devastated & angry with my body

[Teagan_Chelle]

I feel like my body's failed me... I had a rough pregnancy, but until last week had been still on target to deliver my baby naturally. Last week, my midwife informed me that they woukd be inducing me thanks to my gestational diabetes diagnosis at 32 weeks. I had planned on letting my baby boy come on his own because I know its best for him to be in there for the full 40 weeks or more. Initially, I was petrified to be told that I was to be induced, but eventually came around after seeking a second opinion from the main attending physician in the practice. Now, today, I learn instead that I will be scheduled for a cesarean because my hips and pelvis have been unbearable to put weight on when walking (I was born with double hip dysplasia, and though corrected, I have still had problems with them over the years), so my midwife and physician are concerned about the long term affects that a vaginal birth could have on my hips. I'm devastated right now, this is not the experience that I wanted to have! I'm terrified to have a cesarean birth above all else and hate my body right now for not doing what it was designed to do!! :(

[Kristy112]

I totally understand You as so many birth plans has changed for me too and I just feel like I want to smash something and plus there is angry toddler who gets sick and he needs my attention and care so no time for dealing with my anger. But what doesnt leave my mind is that all in all, we should be glad we're living in this time cos Mother Nature aint fool and if there were'nt todays medicine I wouldnt be here and neither my toddler or baby in belly of course. So, truely I say - You are lucky to have options! Enjoy Your pregnancy and do something for Your soul - Your baby will be happy too. :)

[Van818]

It's so hard when you've planned one thing all pregnancy  and the option gets taken away. I planned a home birth in a pool. At 35 wks I was told I needed a paediatrician at birth so had to be in hospital which freaked me out. When my waters broke there was meconium in them so I couldn't even stay at home for early labour. After 36 hours in hospital I delivered by emergency cesarean as my boy's heart rate dropped with the oxytocin they had to give me.

Try focus on the fact that the important things are healthy mother and healthy baby. If that means cesarean than that will have to be. It's not so bad! At least you know now it's a cesarean rather than trying for 36 hours only to have a cesarean anyhow like I did!

My boy is 10 days old, very healthy: feeding and sleeping well. I am recovering well but tired and definitely still need painkillers. You will be fine and soon you'll have your baby in your arms and all this worry will be inconsequential and behind you x

[rainbowbb]

I felt the sender hate, if not way more, when I was spending 2.5 years going through fertility treatment and losing two babies. What a terrible feeling it is to not have what you imagined being the perfect pregnancy/birth. I totally understand how you feel in the body disappointment department. I've just learned to look past the way I get to the finish line as long as I get there and receive a healthy baby. The journey doesn't matter so much as the end product. Doesn't hurt your ego any less though

[Danielleberger1]

I'm so sorry you don't get to experience the birth plan you wanted. I know it's hard to think about, but be glad you were able to have your child and they will be born safe because the drs are trying to do what's best for you and your baby. Nothing is wrong with you because you can't have a baby vaginally. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes better hun. Just relax and enjoy the last little bit of time you have before baby comes and then enjoy the baby. :)