Hormone struggles

[Linna001]

So I'm curious how you ladies deal with hormones? I'm 9 weeks, I don't have a good/healthy relationship with my MIL, neither does my husband. We both can't stand her at points. She undermines our wishes (tries having our 1st born call her husband, my husband's step dad, Papa, which we do not like/want. She tells us we should control our son when we go to restaurants and he has a meltdown for 2 seconds, he's 1... and that we basically can't do the things we plan on doing when we can etc) she's a handful... this pregnancy so far is very easy compared to my first,but my patience with her seems super thin. All I want to do is yell at her and roll my eyes. Basically speak my mind instead of tip-toing around her. I exercise, I do stretches, but nothing helps my temper when it comes to dealing with her. Even if it's for a 5 minute hi bye senerio... does anyone have any ideas on how to tame my hightened hormones???

[specialmom]

Hi there. Wow, what a smart lady to realize that your hormones are making things worse and want to try to keep them in check!  

This is really hard.  I find deep breaths really help me.  Taking a little breather such as going for a little walk, sitting down in the restroom behind closed doors, going home later and journaling all of my frustrating feelings rather than speaking them all help.  

Sleep helps any time our hormones are out of whack.  Get a bit extra if you can.  Eat healthy.  Exercise.  All of these things help keep us naturally stress free.

Here's an article on pregnancy hormones and moods that might be a good read:  http://www.medhelp.org/pregnancy-health/articles/Mood-Swings-During-Pregnancy-Your-Symptoms-Manual/2004

Anyway, I admire your wiliness to work on controlling this.  Often those driving us crazy mean well or are important to the one we love and it is important not to damage that relationship with them as best we can.  Be kind to yourself and hugs

[Linna001]

Omg! I don't know why I never thought about getting up and going to the bathroom to hide for a moment when they're around! I should have done that at the restaurant last night! I'll definitely look into the article thank you!

[snowyaj]

By saying my unsupportive family, I'm referring to my extanded family. I know if my mum was around she'd be a great support.

[snowyaj]

My MIL is a sweetheart, but by frig is she doing my head in!!!I'm 37 wks. She means well but she's incredibly nosey and thinks that she knows best. I hate being backed into a corner or being repeatedly asked the same question when my answer never changes. I talked to hubby about it but he thinks I'm over reacting because they "are such a close family". Like for example SIL got married... She made it her mission to inform each and every one of us of the cost... Not our business... Or BIL's wife just had #2 and if she offers to take the older kid to give them a break and wife says no (I can understand) she has a melt down about how ungrateful the wife is, which I think is unfair. My own family aren't very supportive... Mum's passed, God rest her, and my father's a pathetic excuse for a man so I kinda have to rely on my in-laws a bit more, but I have snapped and told her how she makes me feel... And as predicted... She takes offense as she's "only trying to help".

It seems that no matter what way ye look at any situation it never fully gets resolved. I wish I could help but unfortunately these seem to be the cards we're delt. Just keeo exercising (the gyms the only thing that keep me sane in this case) and try to keeo your chin up! You're a better woman and your kids will appreciate that!

Good luck x

[Linna001]

Oh gosh... she sounds like my MIL but on a nicer end lol nosy is putting it lightly on my end. I'm sorry your hub isn't on the same page as you. It'd be tough if that was my case. And no, no one other then bride and groom need to know numbers. That'd drive me crazy... my MIL LOVED to tell me how I wasn't going to be able to handle labor. And in the end I had so many complications with my son that we almost lost him and had an emergency CSec. But luckily, everything turned out fine and he's healthy. But she still throws it in my face that we couldn't have a vag delivery. That my son and I will never be bonded because of it. And that's when I wanna smack her lol my kiddo and I are beyond bonded and loved. Regardless of how I had him and regardless of how she feels about it. But luckily my hub and MIL aren't close so he let's her have it when needed. But thanks for having a sympathy ear for me :-) I'll definitely keep my exercise routine up. Hopefully it'll help more then it has. :-/

[LoopyGladys]

Just let rip and tell her it's your hormones making you admit your feelings. It's what I did during my last pregnancy with my SIL x

[Linna001]

Lol I wish I could. I think even if I was at my breaking point I don't think I could. But we'll see as these hormones go as I get bigger :-/ maybe I won't be able to contain myself. My husband let's her have it when it becomes too much. But I know if I say something in the heat of the moment I'd never be able to undo it. It'd be too honest for her.

[baby1209]

Don't go around her.

[Linna001]

Lol trying the definitely lol

[Linna001]

*trying that definitely

[RockRose]

IMHO,  yelling at her and rolling your eyes is absolutely out of the question.  ;D  I know you want to,  but civilized people don't do that to family members who are just quirky and irritating.  

It sounds like she has different standards - in her generation, you didn't allow babies to scream in a restaurant.  If you're in a McDonalds or a grocery store,  that's one thing,  but if you're in a sit-down restaurant with a waiter,  you didn't allow a baby to scream without tending to it immediately.  I've never seen a one year old "meltdown" for two seconds.  I'm just suggesting the possibility that it's embarrassing for her to be out with a baby who is screaming and no one is making an effort to quiet the child for the benefit of other diners.

I think this is really mature of you (sincerely) that you're asking for help in controlling your heightened pregnancy hormones around her - wanting to control yourself is 90% there to finding the solution.

The solution is just don't say any words.  When you become really irritated at her,  just don't say words.  

Is there some reason that you don't want your child to call your MIL's husband an affectionate term?  Is there another grandfatherly like term you want the child to call him (just not Papa for some reason)?  

[Linna001]

Lol sometimes being civilized isn't easy. Hence why I'm asking for tips... & this woman isn't quirky. Or irritating. Lol believe me. She's anything but those things. She's a woman that drove us to move across country a few years ago because my husband wanted to cut her out of his life. She's a very toxic person that I convinced him not to cut her out. Only because I feared he'd regret doing so later in life. To this day he wishes he didn't listen to me and cut her out. And the meltdown happened for 2 seconds because our son wanted his milk and we in the process of pulling it out of the diaper bag when he screamed. So yes, was basically 2 seconds of a short scream. He's actually a very well behaved quiet kid. her husband is a racist jerk. I'm Hispanic and my husband's family is white. And her husband does nothing but speak bad of anyone of any color. To be honest he never was like this. It's why we don't want our son calling him anything to be honest. But he did used to be very kind. But even my husband's cousins won't invite them to their kids bday parties because they hate the kind of people they've become over the past few years. But we know our sons going to call him something so we say to call him Grandpa. But in the end I need to learn to control my self around these people cause we do see them once a month sometimes more if we have to. But they're not nice people. And they're people we want to limit interacting with not only our son but us as well. It's not all in my head. It's not all being made out to be bigger. I shouldnt have to reveal so much about the situation. I'm not being a whiny gal. I'm seriously dealing with rude people and I seriously need tips to control hormones that are making my patience wear thin with them and also make my temper want to explode. You make light of my question for tips and I understand why. But the underlying issues is I just want tips... not to be told she's quirky or that no child only has a meltdown for 2 seconds or why not call my MIL husband something else. Those aren't what I'm asking about. I'm looking for helpful tips for temper control for dealing with difficult people. Not to have to explain myself. No one on here should have to explain as to why they need advice or tips. Or made to feel underminded. Yet I find myself having to defend my question. So please, if you have a helpful tip please share. Other wise don't post.