Congrats sweetie...I"m SO SO SO sorry that things went so poorly for you, NO ONE should have to feel like that while bringing their new little miracle into the world, and especially in the weeks after delivery..it's hard enough without all those complications. my after-delivery recovery from my daughter was horrible because I tore so bad and because I lost so much blood...and I feel so much sympathy for you trying to do it all with such a horrible experience.
Yes, the pain WILL go away. I hurt until almost my 6-wks post-partum check-up, and then it suddenly seemed to get better and then one day I woke up and it felt like it was all healed...I was even able to have sex after my 6-wk post-partum and considering how badly I tore, I never thought I would feel able to again!
do you have an inflatable donut or cushion to sit on? they recommend not using them because they restrict blood flow to the healing area but F that, I used one because it was the ONLY way I could sit up to breastfeed and hold my daughter post-partum for almost a month and a half.
hang in there girl I promise it does get better I'm so sorry that this awful experience tainted what should've been the most wonderful time of your life.
btw I had a small episiotomy this time and the pain is already gone at 3wks post-partum....how big was the cut? i think your doctor MAY have cut too much because most episiotomies heal fairly quickly...it's the tears that take forever to heal.
Thanks for the advice! Yeah I asked him several times what degree and he acted like he didn't know. Is he allowed to cut without my permission since it was a no on my plan? I'm so upset with him... He was very agressive.
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks so I guess I'll give it more time befor I worry. I haven't even been able to take a walk down the street bc the pain gets too bad. I also have some urinary incontinence.
Thanks for sharing your story, it helps :)
I'm not sure about the legality..I would assume if the baby was stuck and you weren't stretching then he's legally obligated to but it really doesn't sound like that was the story....I know my OB asked me and when I expressed some concern he told me that the repair job from my daughter's delivery had left me with a ring of cartilage (scar tissue) that was reinforced by some sort of medical mesh...apparently when I tore I was so shredded that the OB who delivered my daughter had to use some medical meshing to hold me together, so the OB had to cut the tissue and the mesh because it literally was unable to stretch to allow my son out (can you tell that I haven't looked *down there* since my daughter was born? too chicken to, lol)...so my episiotomy was a bit different.
But I do know that the pain from the tear had diminished by my 6-wk checkup...I was shaking in terror I was so afraid that the exam would hurt, but it was only mildly uncomfortable. If you're still hurting that bad I would consider getting a consult with a different OBGYN and seeing what their advice is, but it WILL eventually stop either way.
I'm just so heartbroken that things went like this for you it should've been so enjoyable...I'm sorry hon :(
Oh my gosh it sounds like you had a tough first time too! I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you had a better experience this time around. Thank you for your kind words and advice, I appreciate it :)