Should I include my baby daddy?

[chrystazmomii4415]

The father of my little girl went to prison in October & I haven't spoke to him in months but suddenly his family are getting in contact w/ me wanting me to put money on a phone account to talk 2 him. I grew up w/o a father & my lil girl is gonna be here on monday but here's the kicker: he's in jail for sex offenses against his 10 yr old little cousin. Not only that when he writes he doesn't ask how the baby is doing just talks about missing sex with me and the party he's gonna throw when he comes home. He hasn't ask if I need diapers and I haven't wrote him back but he could've got his mom 2 get something everything I have acquired for my little girl has come from my friends & family, what if I allow him 2 be around her & he touches her innapropriately? How can I live with myself if I know i could've prevented it? So basically I'm asking all of you what you would do this is an impossible decision to make but a crucial one.

[chrystazmomii4415]

i was also messed with when I was young by my 1st stepfather and that's the reason I haven't been in contact w/ him for so long. I was living w/ him when a probation officer showed up & thats how I found out. I came home and they told me it was a 16 yr old but when I searched him online the victim was listed as under 11 & I found out I was pregnant. I honestly wished I had been the type of girl 2 not be sure of the father, that I had slept around but we know it's his. My mother never new my real father but I actually already knew I shouldn't, I just feel a little bit better about myself knowing that other mothers would make the same decision. It's so hard b/c after all I went through when I was little (i was 3 when my abuse started, ending when I was 5) I thought I would recognize this type of person. But I screwed up & shared my bed w/ a monster the only thing is I'm not the only one paying 4 this mistake. Luckily he got 4 years and will have to serve at least 26 months, so I have about 20 months left b4 it's even an issue

[italiamamii1]

Dumb auto correct

[derbymomma123]

my vote is No.

[RheaAnn2]

Absolutely not! It may suck to think she will be mad at you one day for it but protecting her is more important. She would be very angry with you if you put her in a situation like that. You will never be able to trust him. He clearly has no remorse for what he did, so that says he has no problem doing it again. And even if he did they are known to be repeat offenders. I would cut off all contact with him and his family.

[italiamamii1]

You shouldn't even be questioning it are you seriously right now no offense but you should stay away from him and his family that is discussing I would get an order of protection this really discussed me why are woman so nieve
You should take more pride in yourself

[sophia1250]

Absolutely not... My daughter was victim from the hands of my husbands step brother. And it's not something I would wish on anyone. We found out after he victimised my daughter that he was involved in doing several other very bad things to other family members. If I would have known what I knew before he victimised my daughter, he would have never been allowed at my house and or around my family period. You know he is a bad person. Most of the time rapist/ molesters go for the easiest victims which r the victims that r close to them. So why put yr child around someone who could hurt her and why would you want to even be around a person like that. People like that don't change they just don't always have the opportunity to hurt another victim. Why give him a chance to hurt yr child.

[specialmom]

Why are you communicating with him?  he's a pedafile.  He had sexual contact with a 10 year old!!  His cousin!!  I would write him off completely and never speak to him again.  Lost his parenting rights. ANY court would take away ANY visitation rights from a convicted child molester.  He will have trouble getting a job, he will have trouble finding housing, he has a big X on him for the rest of his life because he as an adult molested a child.  I can google people like him that live in a 10 mile radius from my home right now and their picture and crime pop up.  That's what everyone will see about this person for the rest of his life.  

So, NO.  Go on about your life and forget you ever knew him.  good luck

[brsndta04]

I wouldn't.  I totally understand wanting your baby to have a father but someday the perfect guy for that role will come into your life. A father is who raises a child not who gives sperms to make it.

I was raped as a child by a family member from when I was young to early puberty.  He is in jail and has been since I was 14. However it messes you up. I still have to see therapists twice a month and I'm 22. It happened 8 years ago and immediately still effected dailu.

Don't risk putting your baby through my hell

[dremarie13]

But i would definitely say that their time together should be 100% supervised  until you can 100% trust him. Good luck

[dremarie13]

I don't know what i would do if i wad in your situation but im sure it's something your thinking about a lot. I think the best thing for you to do is talk to close family and friends and get their thoughts and opinions and if you do talk to his family i think you should let them know how your feeling. But at the end the decision is yours and whatever it is i can tell your just thinking of your baby girl and you feel like your doing what's best for her whatever you decide in the future

[kHz721]

No darling definitely not. You can speak to your doctor or a counciller and they can advice you of how to deal with this in relation to your daughter.   She won't ask about him for many years yet so you have time.   Pray to god and ask him to show you exactly how to deal with this.

Please tell his family that you are having no part of this for your daughters safety and seek legal advice if it goes any further.

Please please please don't take A SINGLE RISK

Sexual predators go way further than you'll ever realise.  Trust me.... Stay completely away hun.....
May God send angels and Always be with you

[Taili2010]

You can't blame yourself For having sex with him and getting pregnant by him and Then finding out He did What He did to his cousin, So definitely Don't feel guilty For That, not your fault He did That Or That u didn't know about ahead of time (At least I assume) BUT He Is a pedophile,  a sex offender, a monster.  Yes Some people deserves second chances and stuff But in a situation like this I Don't believe people can Just stop being a oenophile. They knew in The beginning What They did was wrong, It's not like robbing a store Or selling drugs where The initial act isn't hurting anyone But Is still against The law. He scarred That ten yr old For life. And It was family.  Who knows What else He has done and gotten away with So far. Just Because your daughter Is his child does not mean He can be trusted with her. He's sick in The head. And If He hasn't Even asked and Is only talking about sex with You and throwing a party Then clearly That's All He cares about. Sex. As a mother It Is your job to protect your child At any costs. Knowing about What He's done should Tell you what kind of a person He Is and You should be able to tell your self If You want That kind of person around your daughter.  Im not completely sure But I do believe That If He's a registered sex offender and If He's got That kind of charge against him That He wouldn't be allowed around her alone anyways and possibly not At All. I mean having him in her life Is your choice But I Don't think It would be right At All. She's better off knowing That her father Is a bad man That She doesn't need to know and be safe from him Then to have him in her life with The possibility That He will hurt her.

[brkness]

I think u already no the answer to this or u wouldnt be asking. The last thing u wrote should already confirm how u must be feeling. And you deal with your child asking those questions when you get to that point, ur thinking to far ahead. One thing at a time mama

[Allocate]

My 6 month olds bio dad is a drug addict and an alcoholic. She will never know him, if she ever asks than my fiance and I will explain to her. She will understand. You are doing whats best for her. Considering what he did to his 10 year old cousin he should not be around his own daughter or any other kids for that matter

[chrystazmomii4415]

Thats what Ive been doing & planned 2 do the only fear I have is she will ask about her daddy & may hate me or not be able 2 understand if I tell her the truth about what he is & why I didn't allow him 2 be around

[Allocate]

Flat out no