Overbearing grandparents, unsupportive father?

[LisaTheFTM]

I'm a FTM and my son is almost two months old. Since the day he was born my mother and I continually bumped heads over everything I did with him. The day he was born I was bonding with him until she comes in and snatches him from my arms without even asking. my sons father calls his parents to come without asking me if it was a good time and when they arrived, she did not follow my request of sanitizing her hands and took him from me without even saying hello and the father didn't mind that I was uncomfortable about it at all and accused me of not liking his family which is untrue. The hospital discharged us while my son had a pretty high billirubin level and the next day had to be admitted into the NICU. When my mom arrived she would not let me hold my child or feed him and would continuously tell me it's all my fault that he's like this and that I'm not a good parent and that she can't trust me with her grandchild even when the doctor said it was not my fault but was the hospitals fault for releasing him too soon. When we were finally able to take him home she would complain about my parenting skills and take him from me. When he cries at night she wakes up immediately and runs to our room and takes him without asking even when I'm awake and comforting him. She tells me I'm not feeding him enough and feeds him for every whimper she hears. When I hold him she'll tell me to stop over stimulating him and to put him down but 5 seconds later push me away and hold him. She takes him to her room and rocks him to sleep and tells me "how he likes to be rocked and how he likes to sleep" something I already know being as I'm the one that's rocked him and layed him down every time. She wouldn't let me look at him when he sleeps thinking I'm gonna wake up my son and tells me to get out of her room and leave him alone. Last night we brought him home from his paternal grandmas house, my son woke up and starting crying and as his father was holding him trying to rock him to sleep. Not even a minute of his father holding him my mom comes out of her room reaches for him and very rudely says "No. Give him to me." And takes him to her room and sleeps with him. My sons father is now annoyed and started talking badly about my mother to my face saying that his mom would never do that and my mom won't even let him take care of his son and blames me when he has never helped take care of his son. He works Monday-Thursday and when he comes home all I experience is waking up in the middle of the night to my son screaming and crying to be fed and changed and his father telling me to wake up and take care of him while he plays his online games because he's "too tired". The paternal grandma is always protected by the father. I have shown how much I do not want the family dog around my son until he had had a few shots yet the paternal grandma and the father continuously lets the miniature dog jump on the car seat while my son is In it and let's the dog lick him while even when I'm there trying to stop it. My mom is the only one who helps me watch my son so I can sleep since the father only wants to take care of his son when its more convenient for him not caring about what I have to do what errands I have and not caring whether or not I get to sleep. What do I do about my mom being too overbearing or too possessive? And what do I do about the child's father that does not help around with baby duties but complains about my mother and defends the actions of his mother?

[zeelaa]

My mil is the same, I just want her to stop pretending and acting like she knows my son but she just doesn't. I need to stand up for my myself and my son because he gets so uncomfortable. So I will be telling her to back off and let me raise my son the way I know how. Because he's my baby and not hers.

[shamuthewhale]

I guess its a grandparents thing to be overbearing...my mother did that with my 1st daughter it was so bad she never even let me bath her everything I did was wrong,but that was 13yrs ago.with my son who is 2months old she tried doing the same thing to the point of not allowing my frnds to come visit in my house.Just keep reminding her its ur child or take control wake up and do what she does for your son.take control otherwise ul go crazy.Trust me I've been there

[AnnieBrooke]

I assume you are living with your mother, from the sound of it, and are pretty young?  What are the chances of you moving out?  Or do you need her in the middle of the night because your husband is not being helpful?  If you actually need her more than you don't need to be annoyed by her, simply tell her that she is a big help in your life but she is being far too rude, and you will move out if she cannot stop all the negative commentary.