second child

[breezy90]

I just had my second child on Monday. When I was in labor, my daughter came to visit and as soon as I saw her I cried uncontrollably. Every time I think about her and how our relationship is going to change, I cry. Did anyone else feel this way when they had their second? How did you handle it and is your relationship with your first just as it was or did it change for good or bad?

[breezy90]

Update: Baby has been here for almost a week now. I can definitely see a change with my 4 year old. She has been super great with getting me things when my hands are full and you can tell that she just loves her sister.  But, I can also tell that some times she feels sad or ignored because I can't get her something right away when she asked for it. I've tried doing things with her when baby is down, but sometimes I'm so tired that it just doesn't work out that way. I am definitely going to continue to spend one on one time with her as much as I can so she doesn't feel that way. Everything seems fine. Definitely different,  but we will figure out a new normal soon!

[0_LING_0]

I had my daughter a month ago and my son is 12. I was so scared that he would feel like we r choosing the new baby over him since its always just been my husband and our son together. Luckily he doesn't feel jealous at all and he helps so much and he is the best big brother! He adores his lil sister and I think they will have an amazing bond as they get older and its also teaching my son about just how hard babies r to take care of. I wish we could have gave him a sibling sooner but it just didn't work out that way. I'm sure both ur babies will have a wonderful bond. And ur daughter knows u love her! Its just something u r worried about but shouldn't.

[mom_to_be_of_3]

I felt the same way when my second one was born. My daughter was 4 1/2 when my son was born, I explained everything to her about the baby. She even went with me to all the doctor's appointments, ultrasounds and she was even with me the day I drove myself to the hospital an saw her little brother when he was only an hour old. I used to also feel sad when I used to think about our relationship changing. She was such a big help with taking care of her little brother, at the beginning I did what the previous post says, while the baby slept I would cuddle with her, play, read books and watch her favorite shows and movies. As time went by, the time we got to spend one on one started getting shorter and shorter. My first son is now almost 2. I had my 3rd two weeks ago and I can say that unfortunately things have changed between my daughter and I. It is a little hard trying to spend time just with her, not just because of the toddler and the newborn, but also because she always wants her little brothers to come along and from them to be included on everything we do. It is such a joy to see how much she loves her two little brothers. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that, as sad as it might feel and seem now, things do change, in my case for the better since I see how happy my daughter is having someone else to love and share with. She doesn't seem sad like I thought she would be. I still sit next to her bed and read her bed time stories, and I allow her to help with things around the house and with taking her of the babies, she feels so proud of being a big sister. I wish you the best! God bless!

[Mamaofdeux]

I just had my 2nd on the 9th, so I am by no means an expert but I can offer you the insight I have so far. My oldest turned 2 two days after the baby was born, so I was really nervous about his reaction to the baby and dealing with jealousy and (for lack of a better word) abandonment issues. But honestly its been pretty great. There's been a couple moments when he's been too rough but I expected that because like I said, he's only 2. He is a HUGE help. Always the first to realize the baby is waking up, grabbing bottles, pacifiers and blankets for me. He helps me burp the baby and grabs me diapers when its time to change him. The way I do it is this, if the baby is asleep, all my attention is on my oldest. If I need to clean, I get him involved in it. I cuddle him and watch his favorite movies with him and sneak him his favorite snacks. It helps that in the beginning the baby sleeps so much because it gets him used to the idea slowly, that he's going to have to share more and more of my time.

[Liske]

Well, i'm a ftm, but been a big sister most of my life. Yes, your 1st born will have to share your attention, and may need some time to get used to that, but she/he will gain a little brother or sister, and that is an amazing gift. My little sister has been my best friend my whole life, we are very close, we look after each other and always have each other's back, no matter what.
Just make sure to involve the big sis/brother in all that is happening with the newborn, let her/him help out taking care of the little one etc.

[RaiderBaby2015]

I get sad when I think about it too & have been trying to spend as much one on one time with my daughter before baby arrives. Following post for 2nd time mommy insight :)

[paigej707]

I would like to know this as well because I'm going in to give birth today. Every time I think about my first child and my relationship I get so sad thinking it could change. I feel so much love for her and love our mommy daughter bond I worry how she's going to react to the baby as well. Curious and will be checking the answers on this. Good post.