Low sex-drive during pregnancy

[Jenny77]

I've been reading a lot of pregnancy books and it seems that most women have heightened sexual experiences and higher sex-drive while pregnant.  I am 19 weeks now and I still feel like I rarely want to have sex (just not in the mood). Before I was pregnant I felt like I had a good sex drive, I thought the low drive was just due to the morning sickness I had during my first trimester, but I'm no longer sick but still just don't have that urge like I used to. Has anyone else felt like this while pregnant or am I the only one? Any advice?

[Trentonsmom]

I know exactly what you are saying. Before my husband and i got pregnant with our first child, we had sex pretty much every night and when I got pregnant, it seemed as though all of the desire was lost. I know a lot of it has to do with your hormones being all out of whack while you body is adjusting. I guess it all depends on how your body reacts to the added hormones.  I had my husband do a lot of the same reading I was doing. It gave him a little more understanding as to what my body was going through. Just be patient and ask your husband to do the same. Make sure you have an open line of communication. I know that my husband didn't understand at first why he wasn't "getting any" and I felt guilty because I didn't feel like it.

[Angiconda]

I have experienced the same thing. I think in my case it just dosent seem to be as good and as you get bigger you have to get creative to find a position that works and we just cant seem to find a good position. I beleive it is normal to have a lower sex drive it can go either way. I am sorry I dont have any advice on how to make it better. Good Luck!

[ni-ki]

i just wanted to share my thoughts. When i found out i was pregnant i was 9weeks along already and for the entire 41 weeks i was pregnant i did NOT have sex. My baby is now 18 days old and i still have not had sex. I think i completely lost my sex drive LOL just kidding but i seriously had no desire to have sex while pregnant and even now (still recovering) i don't have the desire. I am sure you will get it back so don't worry

[sweetthing]

HI I am 31weeks pregnant and i dont have a very good sex drive either I believe this is normal I have had 5 pregnancys before and I have never felt this way I believe it will come back after the baby is born good luck!

[blessed06]

I know exactly what you are going through.  I am 19 weeks pregnant and during my 1st trimester, I had a really good sex drive.  For the last 5-6 weeks, I don't even want to kiss or be touched at all.  I was thinking about asking my doctor for some advise, because it has truely taken a toll on my husband. I still find him to be very attractive, but I just "don't be in the mood."  Nothing works.  It has become stressful for me because the more I try to explain to him, the more fustrated he gets.  Any advise someone???

[prettyenough]

i am 32 weeks pregnant and i went through ups and downs sexually. in my first trimester i was uncomfortable everywhere and didnt want sex at all then in the beginning of my 2nd trimester i wanted it all the time and the orgasms were amazing-physically and emotionally. from then to now i am so-so about feeling sexual..if it happens, its nice, if not, then its alright. it gets more uncomfy for me physically which takes a toll whether im "excited" or not. my bf also has a fear that if we have too much sex it will put me into labor. ha. as far as my own feelings go, as i said its been up and down. its hard to answer whether its "normal" or not to have a low sex drive or high sex drive during pregnancy. so much is going on inside of us. however, it is always something you can talk to your doctor about or do research on. hope you feel better.

[Dawnicole]

i am 3 weeks pregnant.  WEll i just found out that i was pregnant about 10 days ago but for the last 2 or 3 weeks i have had absolutely no desire to have sex is this normal. i mean it beginning to be really stressful for me and my boyfriend. anyone have any advice

[ImmortalOne]

3 weeks late for your period?  or 3 weeks since your last period?

[apaulinaria]

I am 14 weeks pregnant and I have had no sex drive since I got pregnant.  Nothing turns me on anymore. I think it could be your body saying "He got you pregnant, and now you're changing in a drastic way.  Why would you want him to make you go through that again?"  I guess it's kind of a joke, but you never know...  Like your body knowing that being attracted to him and turned on by him (or by man/anything) is what caused the nausea and whatnot, and then having a natural aversion to him.  After you get wasted, do you want to drink the next day, or does your stomach turn if you even think about drinking?  But luckily, it goes away after a while because you "forget" how "bad" it was and so does your body...

[megamom19]

I'm haven a baby and im 36 weeks along an i feel as if i have sex drive at all
it's not that my husbands not good or anything it's just i can't bring myself to want it as much and i think he feels like it's him but really it's just i can't bring myself to want it as much as i use to and trust me i husband looks good in every way there is his bodys banging and his parts are fine to lol
but i need help getting this sex drive back before i have no one to get it back for!!!!!!!! please help please

[sad951]

I have the same problem.. is it even a problem? It seems to be a normal situation. Although I'm not having a great experience with my husband about it. He has been so mean to me, he makes me cry all the time because I'm not in the mood telling me I'm not in love with him anymore and how he doesn't feel the marriage is going to work if this no sex desire continues... I'm sad just typing about it...

[Tattyana]

I am 17 week along and not sexual desire. My husband has started to complain. He says to be worried that I don't love him any more. My firt trimestrer was a nightmare! I had a lot of nauseas, vomiting and heart burn. I had very difficult time sleeping. My sensitivity to any kind of odor or scents was a trigger to all this as well. I used to wake up in the middle of the night go to the washroom and return to find that my husband's odor bothered me. I am very sad about all this and feel very guilty even when my doctor told me is okay. I want to go back to what I had with my husband. Some times I wonder if I will ever be myself again.

[mamom15]

I know exactly what you mean.  I am 35+ weeks and I don't remember the last time I felt desire.  I made DH change his soap and shampoo cuz like you I an sensitive to odor.  Nothing helps other than the fact that I want to throw up all the time.  I don't think I iwll ever be the same again.  I think DH's [arts are black by now out of disuse - LOL

[cuteness3]

you have had 5 pregnancys were they girls or boys because i ws told that on boys women have high sex drive and low on girls did you find this?

[knowbdysbisnis]

Just know that it is perfectly normal if you have a low sex drive during pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with you. If you have a partner that cannot understand this and is making  you feel guilty, they are the problem. The partner should be understanding. There are many changes going through your body that you have no control over. So if your partner is basing your entire relationship over this temporary set back, they are ignorant and selfish.

[sansann]

I'm about 16 weeks pregnant, and my sex drive is ZERO. I even dread being touched or kissed by my husband. I dread going to bed and waking up in the middle of the night by him trying to get some. I can't remember the lasat time I had an orgasm. And when I let him try, I'm so dry down there, even when he touches it or tries everything; right now, I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with no sex, and that will not bother me at all, but my poor husband is suffering. He told me he could not live without sex. Last night he tried and I kept pushing him away, he took it personnally, and got so mad this morning. I can see the lack of sex cannot help him focus. He let the faucet on in the bathroom and when I pointed it out to him, he didn't even care turning it off!!
I feel so bad for him. But at the same time, I would feel violated if I let him do his thing.
Cannot wait to have the baby so everything can be back to normal.

[TDKeller]

Im having all of the very same problems as most everyone here!!! This is our second child and EVERYTHING has been completely different from the first one!! I dont understand how my interest in sex can just vanish?? I have been getting very frusterated with myself because i feel like its my fault! I know its not but its still hard. Luckily my husband is an extremely understanding person and he would wait the rest of this pregnancy( Im 19 weeks) and longer if i really didnt want to. Right now I just let him do "his thing" i guess because i do feel bad that nothing he does entices me anymore, I just feel so horrible because he cant "turn me on" or evoke any sort of physical response from me!!  Im starting to question if its me or with the way Im feeling is this lack of sex drive making me lose my feelings for my husband???!!! Help!!

[mamabear7210]

this is my second pregnancy and i have completly lost my drive as well. Very different from my first pregnancy where i enjoyed sex alot! its been so bad this time around that its not just my husband suffering but i cant even get myself off! i let him do his thing about once every 3-5 wks but i feel bad that i cant get into it. it seems that this is all pretty normal but idk about the whole all by myself thing, maybe thats just me... any suggestions?

[sillyyy]

I am 8 weeks 2 days pregnant. I feel like I have lost my Sex drive completely. Idk what to do to get it back . Im not turned on ever and always sick to my stomach and miserable :( :( I feel bad for bf I know its not his fault . I just feel so bad ideas anyone ?

[sillyyy]

I have read a lot about sex drive and pregnancy and I agree with you it does seem normal to loose your sex drive. The only advice I van really give cuz I wish I knew more myself but is to explain to ur husband it's just ur hormones n many ppl feel same way such as myself good luck n I'm sure itll be normal after baby.:) good luck again.

[Simmom2001]

I am 22 weeks and I have no desire to have sex. I am tired. I work full time nights as a nurse, we have two kids already 12 and 13, and then there is this house to take care of, top that off with being big as a house pregnant and who could blame me. I do realize my husband has needs and we have discussed my lack of interest which has nothing to do with him. So we have compromised--he still gets something 2 to 3 days a week but if I am sleeping he leaves me alone. I keep reading about thie "heightened sex drive in pregnancy" but it seems to have skipped over me.

[CIAMom83]

I know what you ladies are saying I feel like I don't have a sexual drive like I used to.  But at the same time I do want "it" and I think it is just because I want the attention.  Attention may not be the right word affection might be a better word.  I have tried everything to get things going just to get myself in the mood when we have the time and sometimes nothing will work.

[Suffering_Husband]

How about a darn solution?

All I hear is you preg women saying how you lost your sex drive.... I want to hear some answers....

Sex drive or no sex drive, women don't be foolish, unless its physically painful for you to have sex, if you want your marriage to stay strong, you need to show your husbands love and give them what they need, emotionally and physically.

Suffering Husband

[Lwood0304]

There should be a commitment to a strong and healthy marriage on both sides. Yes, maybe us pregnant women could seek to care for the needs of our husbands more so, but, there should be a desire for the husband just as much to seek to care for the needs of  his beloved wife as well. Having a child isn't easy for anyone, it took both people to create a wonderful blessing of a baby, so both need to care for each other working as a team during the pregnancy and after as well!
Both sides can learn to sacrifice for the other just a little more!