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Avatar universal

has anyone felt you way.

I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.  He doesn't show me enough attention.  All he does is work.  He has two jobs so I'm alone most of the time.  I've tried to stick it out but now I'm kinda fed up. I'm done talking and saying how I feel. He leaves at 5:30am and back in the house at 11:00am 7 days a week. Than when he gets home he wanna cuddle and sleep. I can't do this anymore.  I'm 36 week's today 24 years old & he's 29 and I'm done crying ):
24 Responses
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Avatar universal
It could've been worse, you could've been stuck instead with a deadbeat loser who refuses to work and provide for his family, like so many, many other girls who post on here. But you're one of the lucky ones who has a guy that actually has a job and is working and therefore will be able to be a good provider for his family. Breaking up with a guy like that would be extremely foolish, especially if that's your only complaint about him is that he works "too much". If you break up with him I'm sure you'll just end up with a deadbeat loser and you'll be the only one working while also having to be 100% responsible for the kiddo and your life will get so much worse.

The bottom line is, if you're lucky enough to find a guy who has a good work ethic and who is willing and able to financially support the kid(s) that he helped make then he's a keeper. As long as he's not abusive or addicted to illegal substances, in which case the previous does not apply, obviously.
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11446880 tn?1442927720
Have a great day!!
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Avatar universal
That's a great idea.
  Omg I'm gonna do that tomorrow lol. I can't wait. And yes I will post when she arrives.  Thank you so much for your kind words.
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11446880 tn?1442927720
Go sneak into his work truck on his lunch hours.. Lol get him all worked up being spontaneous haha. Im only reaching my second trimester i still have a ways to wait :( but enjoying it while this journey lasts! Make sure you make a post when she arrives!
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Avatar universal
Lol yes it helped so much lol
   && yes if he give me some he can leave all he wants lol. Girl you got me smiling rite now. Can't wait to meet my baby girl
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11446880 tn?1442927720
That man better buckle down and give his lady some sex LOL!!!! Im glad that all of our opinions put together helped you a bit in this situation! Few more weeks and your babe will be here!!!
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Avatar universal
Thank you ladies. Yeah it was just a  misunderstanding. I really love him and our relationship. I just felt like if I wasn't sitting up all types of nights waiting for him it would be better. Honestly I couldn't see my self without him.

   I just want some us time you know. Lol and I need sex lol. But you ladies have made me see that it's for the best. I will respect his wishes and stick it out. Thank you so much ladies
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I apologize for any wrong assumptions made by me.  I was just trying to help.  Sometimes when someone works long hours to make necessary income, it helps to think about how the two people can add to their income with less hours which is often job training and such.  It really wasn't meant to be more than that---  problem solving for how he can work less hours and be home more.  

I've been through this with my husband. It's hard when he travels for work.  What helped me was trying to see it from his point of view.  It's not easy on him either.  And that kind of gave me the ability to remain supportive and look for things we can do so that he is around more.  

Again, I meant no disrespect and was trying to help.  good luck
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Avatar universal
I understand where you come from but it no reason to feel like you need to break up. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years,  we have a 4 year old together and have been together since I was 15. He works 7 days a week, 12-16 hour nights. He has been working like this for almost a year, but he has worked nights since he started this job 5 years ago. Yes it stinks and you get lonely and feel like you have no help at times. When I work we go a week or more with out seeing each other. But you need to remember it is in the best interest of your family. And if it really bothers you then it is something that you two need to sit down and talk about and try to find a way to compromise or find something that will work with you. I hope that everything works out for you.
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Avatar universal
You said I'm thinking not I feel like....and I can't do this anymore also played into it. Hormones or not you really need to give it some serious throught because it could be skmethjng you seriously regret later
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Avatar universal
Not you honey.
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11446880 tn?1442927720
I commented because i am experiencing it! I am pregnant and like i said my husband works 17 hour days! So i know how it feels!
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Avatar universal
@emaleejay ok I will talk to him again tonight. Like today he didn't have to work but he went anyway. We live together and I pay the rent and he pays for everything else like car and cable and food. It hurts that most of the time I have to go to doctors appointment alone. He always says he's working cause he eats to buy a house and help pay off some of our school loans. I respect that but hey what's a a girl supposed to do lol. He's such a great guy. I think me venting has made me feel a little better and know he's just doing it for us. Thank you for your kind words and being  gentle With Me While I'm Already Hurting (:
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Avatar universal
I get the needing daddy home 100% that's something me and my boyfriend are struggling with and have been for months, but I'm finally starting to make the hard adjustment and just thinking it'll be temporary. Maybe sit down and talk to him to see maybe if he could (if it works financially) downsize to one job for the family and tell him about the possibility of missing many firsts.
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Avatar universal
Yeah hopefully he does.
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Avatar universal
Okay so don't assume we didn't go to college or I'm not working. I asked has anyone ever felt like this. If you didn't feel how I have felt or experienced it. Than you shouldn't comment. How can you speak on something you haven't been through
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11446880 tn?1442927720
Hopefully after your baby comes he will take those days off that he doesnt have to work! If he doesnt.. Then theres a problem lol.
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11446880 tn?1442927720
I dont think anyone tried to offend out here, we just did not get the full story. But either way you asked for opnions! And i belive that especially after you said he loves to work and he makes alot of money, he has a very good job in contruction i would allow him to continue making a living. If you have been together for 6 years leaving him for wanting to provide for you is selfish(not trying to be rude just my own opinion) My husband works 17 hour days from 430am until dark and i wouldnt have it any other way. It is way better then having to struggle to make ends meet,  to find a hard working and dedicated man these days is very hard i would be am i am so incredibly thankful!!! But i hope it all works out for you two and congrats on your son!
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Avatar universal
@emaleejay thank you that was the most respectful I've read so far and yeah I'm in the same boat also. The days he doesn't have to work he does. It's aggravating cause I went to college after him so I was always busy and working but I made time for him. It's been this way for a long time. I love him more than anything in this world but in need support.  I'm gonna be a Ftm and I need daddy home to.
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Avatar universal
Why would you assume he didn't go to college. He graduated a year ago smh does  construction in drive trucks. He makes alot of money. He's jamaican and just loves to work. Please don't assume I don't have a job or we didn't finish school.
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Avatar universal
I never said I didn't have a job. I'm a manager at amazon and I'm on Maternity leave I am 36 week's.  I've worked Snice I was 16 years old we've been together for almost 6 years. I work very hard.
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11446880 tn?1442927720
I agree with the first comment, you should be thankful that your boyfriend cares to have two jobs to provide for you and your baby that will be here soon. If he worked just one job, would you have enough for diapers wipes bottles and everything else? Or would you be willing to get a job so he only has to work one? I think it is attractive and very mature of him to be working enough to provide for him family i think that alone is showing you attention, showing you that you are inportant to him and he will sacrifice his down time and free time so that you have a house and food and your baby has all the essentials it needs. I do not think that is a reason to break up. That is a reason to hold him closer and love him more. You have a good man. I wouldnt let him go. You need that kind of security with a family.
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Avatar universal
My boyfriend works 2-1am and then wakes up at 10 and does it all I've again, I find it so irritating 99.9% of the time because we have a 5 month old... He works Saturday's which are optional and sometimes stays until 4am which is also optional but when it boils down to it, I only work minimal hours and we have our own place so we do need the money... Yeah, I would love all the attention and time in the world but he's doing it for us, not to just ignore me. I know when I was born my parents actually worked complete opposite shifts to save the cost of daycare which meant they never saw each other. I know it's hard mama, but think of the benefits and maybe sit down and talk to him when you can... More than likely he has his family in mind, some men are like that.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there.  Well, hon, I have to ask, do you guys or he need the money?  In a day in age in which work ethic is so often lacking, I have to admire a man who does what it takes to have a decent income.  It does mean a sacrifice for sure but hopefully not forever.  I'm not sure this is a reason to break up with someone, because they work too hard and such long hours.  Instead, you can do something like find a job too so that he can maybe not have to work as many hours, encourage him to perhaps do some kind of training or go to a trade school (often tuition is covered and paid for through grants) so that his hours are spent with a higher amount paid and therefore, he doesn't have to work as many.

My husband has an international job and therefore travels a good deal.  sometimes he is gone for almost two weeks at a time out of the country.  But it is his job and it is what pays for our house, our car, food, etc.  So, I really focus on HIM and how he must feel and being supportive.  I try to make it easy on him because he is really doing a great thing to make money for his family.

So, think if there are ways you can boost your income so he doesn't have to work as many hours (your working, you or he going to school and getting training to earn a higher income so you make more the hours either of you are at work, etc.).

good luck.  
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