confused/rant

[buttercup1991]

Ok I live with my boyfriend and his mom  two kids her husband and my bfs brothers and lately I've felt a lot of tension in the house ...Well recently my bf and his mom were talking and I came up and she became angry from the results of he argument...the thing is I'm a ftm and after I have my baby I will be going to my cousins so I can get help..with all the people in the house I think its the best decision but she feels as though I think they are better than she is but that's not the case I just know that since they all work I most definitely won't be able to get a routine nor help..and my bf is upset now because she's mad but I don't understand why...throughout this pregnancy she really hasn't done anything to help so what makes her think she's gonna be able to help after I given birth and she leaves for work at 4 am?  I'm confused!! And because my bf is upset is confusing also so if anyone can give a lil support or explain the problem I'd greatly appreciate it..this is stressing me out...only 22 more days and now this Smh

[specialmom]

Hi here.  I want to first tell you that I know it is scary being a first time mom but in all honesty, it is not 'that' hard hon.  The first week or two, it is nice to have someone that can hold the baby for you while you take a shower and things like that but overall, it's kind of like baby wants mama so it's really all you no matter who is there---  especially if breast feeding.  and in all honesty, setting a routine is EASIER with those in the house are out working because them you can conduct the day as you see fit and mold baby's routine to how you want it rather than other people in the house.  

When I had my first baby, my husband took two weeks off of work and then it was just me and baby.  It was nice.  Newborns sleep a lot.  It honestly was much better than what I pictured.  You'll be good.

So, you can move or not.  But if it is because you'll generally be more comfortable and feel better supported, that is a good reason.  If it is to set a routine, probably won't be better at the new place

Is your boyfriend going with you?  Any chance of you two getting your OWN place soon?  

[buttercup1991]

Sorry if I sound like a lil kid please bear with me it's a lot to take in combined with knowing I could go into labor pretty soon

[buttercup1991]

Alexis I tried that and she still didn't understand Smh she kept saying the same things over and over..you can get a routine here mother instincts come natural etc but she fails to realize this is new she had support around her..my mom is in a different state so that makes it worse

[buttercup1991]

Xo I wish you all the luck!!

[buttercup1991]

Oh wow shasta first off 94 degrees I'd die..my bfs mom keeps it 60 and by me being anemic I freeze I don't understand why she feels that way he's a grown man she should be more supportive...that just gave me a flashback from when I told her that we were looking for a place and she basically told me he wasn't going anywhere Smh

[buttercup1991]

Thanks ladies....and to answer your questions bt me being a ftm I'm scared and want to make sure I have a set routine plus with everyone working here Ik it would be harder for me to ask questions if something is wrong or if I don't know what to do about certain things...I love my bf dearly but honestly his step dad takes care of his other two kids (11,9) so I just don't know what to think about what he will do with this one..especially by her being a girl..the other two are boys

[RockRose]

Maybe the first question to sort out is,  why do you need help?  What help do you need?  If you're a couple,  why do you need help?

I'm just trying to sort this all out,  not being judgmental  

[shastayoung]

Im in the exact same boat its tough. You dont want ur bf upset but living in that environment wont be healthy. My mil is really insane she keeps the house 94 degrees refuses to have anything to do with our 5 month old and hit my car with a shovel all bcuz i wanted to move out and my bf is upset at me bcuz his mom claims shes a victim and he is abandoning her which aibt true. My advice leave.

[xojensen_]

It's really up to you. She can't be upset she should understand. I'm a ftm just me and my boyfriend in our house. His mom and sister don't talk to me and he tattoos so I'll be a stay at home mom but I'm literally scared of doing it all alone, we have four dogs as well and I just don't understand how I'm going to do it. Keeping up with a new born, cleaning, laundry, cooking. I'm terrified I wish I could ask for help. Obviously my bf will help when he can but for the most part I'll be doing it alone. Take all the help you can get seriously.

[alexis444]

Its your decision if she gets mad oh well she won't be there to help you. Try explaining that to her she should understand how hard it is to be a ftm without any support

[buttercup1991]

Excuse the typos :)