It sounds like you've already made up your mind about what you are going to do. I AM gonna find out end of next week. I don't see the big deal in keeping it a secret. I know it will be a surprise on the day of birth, but having a baby to me is a big surprise so I'd like to at least be prepared for one thing, which is the sex. I also can't get over everyone else's attitude about my decision to finding out the sex and it sounds like your MIL is the same. I don't think it is anyone else's business what decision you make about finding out/not finding out the sex. At the end of the day it is your baby and every decision you make is YOUR'S to make and not everyone else's so if you want to walk around with a shirt saying "I AM HAVING A BOY/GIRL",then you should. You shouldn't feel like you have to hide things from your MIL and I don't want to feel like that either but I do have a lot of people absolutely SHOCKED because I want to find out the sex. Your pro's definitely look like they outway the con's!!
I agree with Rosie...we are all different, our pregnancies are all different, hey let us all be able to follow what WE want to do!!Apart from welcoming another little person into the world, we Moms-to-be are also special and going through a wonderful and miraculous experience soooo....why can't people back off, accept that they are NOT the ones having the baby, and respect the fact that sometimes we like to do things our way!
I was completely undecided as to whether to find out the sex or not with my first (I also had relatives, including my Mom, who didn't want to know). But, we decided to find out (I live in Italy and here most people DO decide to find out, so at least I wasn't surrounded by people stressing me with the 'should you/shouldn't you' thing! Once we found out (a girl!) I had to keep referring to it as 'it' for a while until my Mom was dying to know too...and she ended up being glad that she knew as she could start looking at cute little outfits that weren't just neutral (although I agree with you amg - there are some really cute things on the market which are good for both boys and girls).
Anyway, do what you feel is right...I was glad I found out in the end because it DID make me 'bond' more with the baby in psycological terms - I could start to imagine her, the stories i could tell her, the songs I could sing to her etc. And of course, my shortlist of girls' names become the only one to consider!
Good luck with whatever you chose to do - as rosie says, that day is going to be totally amazing anyway and NOTHING (least of all knowing beforehand if it's a boy or girl) with detract from that!
thanks samLB and Rosie for your comments.
Just want to clarify, my mil is quite happy with me doing whatever i want, she just wants it to be a surprise for her, and out of respect for her i therefore would keep it secret from everyone else as i feel she should be one of the first to know.
Will let you know what i decide
We did NOT find out the gender of our 1st babies, but we plan to this time. It didn't bother me too much NOT knowing, but other people got miffed because they didn't know what to buy me for the baby showers (they can just get over it). Now, with 3 other kids to deal with, it just makes sense to find out this time, so that we can get the appropriate clothes out, washed, and put away. I read the other day that 71% of women correctly "guess" the gender of their babies anyway. I KNEW my 2nd was a boy and my 3rd was a girl. The first one is a long story: wanted a boy, but kept thinking it was a girl (it was a girl).
i go in the 20th to have an us and ive decided i don't want to know the sex im just gonna let it be a surprise because i already have a boy and a girl so either would be fine with me but im almost sure this one will be a boy!!!!
I find out the 12th and can't wait. I figured since I already lost one of my little twins, I should find out just to help the grieving process. (if that makes any sense). And also I like to be prepared, and if this baby is a girl I'd have to buy all new things since none of my little boy's things were neutral. I figured I'd tell everyone about the pregnancy when I find out the sex. I can't wait to narrow down the names, much better with girls names than boys names though. And no one in my family has ever waited, so I never really considered it a choice..maybe with my 3rd I will? :)
Almost 5 months now, due april fools day :)