Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
12476392 tn?1433685731

Would you ladies be hurt if. .

Your boyfriend went to take maternity pictures with his baby's mom? My baby's dad has a gf and we talked about him being in the pictures a long time ago and the time has come. He still wants to be in them, so I asked if he thinks he should talk to his gf about it and he said, "no that she can't tell him he can't do something for his baby. That it's for him so he'll have a picture of mommy and daddy." I just don't want to cause any problems and wondered others thoughts on this situation.
18 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sweetie.  I get why you did it myself.  This is for your child.  :>)  If maternity pictures feel complete with both of you in it, then that is it.  That's for you to decide.  If he has issues with his girlfriend over his choices he makes as a father, then that is HIS situation to deal with.  He said he was interested in when you took the pictures and you told him.  That's all you did. Allowed him to be in the pics if he wanted to be.  SO, he made the choice.  You didn't beg him to go.  

HE will need to learn to deal with his girlfriends if jealousy arises over his spending time with the baby.  It's hard because she may sense you still have feelings for him.  But that isn't something to worry about.  You are just professional and business like with your ex and coparent and she can look super jealous and overreact if she wants to.

It's really not for anyone else to say if the pics are a good idea or not as that wasn't your question.  But rather if you should be concerned about his current girlfriend's feelings over it.  You are sweet to have that concern hon.  That says a lot about you.  But HE said all you need to hear---  he will do as he needs to do for his child no matter what flack she gives him.  And let's hope that continues for the sake of your child.  Lots of girlfriends get jealous and put up a road block to someone being in their child's life due to their own issues which is unfortunate for the child.  I hope he's with a mature woman that understands that it is about the baby.  

Hang in there sweetie.  good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm with Rock on this one. What's the point of taking a picture of a relationship that has already been over, practically since you found out you were pregnant? Take your own pictures of yourself and leave him out of it. He's already moved on and you should too.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
I guess the big idea here,  is you're kind of trying to recreate history in a photograph of a relationship that doesn't exist.

Like photoshopping someone into a family vacation photo who wasn't there.

i think a picture of you two appearing to be together as a loving couple,  when you aren't,  would create a lot more confusion and questions than if you didn't bother to take a picture of something that doesn't exist.

Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
The problem here that makes this so difficult is there aren't any real boundaries.

He got you pregnant and left before the baby was even born,  so it's hard to tell what that relationship was,  specifically.

Now,  he's already got another woman that he's in still another "undefined" relationship with.  

Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz said,  "goodness people come and go so quickly here".  
Helpful - 0
10531551 tn?1412176460
You shouldn't worry, if he's up for it then go ahead. You don't want your child to grow up and later on say " I wish I had a picture of mommy and daddy while I was in mommy's belly". Of course there will be birthdays but at least have one maternity photo of yall together. It's for the baby, and the new gf has to learn to accept the fact that your baby daddy will still be part of your and the baby's life.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Do the pictures with him she is well aware that you two are having a baby unfortunately  for her this is just the beginning of many things you two are going to have to do together for this baby.
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
They are maternity pictures I don't think it'd be normal correct her to be in one lol
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You've given the option and you're not making him do it if he wants to then thats his decision its not something u can decide for him. And if it does have repercussions within his relationship thats not your fault as he's the one that is making the choice.  I personally think the photo is a good idea and if u think the current  gf might have a problem see if she would like to be in one or two.  If she sticks around she will be part of your childs life to after all.
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
I think it is very nice of him too now well see if he actually comes when picture day gets here :/ I feel like words mean nothing anymore.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree that the chances of this girl being around in a few years is probably slim. They can't have been together that long if your still pregnant and you guys were together. I think if he isn't worried then you shouldn't be. I think it's nice that he's thinking ahead for his baby and putting that first, not all guys would.
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
I want him to still be able to be around and be there for me too and to feel baby as he grows and be involved with baby as much as he wants to be. I just don't want to do anything that would be wrong. it's such a big thing I don't want to just say no because it's not fair to your gf or whatever either you know
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would do it you have to put that baby first not a girl that probably wont be there for long.. If my huaband and I ever got a divorce we'll still take picture's and hia family will still be considered family to me.. So do whatever makes you feel comfortable and what you think is right for your baby. Good luck :)
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
We don't have any together I don't like taking pictures unless they're professional ones or silly selfies.. sounds silly but true lol
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its a picture  your  baby will have for life. Who knows if ur ex will ever last with this woman.. itll be good if they do dont get me wrong but you never know. Your baby will forever have u two as parents.
Helpful - 0
11356079 tn?1421357818
I have pictures with my child's father that I will put in his baby book. They aren't professional pictures, but I think that it can be important for a child to see that their parents were at least, once together and in love. Do you have a photo of the two of you already that you can put in the baby book?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand it could hurt her hun but id be thinking of the baby. This woman knew you were pregnant so she will have to just deal with it.. i come from a very split family and would do anything to have a picture of me with my mum and dad.
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
I feel like it will hurt her because I know it would hurt me, the last thing I want to do is hurt her or cause problems. I think it's a good idea if he talks to her first but he said no.. am I in the wrong?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't think it's a good idea. Speaking from the "girlfriend" side, I came in the picture when my now husband had a 9 month old with his ex. This baby will have no recollection of you two together. I think once the baby is born you guys could take separate photos with the baby.
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Relationships Community

Top Pregnancy Answerers
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.