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Ranting (mother-in-law/sister-in-law)

Sorry I'm ranting.
I have a 4 month old. I recently found out he has a hernia by his growing area and has to go for surgery. My husband told his mom and she told my husbands sister. I got a text from his sister saying how I'm a bad parent that i wasn't taking the "right" precautions during pregnancy and now i have caused my sons health. So i called his mom to tell her not to tell her daughter anything about my kids or what's happening in our life. And his mothers remark was "I can tell my daughter anything i want. And babies who get hernia's are not healthy babies so maybe she's right I'll set up an appointment for you to take parenting classes" (i have a 5 year old baby and i know everything i need to know such as babies get hernia's for all sorts of reasons.

EXAMPLE::
My dad had 2  hernias and my brothet has 2.  One of my dads was when he was a baby and was crying to much (as a baby) and the other was from him working and he lifted to much and got one (working at about 273-24th). One of my brothers we cause from a unbiblical cord and the other was from crying to much (both as a baby).
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13167 tn?1327194124
Cassi sometimes relationships are so ruined that you probably shouldn't sweat the small stuff.

Since your relationship with his family is so bad that you've had to take legal action to keep some of them away, I'm not sure if it's worth worrying that one of them says your baby has a hernia because of bad mothering.  It's all rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, as they say.

It's not worth pursuing.

Best wishes.
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Avatar universal
I cant talk to the sister-in-law cause i have a restraining order on her for harassment and she also put my 5 year old in harms way.

And my husband's sister is mad at him cause she hates me ever since him and i went out 2 years and then we threw her over the edge when we eloped. So theres that and more stuff about his mother
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13167 tn?1327194124
It sounds like this didn't just start with the hernia - it sounds like this fight was a long,  long time coming.

I think anyone (your sister in law,  MIL) can quickly google a baby hernia and realize it doesn't come from bad parenting.  

It sounds like they're angry at you or your husband for something else and just latched on to this hermia thing as an excuse to say hostile things.

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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, here is my take on it.  I think it was not the right thing to do to call your mother in law and tell her to not tell her daughter anything.  That sure puts her in an awkward position and I'm sure made her very defensive.  

A better way to handle things would be to go to the source-----  the sister in law.  What she said was unkind and I'm sure really hurtful to you.  Tell HER.  Tell her that your doctor assures you that lots of things cause this and it has nothing to do with parenting and perhaps she might benefit from getting educated.  Certainly she should look something up before she dumps on someone.  And you would appreciate it if she didn't get involved from this point on.  

Then if your mother in law says something, you can tell her that it is between you and her daughter and that you didn't appreciate her unkind words to you.  Period.

Much better than having a big rift where everyone is mad and picking sides.  

Look up some information and pass it on to them.  My info says it can occur in low weight babies which isn't your fault unless you smoked or something during pregnancy.   But hardly bad parenting involved.  the other type of hernia involved is about fluid in the area.  

Anyway, your sister in law was rude and now you've made this about your mother in law too.  Ugh.  war in families isn't a good thing.  I think you backed your mother in law into a corner and made her defensive so she lashed out.  I'd give her another chance.  And be sure to set your sister in law straight.
What does your partner say about this?
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Avatar universal
That's a load of crap my niece was born with a hernia in her belly button the midwife said it can happy my sister wasn't at fault and im sure you wasn't to.  They need to stop being so petty your bubba might have strained thereself.  Don't worry just ignore them x
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Avatar universal
Ignore them mommy, they are miserable. Don't play into that just do what you need to for your child.
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Avatar universal
I tried calling my husband he's out of town with no service so I'm on my own. And i have them blocked now but they call my house phone.
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Avatar universal
Don't listen to them momma and yes I agree with the above comment just block them from calling you and cut off communication with them and let your husband know how you feel and how they are making you feel he should stand up for you because I'm sure he knows that the bay didn't get a hernia because of you they can get one easily from crying a lot just think about your babies and forget what they have to say they don't support you guys anyways so there 2 cents worth opinion shouldn't matter :) God bless you
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Avatar universal
Dont tell your MIL anything, talk to your husband and tell him what they said, how you feel, you are in no way at fault, they are ignorant to what causes hernias, dont stress over them, block them from your cell and continue being the great mom you are .God bless you and your family
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Avatar universal
Bump...
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13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
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