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Husband and porn
Ok, so here's my situation. My husband has looked at porn before in the past and I don't agree with it. I feel like him looking at porn is in a way saying that I'm not good enough for him or satisfying him in that way. Like my body is not attractive to him so he has to look elsewhere. Anyway so I've explained to him how I feel about it and he apologized and said he understood. Today I found porn on his phone AGAIN. He said it's from the last time but that's a lie cuz the last time I deleted it in front of him. He is acting like he doesn't care and oh well. And the said thing is I just told him this morning how I feel distant from him and I didn't like how we weren't having sex and he said sorry and nothing's going on and he will make a
a better effort. But ugh it makes me so mad and I more upset he's lieing about it and shows no remorse for me. I'm 14 weeks pregnant. already gained about 8 lbs, have stretch marks galore showing from previous pregnancies, exhausted all day, working full time and taking care of kids now this is just icing on the cake. I feel like crying. Sorry so long, needed to vent. Thanks ladies!
a better effort. But ugh it makes me so mad and I more upset he's lieing about it and shows no remorse for me. I'm 14 weeks pregnant. already gained about 8 lbs, have stretch marks galore showing from previous pregnancies, exhausted all day, working full time and taking care of kids now this is just icing on the cake. I feel like crying. Sorry so long, needed to vent. Thanks ladies!
Us woman who have monogomous relationships with our significant others are not petty! And not everyone on here thinks the woman who watch it have self respect problems more power to ya. Its not about controlling anyone either its the point of getting what you are giving! If you are giving your husband 100% he should be giving you 100%! That's the point. You yourself said you are a cheater that speaks for itself. Its not naive to think our husband wont watch it....its called having respect for us! And trust me I am far from being divorced ot anything! You cant shame people for feeling what they are feeling! Everyones different. And porn is a real problem! It breaks up homes and families and yes it breaks woman too! You have got to be kidding me with your crap! People are missing the point and meaning of monogomy these days!
Us woman who have monogomous relationships with our significant others are not petty! And not everyone on here thinks the woman who watch it have self respect problems more power to ya. Its not about controlling anyone either its the point of getting what you are giving! If you are giving your husband 100% he should be giving you 100%! That's the point. You yourself said you are a cheater that speaks for itself. Its not naive to think our husband wont watch it....its called having respect for us! And trust me I am far from being divorced ot anything! You cant shame people for feeling what they are feeling! Everyones different. And porn is a real problem! It breaks up homes and families and yes it breaks woman too! You have got to be kidding me with your crap! People are missing the point and meaning of monogomy these days!
Maybe you all should work on your self esteem issues. Saying us women who don't mind it have self respect problems is a joke. I enjoy watching porn just as much as any man. It doesn't mean I'm not satisfied I just like to watch it. Just because I'm not trying to control every aspect of my husbands life like all of you controlling psychopaths doesn't mean I have self esteem issues. Like you all said you don't feel comfortable with your bodies well I do. I love how glowing I am and how much my hair has grown and so does my husband. You all have so many other things to worry about instead of your man watching porn. I've been a cheater before and know for a fact my man isn't cheating. You all are niave for thinking you can stop him from watching it. He dang sure couldn't tell me to stop watching it. I bet half the women on here saying you should reprimand him for it are either divorced for some stupid reason or are going to be divorced soon. You've got to be kidding me with all this petty crap.
Its good to know that I'm not the only woman who feels this way...and I agree I wouldn't let it ruin my relationship but that doesn't mean it hurts any less....
I appreciate everyone's advice. This isn't something that I would let ruin my marriage but I guess being pregnant and already feeling insecure about my body it just made it worse. I know my husband loves me and I highly doubly he would do anything with another woman. I just don't agree with porn. Not my thing. But again thank you ladies for all your responses! I truly appreciate it!
It's ok I think maybe I read it to fast... But I definitely understand where you are coming from.. I'm trying to overlook how I feel and put myself in others shoes.. just because it doesn't bother me it bothers you guys and that I can understand.. I just don't want you guys to feel any less of a woman or less attractive because I know that's not the case. Because most of you are married and if he wasn't attracted to you I highly doubt if he would have married you for those ladies thats married of course.. no hard feelings at all.. thanks for responding without bashment.. due to my miscommunication because uhh women on here love to argue.. Goodluck to you ladies I hope you don't let this ruin your relationships...
Its definitely hard not heat yourself up about it...I literally just went through this. Im 9 months pregnant and we have sex 1-2:times a day. So I guess it was more like a slap in the face that I wasnt enough to curb his appetite I guess you could say. But yet nh bf was only watching at work....Bc its winter time and they don't do anything. So maybe he was watching it out of boredom but that's still not an excuse. It just ***** to know you are carrying his baby going through all of these changes dealing with the hormones and hes watching another woman. I talked to my bf about it...I feel.closer to him knowing that I told him how I felt about it and he apologized. I didn't shame him or anything but I wanted to know why and what not. I guess in a situation you shouldn't hide your feelings Bc no one else is going to be hurt but you and that doesn't solve anything. As for the woman who you are talking about and did all that stuff I would def felt devastated....and hurt. But I wouldn't of gone and changed my appearance...I would of asked him what he got out of it. Something he wants to try...or what he likes about it..after I had that talk with my bf and found that hes more open with me sexually and its been better. I didn't say that you did tell the woman to get over it. It was supposed to be more of a general statement. My bad if you took it that way.
Yea exactly we probably don't always be in the mood when they are.. yes they better wait
lol no but ona sserious note yes they should wait or please themselves.. but some guys I guess can't get it out themselves I guess without visual stimulation I guess idk.. I don't have those problems in my household.. I'm just guessing.. One woman said she dyed her hair brought sexy lingerie and she still caught her man watching... some man just can't get enough uhh it's sad to say that.. but I guess i just feel she shouldnt beat herself up over something not in her control.. i really hope you are not referring to me about the get over your feelings part because not once did I say any of these women should at any point of my post.mm
lol no but ona sserious note yes they should wait or please themselves.. but some guys I guess can't get it out themselves I guess without visual stimulation I guess idk.. I don't have those problems in my household.. I'm just guessing.. One woman said she dyed her hair brought sexy lingerie and she still caught her man watching... some man just can't get enough uhh it's sad to say that.. but I guess i just feel she shouldnt beat herself up over something not in her control.. i really hope you are not referring to me about the get over your feelings part because not once did I say any of these women should at any point of my post.mm
Also...the point that someone made the point that we aren't always going to be in the mood everytime hes horny....well then he should wait also....or take care of it himself without porn. That is possible. they are not always in the mood when we are. Woman giving the men the excuse they are visual beings...have more respect for yourself and your relationship.
Perhaps its the woman who don't care about it. Is the reason why society thinks its ok!. Everyone does have the right to there own opinion. But you don't tell woman to get over there feelings. Its how they feel. If you feel comfortable with your husband or boyfriend watching porn that's ok. But not every woman is like that. It does have something to do with self confidence but I think it has more to do with the respect we have for our boyfriends or husbands. Our thoughts and views have changed about them a bit. Every relationship is different but you deserve the same resspect you are giving him! Also you admit there is a problem within him. Exactly what we are upset about as his significant other its our job to be there its a partnership! Its jot something that should go ignored.
At the end I meant to say don't cry yourself to
sleep the problem is not within you it's within him...
sleep the problem is not within you it's within him...
@tiaspilchuck4 in my post that I hope you fully read.. yes your entitled to your opinions or even expectations.. I'm not here to dictate anyones household.. I'm just stating my opinion.. I just feel it's kinda ridiculous for a woman to get herself all stressed out and choose to throw away a relationship over her man watching porn... And on a personal note my man don't watch porn he's not in to it.. but I can't say the same for myself.. he knows I like it and he don't have a problem with it.. and personally I don't watch it because he lacks at anything in the bedroom I watch it once ina blue because I like it.. spice up our bedroom activities keep it fun and spicey... So Tia hope you kinda understand more of my point of view... And @jaloveslorelei your just plain ole hilarious with the foolishness that even came out your mouth you can't be serious wtf do daddy issues or child abuse come in on in this topic... And secondly I know for a FACT my man isn't out there disrespecting me outside of our bedroom cause I know how to make my man happy.. And my post on here was not to down play or degrade any woman on here that truly stands by the way she feels.. if she doesn't want to tolerate it so be it... That's her standards.. I just feel it's stupid to break up or throw away a relationship over porn or quit your job to be home 24/7 to watch your man to make sure he doesn't watch it that's ridiculous and I find that Hillllllllllllllariousssssssss... I would never shame another woman for having her set of standards or morals so with that being said you should calm yourself down this story is not even about you... Lastly but not least if it's that much of a problem with these women with their man instead of acting out and breaking up . Help your man it could be ammental issue seek counseling together to fix the problem don't think your any less of a woman or less attractive or don't even cry yourself to self the problem is not within you it's withi him....
I didn't mean to turn this into a debate. Just wanted to vent. Thank you to the ladies who are understanding.
@skittles..A woman has every right to own her feelings and emotions just because porn doesnt effect or hurt you and your relationship doesnt mean it doesnt effect others. I made the commintment to lust only for my husband the day i said my vows. I excpect the same commitment from him. The only difference between porn and real life woman is just a screen. No, he cant physically touch them but having the desire to look at them is just as hurtful.
It's really interesting that some woman define thier confidence and security as "being ok with my husband jerking off to other woman" I really hope you find a higher definition and source of confidence. All the girls I know that are so ok with these things, to the extent they brag and rag on women who arent, are the same girls whose husband's are out cheating. Its always with less attractive girls too. I dont get it. But I'm out grabbing a drink with some friends and your man is making out with some butter face across the bar, everyone except you knows it, but no one can tell you, bc you'll deny it or turn on those trying to help. Because your so cool and you trust your man... ha! You might think the whole self respect thing, the respect for women in which child abuse and daddy issues have driven to be apart of these films, and the expectations they have for man to meet are hillariouss... and that's really a shame Bc when your men are out screwing around, none of us think it's hillariousss. Wish the respect for other woman was a 2 way street here. To each thier own but don't know where any of you get off shaming other woman for having morals and standards. These women are generally products of incest, child sexual abuse, etc. Forgive us for not wanting to continue the cycle.
That's boys who will see it like that as in non realistic sex just see and think sexual acts suppose to be like the movies he watch.. a Man wouldn't think like that because he know it's not realistic.. but you could be right for some...
The problem with it is that if a guy starts watching it too often, then it sets these unrealistic perceptions of what sex is supposed to be like. And the more they seek it out, the more they need to get off. Over time, that translates to not being able to be satisfied be their real life partner which then leads to cheating on order to get that same kind of rush. It's a proven fact that this occurs often. There have been actual research studies about this. And the younger they were when they started watching it, the more messed up they are when it comes to truly understanding what real life sex is supposed to be like.
So, while I don't see it as cheating and I could care less about the way the girls look, my concern is with the long term effects of them seeing that and not having a realistic view of sex between normal people who aren't porn stars. That's the real problem with guys who watch porn.
So, while I don't see it as cheating and I could care less about the way the girls look, my concern is with the long term effects of them seeing that and not having a realistic view of sex between normal people who aren't porn stars. That's the real problem with guys who watch porn.
Yes it's something most of you ladies that posted should get over.. yea we all might feel a little insecure about our selves being pregnant duhh we pregnant and our bodies are going through changes.. now I see if you like uhh all he wanna do is watch porn an not touch me or have relations with me or what ever because he to busy pleasing himself and fantasizing over video vexins but that is not the case for any of the post I read tonight.. to me I just see jealousy because your man see another woman attractive come on we will always have another female that might have a sexier body than us that's just the way it is.. you don't have to agree with his video watching but I would rather him watch it with me or with out me but make sure he don't go out an cheat on me physically.. because then that's way different compared to just watching videos as I said in a prior post.. but every woman on here is entitled to there own opinion or expectations.. I just feel as I said before this is minor choose your battles because that's when the lying and sneaking will happen and for what.. just to please his lady when all he wanted was to Please himself mentally with a pointless video...
Heart broken over porn some of you ladies on here are Hillllllllllllllariousssssssss.. I feel it's sad that you would say you basically feel cheated on or even threatened by a woman in a video or a website aka something that was previously taped... Now I see if it was live video stream of some random ladies that he could possibly meet up with but they are not.. sometimes men just like to look at sexual acts.. I don't see anything wrong with it you should feel disrespected if he actually went out an had sex with someone else not because he watched a video.. I see if it was a video of someone you both knew but it's not..if you are not into videos fine that's you but I guarantee he was watching videos before he met you.. and for the lady who quit her job to stay home to keep her eye on that man is totally ridiculous.. first of all you can't watch him 24/7 if he is that addicted he will find a way.. I don't get what is the big deal.. you guys can't be acting all emotional over fantasy things it's pointless and silly.. why can't a man have his own lil fun time aka video time I say either watch it with him see what is so interesting about it figure out why he likes it maybe if you gave it a chance you would like it to.. and also find something new to do in the bedroom instead of the same things you guys are use to.. spice it up uhh let the man live a little it's not like he loves you any less.. you ladies ranting and raving over something so small.. this is minor compared to the stories I hear on here that happens to females pregnant or not and not just on here.. the not only have men watching the movies but there are some men who act it out with other woman.. while his lady is at home pregnant or not porn is harmless... Get over yourselves.. cheating is worst... Pick your battles wisely.. that is why you would find your man sneaking like a child to watch it.. when he is not a child he is just being a man.. it's just something men do.. not all just some.. it's nothing to lose feathers over or pick unnecessary fights about...
I know what you are going through. I am still trying to figure things out myself. You will begin to feel better emotionally after a few days. But doesn't mean the hurt doesn't still come to your mind or all the questions you are asking yourself. As for the people who are saying its normal or what not....it really isn't. Porn has become to accessible. Its actually ruining relationships and marriages. Its not something woman should just have to deal with or get over. These are her feelings! Men should learn some self control. Part of being in a relationship is loyalty...and watching porn in my eyes is not being loyal. I asked my bf things about watching porn and stuff and so far that I can assume he hasn't watched it but all I can do is trust. It ***** when its everywhere. Sex is everywhere! Its supposed tonne intimate and private not plastered everywhere.
Ive been through the same porn issues with my husband. It was a friday night and I used his phone to google what time dairy queen was open till so we could take the kids for icecream. Right at the dinner table, up popped porn he'd watched. It was a kick to my self confidence, self esteem and self worth the minute i saw it, so i decided that weekend i was gonna be his own personal "pornstar"....the best damn pornstar hes seen. (My kids spent the weekend at grammas house!) I went out and bought sexy lingerie, lube, i re-dyed my hair, and bought new makeup! The weekend was filled with amazing sex, blowjobs, anal sex (2 nights in a row!) Lap dances, you name it, we did it! he came home from work monday and i had dinner on the table, an open beer in my hand some sexy lingerie on, gave him a ******* right in the middle of the kitchen...any dirty sexual act you could possibly think of i did. Friday to monday of amazing sex! Tuesday night hes sitting next to me on the couch and pulls up his Internet a different porn site came up, he turned his phone off quickly thinking that i didnt see it but i did...HEARTBROKEN I felt! I put soo much effort into giving him anything and everything he wanted and after i saw that i felt i wasnt enough for him. After a full weekend of his wife playing a pornstar he still wanted to watch porn. I was soo hurt i felt like i couldnt even lay next to him i cried myself to sleep for 2 nights. I decided screw it, i was gonna tell him how seeing the porn on his phone made me feel and guess what!...he had enough respect for me to take my feelings into account and not watch it as much anymore! Its really hard to express to them how it makes us feel because they dont understand, to men "its just porn" when i asked my husband why he watched it he said "i donno, ive been watching it since i was 10, its just habbit" he told me he doesnt even satify him self when watching it, usually he watches it while hes taking a dump (weird i know) but it was something he decided to let go of because he loves me!
Im secure w myself and our relationship that I dont mind him watching it. Its fantasy! Jealousy is so ridiculous to me.
He has told u sorry...im sure he's cut back at least..and thats still not good enough. ..u are making it worse by fussing and nagging about it. Ok u dont agree w it and it makes u feel unattractive and he should understand but to have issues over it is going too far. Sometimes u should just be happy w progress he has made to try to make u happy. Men are men. Hes looking not touching and its 2D. Give a little.
No no no!!! Just because some of these woman think its ok that their husbands watch porn, doesn't mean everyone else should accept it too!!! My husband did the same thing when I was pregnant and it made me feel very sad.. I do not like the whole porn crap and nobody should force you to like it.. He should give it up because you are more important..
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