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Avatar universal

Venting..

So me and my man fight almost everyday due to his drug addiction that i can't stand at all and i hate it so much because no matter how many times i tell him to stop he won't he's just so careless and selfish. I feel like he puts me through so much stress, ever since i found out im pregnant it's been like this nothing but fights and problems, i be letting my anger take over me to the point where I can't control myself and i hate it so much cause I'm hurting my baby by making it feel what i feel, this is my 2nd baby and i haven't enjoy this pregnancy at all sad to say, i love my baby so much it was unexpected i wasn't ready for it but i know it's a blessing it just ***** to know that his/her daddy won't change at all I'm almost due but i never felt this stressed in my life, idk what to do anymore I'm really thinking about leaving him even tho it would hurt me so much cause i love him but he just don't care as much as he says he does his f****** addiction is destroying our family and he's not doing anything to change it, he has everything going good for himself we recently got an apt, car, he has a good job but seems like it's nothing to him he's not appreciating anything at all he puts others but mainly his drugs before me and the babies and seriously I'm tired of it i just wanna walk away.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ah, honey.  This is so hard.  You absolutely can not have a good or normal relationship with someone that is currently addicted to something (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.).  The reason is that they are sick.  They put their drug of choice over and above everything else.  They will lie, cheat and steal to feed their addiction.  

This is painful.  But living with an active addict is not healthy.  I would go to Al Anon.  I would move to someplace where he isn't (parents, a friend or on your own if you can afford it) and tell him that you WANT desperately to be with him but he has to be clean.  Get clean, and you will be back.

If you can't do that, then you must consider yourself codependent.  And again, Al Anon will help.  they'll teach how to set safe boundaries.  Because it just can't ever be normal until he gets clean.  And often, people around an addict know they need to get clean long before the addict admits it.  It often takes bad things to happen to get through to the addict.  YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF!

Did you go to school?  If you didn't, please consider college or trade school so that you can get a good job yourself to support yourself in the event that you have to.  Not having income is probably the number one reason many women stay in bad situations.  If you choose to stay with him now ---  set yourself up for a back up plan by getting educated so that you CAN support yourself and your child if you need to.  Paralegal, for example, doesn't take that long, isn't that expensive and pays pretty well once done with school.  But really, anything you want to do, pursue it now.  

I am here to chat with you any time hon.  hugs
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st. louis, MO
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
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