canada. But here you can seek out the welfare office or go to the state attorney general's office and file that way. I filed through the attorney general, has been pretty effective. They did all the work in locating his father and everything else.
Do not be afraid to go seek out child support. Personally I wouldnt contact anyone. Id go seek child support and let them hear about it that way. If they wanted to be in her life they will make that effort. Its not as if they arent aware she is coming. You shouldnt have to chase after him or his family.
Im not sure where you go for this im canada. But here you can seek out the welfare office or go to the state attorney general's office and file that way. I filed through the attorney general, has been pretty effective. They did all the work in locating his father and everything else.
You need a lawyer to get an order for a paternity test to establish him as the father, I know here in the US it can be difficult if the father is not present at the hospital to sign the birth certificate. There is lots of red tape to be dealt with and the sooner you get as lawyer, the better. Remember, before any support can be mandated, you MUST establish paternity! Good luck! :)
So I emailed his mom to let her know my due date is coming up in less than a week and she didn't reply back. I'm disappointed. I tried.
I wouldn't contact them and if you do let his mom know about the fact that he doesn't want to be involved and that you don't want to create problems, if he hasn't call you yet i don't think he will be a responsible father, i was a single mom before i met my husband, trust me sometimes the grandparents are honest about the way they feel, but sending a x-mas card once a year, knowing that is phone, email etc not writing or calling. Just one card a year doesn't make them father nor a granparents!!! Mothers always wantas their best for their kids but sometimes this kind of situacion just make the children feel hurt when they are older my son will be 9 in 2 months, i spend the pregnancy alone, birth alone my son only saw his dad 2 weeks when he was 2, he never writes or call to see how is he doing but you know if you need money because you don't have a job is fine to ask for child support, but remember and i learned this you will have to share your baby with him and his family, my son doesn't have his dad surnames only mine, he didn't even bothered to do that, every story is diferent you are the one who decides, i have a husband now he raised my son since he was 1 year old, and now he wants to give his surnames to my son its been a long process, i wanted to wait till my son was old enough to see what he wants, he knows he has a biological father...never hide that from him. Not trying to be rude or nothing just telling a bit of my story so you can view a bit of the other side, is always hard to be a single mom...but with time things become easier i became a mom at 17, but i always gave my best as a single parent and if he is willing to help you and calls you go for it, as a mother you will know from your heart whats best always listen to yourself first and if you have the feeling that you should contact them ,do so.
If he really wanted to be in the baby's life he wouldn't threaten that you're pushing him away by doing what is best for the baby financially. Sounds like he's trying to scare/manipulate you to not file for support, which no good dad should do. The only way he doesn't have to pay is if it wasn't his or the different country thing is a problem, but i doubt it. Its just sad that because a male doesn't carry the baby, he thinks he can just walk away and not have to help at all or want to.
I copied and pasted what he said to me about taking him to court and child support. This is what he said.
"Stop harassing me and telling me you're taking me to court. You should stop while you are ahead. I don't have to pay you a dime if you're talking about child support. You should be careful with what you say to me because you're going to push me away and that's not smart for the baby."
He's being such a douche.
"Stop harassing me and telling me you're taking me to court. You should stop while you are ahead. I don't have to pay you a dime if you're talking about child support. You should be careful with what you say to me because you're going to push me away and that's not smart for the baby."
He's being such a douche.
I dont know how it works with 2 countries but my dad was always a total deadbeat and never wanted to pay child support when me and my 2 sisters were kids. Eventually he got so backed up in paying the state took it from his paychecks. Don't let him get off that easy. It takes 2! Good luck
Just talk to a lawyer I'm sure they have some laws on that. as long as you do the best you can for her screw him and his family!!
I think what really matter is you got your child support and live happily ever after with your little angel. For the people who don't even care for their own kid, they are trash and they don't deserve anything, not even a pic of your baby!!
@ireloc exactly! I will let him know that. That he can't be in and out of her life. It's not fair to her. I don't wanna deal with someone who's selfish. I'm due in 7 days. I wanna focus on my little girl. It's gonna be hard enough caring for a newborn. I don't want any added stress.
If he can't make an effort to be in her life and participate then why should you make an effort to update hin on her?
Definitely go for the child support and if he decides he wants to be a part of her life make it very clear to him that a part time daddy won't work, it's be a full part or nothing (not saying u guys need to be together or anything like that) but he needs to be more than a once a month visit.
Definitely go for the child support and if he decides he wants to be a part of her life make it very clear to him that a part time daddy won't work, it's be a full part or nothing (not saying u guys need to be together or anything like that) but he needs to be more than a once a month visit.
@mommabear thank you! The situation is difficult. I live in Canada. He lives in the US. So I don't know how child support will work. We talked about child support before and he blew up on me and said he refuses to pay child support. I don't know how someone can be such a douche. I can't force him to be in the baby's life. If he's okay with being a deadbeat, that's his problem. His loss. I love my baby girl. I'm gonna work hard to provide for her.
I do really hope you get ahold of a lawyer and go after him for support whether or not he wants to be in your babys life. I wish you luck momma!
@creole where I'm from, a judge won't let a father sign away his rights unless he's unfit to be a father. E.g. abusive, drug addict. Or if someone adopts the child, then the father can sign away his rights.
I'm gonna contact the grandma. After that they can contact me if they wanna know how the baby is doing. I'm not trying to be mean, but I feel like it should go both ways. I can't be the only one making all the effort.
I'm gonna contact the grandma. After that they can contact me if they wanna know how the baby is doing. I'm not trying to be mean, but I feel like it should go both ways. I can't be the only one making all the effort.
men are interesting creatures. they can't connect eith their baby, unless they have spent time with the baby... I would contact gma she could be a good suport, even when her son is being a dush.
Let him sign away his rights forever. Make him think about how much he really cares.
Seriously, why does it matter if he is upset about having to pay child support! Your the one now in a position to provide care for the child, you need all the support you can get!! I personally would care less if he were mad at me!! Think about how his actions are making you feel!!! I don't know what the relationship was like before but at this time it appears as though your on your own and need to make the best choice for your baby not the father!! The father is grown and is making his own decisions- you now have to make decisions for your baby! I wish you all the best! Also if Gma want to be apart of the babies life that's great, just be sure boundaries are in place!
Yea he knows I'm due this month. And he hasn't bothered to contact me at all. Hasn't asked how the baby is doing or if the baby is here yet. Like wtf?! Does he even care at all that his daughter is coming soon?! But then again I told his mom I'd contact her. I just don't know if she knows that her son has decided not to be in our daughter's life.
I wouldn't contact them...if they know when you due I'd wait and see if they contact u...if your wanting child support then then you can call your local sheriff's department to ask them for child support contact info.
Agreed contact the family and people who were supportive and care
That's how I feel. If I contact his mom instead of him, she'll just show him the pictures. He's asked me about the baby in the beginning. But when I got to 30 weeks, he stopped. I really don't want to talk him right now. It hurts that he changed his mind. If he really wants to know about the baby, he should contact me.
I've mentioned going to court with him and he got mad at me. Said that I'm threatening him with legal stuff.
I've mentioned going to court with him and he got mad at me. Said that I'm threatening him with legal stuff.
Definitely contact a lawyer for child support like mommabear said. Its wrong for him to think its okay to assume zero responsibility for a child he helped bring into the world. As for the Grandmother, I would call her. You may have some support there. Just because he doesn't care, doesn't mean she shares that idea.
Exactly, personally I feel like if you contact the mom and send pictures she will show him and he don't deserve it, I would March down to the child support department the second you recover. He had no problem making the baby. .
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