I'm 25 and currently 19 weeks pregnant. I have suffered from depression, anxiety and insomnia all of my life. I have been in and out of therapy since the 2nd grade and on and off medications since I was a teenager. Well for over 2 years now I have been taking Xanax and I tried several times to stop taking it before I became pregnant but I suffered severe withdrawal symptoms, such as: nauseousness, throwing up, panic attacks, it made my insomnia worse ( I wouldn't sleep for days or maybe a week at a time) I lost my appetite and still don't have much of one but the most severe symptom I had was convulsions, I suffered 4 of them.
The first time I fell walking up the stairs, face first and broke my nose, I fell so hard that it knocked me backwards down the stairs and I smacked my head against the floor and suffered a concussion and of course I ended up in the emergency room and they did CT scans, Xrays etc. and couldn't find a cause for the convulsion, I had another a few months later when I tried to stop the xanax again and fell down the stairs again but this time I didn't get injured, again they did CT scans etc. and everything was normal. I ran out of xanax the next time and passed out in the bathroom, and the last time I was lucky enough to be lying on my bed.
Each time I went to the hospital and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, until I got a Doctor who knew what they were doing. I told them every time I went about the medications I was taking but finally the last time I went the Doctor told me that I was suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms caused by the xanax and I didn't even know I was addicted, I would start to have panic attacks at first if I didn't take them but could usually get over the attack without any medication but I was on the xanax so long that my system became used to it and my regular Doctor had prescribed it wrong the entire time I was on it. They would put me on it, then take me off it and put me on another med, then they would put me back on the xanax and either up or lower the dose, this went on for awhile and almost every time I went into withdrawals it was because they didn't want to prescribe it to me that week or because I had ran out because I was taking more than I needed but not noticing that I was.
Well anyway that's the reason I have to stay on the medication during my pregnancy because of the severe withdrawals, they would be worse for me and the baby than staying on the med while I'm pregnant. I'm on 5mg of xanax XR to be taken as needed, I have been able to taper off of it but I can't just stop taking it. I only take it when I absolutely have to (because I've been on it so long it doesn't always help me anyway) or I take a small dose about once a week to keep the withdrawals away, my concern about the baby and the withdrawals are obviously adding to my anxiety but I just want to know if anyone else has taken xanax throughout their pregnancy and how everything turned out.
I know the only way I'll be able to stop taking it is to go into rehab which I can't do while I'm pregnant either. None of my Doctors said I had to stop taking it and I talked to a geneticist who went over all of the medications I was taking and she did some research on xanax and pregnancy and said she couldn't find anything saying that it could or would harm an unborn baby, I was also on Remeron for insomnia and it's a class C drug and she researched that but told me that it could cause harm to the baby and that I should stop taking it so I did.
I feel so terrible now, the pregnancy hormones are making everything worse. I have constant anxiety about everything including the baby and I've been on a lot of medications in the past and a lot of them didn't help me with depression or anxiety, I even had to switch between Remeron and Ambien every time I went to my Doctor for my insomnia because after a few days they would stop working and my insomnia would become worse.
I just want everything to be okay. I've had 2 ultrasounds and they were both good and all of my tests have came back negative (which is good) and the heartbeat is always strong. But I went for a checkup the other day and my Doctor changed my 20 week ultrasound because he wants me to get it done at a different facility because he said they have better ultrasound equipment and because I'm taking xanax he wants to do a good check on the babys heart. When he told me that I started having a panic attack and I was standing at the front desk in the office. He assured me that the baby was doing good and that the heartbeat was always strong and good but he just wanted to make sure that everything is as good as they think they are. Then I made my appointment for the other facility and got pissed because I have to wait almost 2 weeks to get my ultrasound, it's not just because I want to know the sex but having an ultrasound done would help my anxiety.
I don't know what to do. I'm so happy to be pregnant and I wanted this baby for a long time but my depression, anxiety and insomnia are killing me. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to go anywhere, I can't really eat most of the time (the Doctor is worried because I'm not gaining weight but I'm also tall and skinny and it's always been difficult for me to put on weight) I can't sleep and when I do, I don't sleep well and at most it's only a few hours at a time. My husband it being as supportive as he can but nothing is helping me and I feel like I'm going crazy. I have constant anxiety and then the depression is terrible, I'll cry for no reason, I have no ambition, no attention span etc. I just want to know if anyone else has been on xanax or a similar med while they were pregnant and if anyone has felt like this? I feel so alone and I'm not happy, I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy. I thought when I got pregnant that it would make things better but it hasn't and I don't know what to do. Xanax is basically the only medication that I'm taking, I take Ambien only when I absolutely have to and I take Adderall the same way. My Psychiatrist did prescribe me Buspirone and it's a category B which is supposed to be safe to take while you're pregnant but it doesn't help me at all. I just need something to get through this and I don't know what else to do. If anyone has any advice or suggestions I would appreciate them. Thank you!!!