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inlaw problems

Hi im having an issue with my husbands mother shes been really horrible towards me and has been going around to people saying bad things about me.. im usually not one to care about what other people think and the pety things they say about me but its been on my mind lately as what to do when my baby boy is born.. im 34weeks tomorrow and have pre eclampsia and almost at the point of having gestational diabetes. I don't want to say to her no I don't want you near my baby because of how you've treated me and things you said about me because it is her grandson but on the other hand it is my son and I only want best for him and atm I don't want her to have anything to do with him because of all the crap :/ would love to hear any advice any of you may have or any experiences that are similar to what im going thru and how it was best resolved :)
11 Responses
5098230 tn?1430974779
Your a mother that only wants best for her son? I'm sure she feels the same way.
Avatar universal
Hi babe, I'm Having the same problems but with my two step sisters. They have been saying extremely horrible things about me being my back (extremely horrible!) So I've told them both I want nothing to do with each of them and the only time they will see my son is when he is with my dad or stepmother. I haven't fully stopped them seeing my son because they are his aunties but while he is with me i don't want them around!  
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^^^ so being mean to her daughter in law is making sure she's doing the best for her son??
Avatar universal
i have a monster inlaw too she is a narsasis and caused alot of problems for me.... my advice is to stay away from problems with ur husband let her see ur son... ur problem with her is with her only... trust me its not worth the headache with ur hubby
Avatar universal
Care to explain sabbylopez?? And yea my husband and I have been having some issues regarding financial problems but we are working on them together so its nothing that concerns his mother being involved.  Most of his side of the family are on drugs and his mother does have some problems herself so that also worries me as iv seen what they do to my husbands sisters baby and they are pretty rough and reek of the substances they have been taking. I dont think I should deny her rights to see her her grandson but I don't think I could trust her to look after him overnight or even just for a few hrs during the day without me there. It is my first baby and I know already im going to be very protective of him
Avatar universal
I know the feeling. My fiancés mother is a nightmare. My fiancé and I started dating when we were 14 years old, we are now 21. She hated me from day one. I was always polite and tried my very best to get along with her because of my fiancé. She used to get her sisters to help gang up on me and spread rumours around my town. She used to send me abusive messages and even tryed to start a physical fight on me. Shes showen up at my mothers calling me every name under the sun and said she would make my life a living hell. My fiancé used to do everything she told him. He even gave up his career from the army because she kicked off. I was the only one who told him to stay put in the army because he will regret leaving. I know from experience as I am an army brat. I seen what my dad went through when he left. My fiancé did what she wanted and ended up with depression and no job. She tried to blame me for it. When she found out I was pregnant, she then tried to be nice to me. So I tried to be civil for my mans sake. Shes now causing trouble and telling people shes always going to have my child. Shes even making a nursery in her house. My man doesnt seem to understand that it is upsetting me and my family members. I've gotten to the point where I have decided to give the baby my last name and warned him. If he even thinks about trying to take my child off me to give to her, because she says so, I will leave him and take him to court. I dont want her any where near me or my child. I told her she will see the baby when I come around to her house with the wee one. She is not getting my baby alone. Shes already kicking off about this. All I can say is. Stand your ground, try be civil but if that doesnt work then you have every right to stop her seeing the baby. The way I see it is. Why should we leave our children with people who slag off the babies mother and cause nothing but grief.
Avatar universal
The first comment was stupid... do what you think is best maybe put your foot down so your mother in law can see that her rudeness is not gonna be tolerated while your son is around. Trust me i know first hand, my grandmother would say mean things to me and my siblings about my mother and call her names and how all she wants is to make my dad broke which was all a lie and me and my siblings never would say anything cause it was our grandmother and we didn't want to insult her either so we would just be quiet and let her talk about our mom but we would always shake our heads and tell my mom what she would say and when my grandma would see my mom she would smile and act nice.... So I'm sure that's not what you want for your son to have to go threw. So just figure what you can do to let it be known.
Avatar universal
Thanks so much ladies you've put my mind at ease :) as horrible as it is with these family disputes im glad im not alone and that people out there understand :) thankyou all so much for your advice il definitely try and be a stronger more assertive person and in a nice calm way let her know that its my son first and of she keeps saying things about me then she will be seeing less and less of her grandson. I can't believe that theres arguments about this and my son isn't even born yet lol. Thanks again ladies take care :)
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I have the WORST mother in law in the history of mother in laws. She let's me know all the time that she can't stand me, and has told me the only thing good that has came out of me was my daughter. Shes obsessed over my daughter and its super annoying because I don't like her. But what I did, shut her up real quick. I let her know I can't stand her and raise hell in her house, I'll never take my daughter away from her because she loves her and my daughter vise versa. But I always let her know the day that she keeps putting stuff in my husbands ear I will divorce him, meaning not spending as much time with my daughter and my husband attacking her for me leaving him. I make her suffer she thought I was weak but I won't ever let me feel like poop.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Grandmother is an important role. It's hard when we don't get along with them but our kids miss out by not having a strong relationship with their grandmother.  I would do what you can to preserve that relationship for the sake of your child.  I don't believe in making anyone suffer or holding a child over someone's head because we are mad.  Giving our children an opportunity to have lots of people love them is a great thing.

I would try not to let the in laws bother you.  If they are doing EVIL things beyond just occasionally criticizing you--  then address it.  But lots of people think they know best and will say to others that someone is doing something wrong.  That's not really evil.  That's just being a little rude.  Evil gets people cut out of our life but rude is just something to roll your eyes about if it is an important figure like our partner's mother.  

I am a peace maker because holding onto anger and grudges takes too much energy and fills our life with negativity.  good luck
Avatar universal
I agree with special mom. I put up with my mil she was so rude to me and hated me when I was always too nice to her then she turned pure evil and started trying to get my husband and I to get a divorce so I cut her out of my and my babys life my husband is thinking of doing the same. I will not go into detail what she has done but she's twisted

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