am I over reacting due to pregnancy hormones?

[su3ad89]

I dnt really like to vent about my husband on forums bt thought maybe im over reacting? Well.. my husband has made plans to go to a wedding that is in another city one week away from my due date... he says he wud be away only for a day but being its so close to due date Icould gvie birth any day. Ive been getting contractions etc already.. I find it absolutely ridiculous that hes even considering going... and I feel the only reason hes being pressured to go is because hes the one with the car because I know for a fact if it was one of their wives that was in my position they wudnt even have considered going. It hurts me that im not priority to my husband and we have two kids aswell so if I was to go into labour I would be in a tricky situation on my own! Im so upset about this and he doesnt get it so im wondering if im over reacting? But I feel that im not and that as his wife who at any time can give birth have a right to feel the way I feel if that makes sense. sorry its long

[Lacii15]

I agree with you! I don't think you are over reacting at all. He needs to be there by your side as much as possible because you are a ticking time bomb... He just doesnt get it because he is a man and men are confusing haha but put him in his place

[Amers0808]

I don't believe you are overreacting. And I am kinda upset that your husband wants to go that far away so close to ykur due date. There was a concert my hubby wanted to go to 45 mins from our house but when he saw ot the week that I'm due, he said there was no way he was leaving me. I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I hope your husband changes his mind.

[RockRose]

su3, I do understand what you're saying,  and that's the way it was when my kids were little too.  I did all the child care.  Went to all the soccer games,  often taking all the kids to one kid's game while my husband played with his hobbies or napped on the couch.

He made all the money,  and I did all the child care.  I even did Tiger Cub Scouts,  which in our Den was traditionally a dad and boy thing.  If the boy didn't have a dad,  the mom would reluctantly step in.  Well I did the Tiger Cub thing for all 3 boys,  with many of the dads never having met my husband ever.  

So I do get what you're saying.  On the other hand,  I was so thrilled to get to stay home with the kids,  that i didn't want to miss a minute of it anyway.  But it would have been nice to have him there too and not have to make up some better sounding excuse for his absence than he's riding his motorcycle with a friend.

[5Nov]

No you are not overreacting! I think your husband should get his priorities straight.
Good luck!

[su3ad89]

Hes the one that wanted me to get pregnant again and he always says he would want 10 kids! Lol even though he says he wants so many kids im the one that looks after them so I dont c why he would feel like he needs to get away. He usually does what he wants anyways and ive never been against it.

He has already had a road trip all the way to holland with his friends just recently maybe 3 weeks ago and i was happy for him. And if I was to give birth before this wedding I wouldnt mind him going.

Lol I think I need the holiday more than him tbh :P

thnx for giving me ur point of view :)

[RockRose]

Well, I agree on your vision of the priorities.  

It sounds like he really wants some time away - which seems kind of typical for men who are about to have another baby - it seems overwhelming to many of them and a little escape is something they fantasize about a lot.  

I do disagree,  though,  that you shouldn't have people lined up to help you in a pickle.  I don't know how I could have gotten through parenting without friends I could call in an emergency - and know that they would drop everything to help out - just as I would have done for them.  And I was called on - as well as were they - several times throughout the childbearing years to be there like family.  

I agree your husband should do this at this point - your resources are stretched to breaking with your mother having too much on her plate,  and you not having transportation,  and having no back up carer for your kids.

Best wishes.   I wonder if you helped him plan something for a few months down the road - a guy trip for him - he might substitute that?

[su3ad89]

My first was an emergency c-section and my second the water broke before any other sign if labour but with this one I keep getting cramps back pain and contractions which I assume is false labour. So I wouldnt know the early signs if labour unless my waters broke.

We live in london my mum does own a car but shes caring for my disabled sister and my grandma and also has 3 younger kids that she wouldnt be able to leave to come and get my kids. Thats why my husband was supposed to take our kids to her instead to make it easier on her.

Its a four hour road trip I think to where hes going and thats without traffic. And if he was there as I was in labour I wudnt even want to let him know because knowing him he wud rush home and he can be quite a dangerous driver when hes in a rush so I wouldnt want to risk that.

Since im pregnant with his child I believe it is him I should be able to lean on and get support from and not expect others to drop everything to help me out. The wedding hes going to is not even someone hes that close to. Thats why I think our situation should have been seen as a priority instead of this wedding

[RockRose]

How far away is the wedding?  Since you've given birth before you know the signs of labor - would he come home if you were in labor?

I agree this is a little self-centered - but it could be made to work.

Does your mother also not have a car?  Sounds like you live somewhere very urban where no one really uses cars.  

Would he come back from the wedding if you went into labor?

[su3ad89]

No he was suppost to be in the labour room with me for support but since hes the one with the car he was also suppost to take our kids to my mums. If I was to go into labour and hes nt with me I would have to call an ambulance where would my kids go? My mum lives 45 minutes away. Oh god I really wouldnt want to be giving birth alone! That thought scares me

[RockRose]

So is the plan that when you go into labor your husband will take care of the kids?  

[1Desiree]

Nope, nope, nope! You are not over reacting! I would be pissed! He needs to be there for you and your kids. I would bring up the point, if you go into labor who is going to take care of the kids. You're not going to have time to find a baby sitter, especially if you go in the middle of the night!