10743983 tn?1440210210

Just want to feel sexy again...

I feel like I'm never going to be able to look past my strechmarks. Never going to see my body any differently then I do now.. I love my daughter, but I have no pride in my body.. I am disgusted by my belly and everything about it. I don't even take my shirt off anymore..

I want to wear sexy lengerie. And just feel sexy, even in normal freaking clothes.

Just feeling defeated by my insecurities.
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Avatar universal
There's nothing prettier than a confident and loving mother. Don't let societies idea of "sexy" make you worry about your own sexiness.

My wife complains so much about her stretch marks. She thinks they stand out so much more than they do. I don't notice them at all, until she starts venting about them. I honestly think she's often worked up about other things and her self image worries spill out with her other collective worries.
I can empathize about going from being fit and able to wear anything, to having to worry about what shows off what when I wear something. However, I took a few years after retiring form the army to get my current shape; whereas mothers go though it all in nine months or much less, depending on how quickly their body starts adjusting to creating a life. It's a big change in such a short amount of time.
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Avatar universal
You're not alone in this, and lots of moms will say things like "you earned those stretch marks" or that you should be proud of what your body can do. And that's true, but it can be irritating to hear when you honestly just feel like crap.

Here's the thing, we all have flabby bellies, unflattering stretch marks, cellulite, bags under our eyes, messy hair, saggy boobs (if you breastfeed). Its just life. Some of us can tone the belly back, eventually we get some sleep and shower and we look a little better. But we're moms now, and even if you get your body to look like it did prior to giving birth, inside its never going to be the same either. We have smaller, loser bladders now, our vaginas are a little different, our hips are a little more noticeable, our hair a little thicker. We have strong arms from totting around our kids, and impervious stomach for cleaning up poop/puke/pee or a combination. We can run on less sleep than we ever thought was possible, and we love more than we ever thought we could.

Yes, its really hard to see our new bodies and be okay with it, I'm still struggling too. Maybe we won't ever be, I don't know. But I do know, that I love the part of me that's a mom. And until I can figure out how to love the rest, well, that parts enough.

Good luck! Try not to beat yourself up too much! Maybe take some much need mommy alone time and get your nails done, or your hair cut. Its amazing how good you can feel after a little pampering (;
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