Feeling Overwhelmed

[carshells]

Im going to vent a bit but I could really use some advice. I know this is stupid to even talk abiut but I need to know. Last week my family and I went camping. It was my mother my little sister who's 16 my mother boyfriend and his 2 girls my sister's best friend and her boyfriend. The entire time my sister's boyfriend didn't do a damn thing. He didn't lift a finger and if we asked him to do something he would put a face. When we got back home his sister mother and father came to pick him up. I pulled his sister aside and told vented to her on how I felt about her brother and how lazy he was all weekend. Maybe I shouldn't have done that because even though I told her not to say anything she still did. And now his parents said he can no longer come with us anywhere. And now my sister is mad at me. She won't talk to me. I know I didn't do a lot at the camping trip but I'm pregnant and I'm high risk I can't be lifting heavy stuff. I really wasn't feeling good the entire time. Even though I made the best of it. And I know I'm not that far along I'm only 5 weeks going on 6 weeks but I lost 2 babies already. I really don't want to lose this baby. What do you guys think. Sorry this was long.

[carshells]

Your so right areal10 he was incredibly rude and I felt in a way disrespectful towards us who did everything for him. And my sister well she got over it but she still isn't treating me right. Like now she's bullying me in the stupidest way that she knows will upset me. I think she wants me to lose this baby. She says she's over the whole thing with her boyfriend and camping and whatever but I don't think she is. She is being very rude and unfair to me. Like last night I was on our bed btw we share a bed for now. I was on the bed comfortable and she was heading to the bathroom to shower I asked her to get me a glass of water before going to the bathroom. She said ok and never did it I got up to find her singing in the shower and got the water myself. I mean I figured if she's already up can't she just do me the favor. I got upset and didn't say anything to her. And it's other things like the things she says to me is very rude and mean. Like a bully would say to the person they are bullying. Idk I may be over reacting. But it gets me so mad. Sorry I'm venting again.

[areal10]

And he's not a man yet. He's still a boy, which explains his rudeness & unwillingness to help a pregnant woman.

[areal10]

They're teens. They don't see the seriousness to things the way adults do. If you're older than her, you shouldn't have to do what dhe says. You know your high risk. It doesn't matter if she gets that or not. Regardless if its camping or daily house stuff, if you can't do it, then don't. If she gets upset or mad, she can do it herself. Don't give it a second thought & don't worry about it. She'll get over it.

[carshells]

Omg thank you so much. I was feeling very bad when everyone kept saying I did wrong and kept pointing out my flaw. But your right delizzzo delizzzzzo I shouldn't have to apologize because if he only did his part I woyldnt have been upset. Thank you hun for understanding. That rreally means a lot. I was really upset about it all. And then my sister treated me different at the time and was upsey with me. It was just a huge drama fest that I didn't need. But thank you again for understanding.

[delizzzo delizzzzzo]

I dont blame you for acting the way you did or feeling the way you feel he should have helped and N to the O no you dont have to apologize to anyone he should apologize to you and your family but i can understand why his parents got a lil upset even if you are right thats there baby boy you will soon understand Mama kids aint perfect well its all in how you raise them and us girls well we are always a lil ahead on the helping hand and teens can be selfish but you shouldnt of helped your pregnant and high rish you could of just straight up told him like hey can you help the girls out please cuz ima go lay down not feeling to well mmm im High Rish pregnancy but whats done is done and dont feel bad all this drama wouldnt of happen if he wasnt lazy so you shouldnt get blamed for anything well i hope you have a great pregnacy and wish you and the fam the best

[carshells]

They are teens and that what I tell my sister I am high risk I already lost 2 babies one at 11 weeks and my daughter at 35 weeks. I am extremely high risk and shouldn't be doing much.  Everyone keeps telling me to stay off my feet. It's hard when your own sister doesn't care and expects you to do just as much but doesn't expect that from her boyfriend. Who's supposedly a man.

[areal10]

How old are they? I don't underlstand why said anything. If your a  high risk pregnancy, then you shouldn't havd dine anything either. Instead you did it & then complained about it.And whenever you tell someone "don't say anything" you can always count on that person saying something. Just take care of yourself & so making stressful situations for yourself.

[carshells]

Omg thank you. Everyone keeps telling me everything I've done wrong but they don't comment on what he did wrong. I don't know why he was so lazy. His sister also said he's always lazy but I figured you know he didn't have to pay for anything my mom bought all the food plus for the camp site and everything we possibly needed for camping you know the least he could have done was help out. And he didn't made me feel like he just came to free load and that's it. That's why I got so mad.

[lucybooskie]

It sux when ppl can't go places cuz a how they act, u cuda also told him to his face to get up n help u I'm curious as to why he was so rude

[carshells]

His sister wanted him to get in trouble that's why she said something. And he's not allowed to spend time with us anymore even after my mother spoke to him. My sister and I are speaking yes. Things between her and I are better now. She understands why I vented to his sister.

[RockRose]

Sounds like everything has really changed since yesterday- your sister is back to speaking with you again,  and the boyfriend is allowed to be around your family again since your Mom was able to speak to him well after you vented to the sister?  Not only is your sister back to speaking with you,  she now completely agrees with you.  Interesting.

If you are too sick to help out,  don't,  is the thing.  

But don't expect the sister to be loyal to you,  and not her brother,  if you vent about him.

[carshells]

I don't need to apologize to anyone. First of you guys weren't there to begin with and second you really don't understand the situation. My sister understood why I said something. I even told her if the shoe was on the other foot and it was my boyfriend who was being completely lazy not doing a damn thing I would have told him something. She told me she didn't realize that he wasn't doing anything. She just did everything for him without even thinking. And by the way my mother did have a problem with it even her boyfriend had a problem with it. Everyone did. I was just the only one who actually said something. Again I say maybe I shouldn't have told the sister but next time I'll tell the parents directly. That way it won't look like I beat around the bush. And my mother even went and spoke to him way after I said anything. Telling him the things he did wrong at the camping trip. And yes I had to pick up his slack. Because while he was supposedly sick I had to bring a bunch of stuff up to our house. We live on the 3rd floor and a lot of those things were very heavy. My sister put me to work instead of forcing him to do something. That's why I vented to his sister because she just happen to be there while o was out of breath bringing stuff up. She even said shed help before I told her anything.

[maw4389]

I agree with RockRose, you shouldn't have said anything to anyone. It wasn't your place. You made a big deal out of nothing and now you've created a problem. I don't blame your sister for being mad at you. How would you feel if you went camping with a bf's family and someone complained to your mom about you not helping out? You need to apologize to him, his family, and your sister.

[RockRose]

And also,  I wouldn't talk to him later about it.    I count 8 people on this trip - surely if there was a real problem,  your mom would have brought it up.  I understand she couldn't rely on you this time to help out,  because you didn't feel good,  but it's not really your place to admonish your sister's boyfriend UNLESS you had been the one who had to pick up all the slack.  For example if he left early and you had to pack out his tent and all his stuff.  

I think you should just chalk this up to hormones,  and when you are tempted to vent again about someone,  maybe just vent silently in your mind.  It's hard to be really critical of someone younger than you when you yourself weren't able to help out either.

Best wishes with your pregnancy - prayers that this one sticks.

[RockRose]

I think this is a big life lesson for you,  carshells.  if you tell someone something  mean about someone they care about,  don't expect them to just ignore it.  You vented about her brother (who may be just a teen) and of course she'll say something about it.

Don't ever,  in life,  tell anyone anything and expect it to be a secret.  Ever.  Because it won't be.  If it's important that a fact/feeling be kept secret,  keep it secret.

You were kind of the one who was the blabber mouth,  carshells.  She was just repeating what you blabbered about.  ;D  

[carshells]

To be honest o was always a clean teen. I always helped my mom out. And I did so much for my mother. I should have never told his sister but I needed to vent and I never thought his sister would say anything especially since I told hee not to say anything that I would talk to him myself. But she's such a blabber mouth. Oh well they'll get over it. He shoildnt have been such a bum the whole trip.

[zulema1015]

Those damn hormones always seem to creep up when u least want them too! Lol I understand ur frustration and need to want to vent but to be honest I wouldn't have told the sister anything I would have told him myself how I felt or your sister. I would apologize to his family with him there as well, and tell them that maybe it was the hormones. No one wants to hear there son is a bum and it would make them feel alot better that you came to apologize and I'm sure ur sister would appreciate it too. Just think back to ur teen years and heating ur parents telling u to do this and that.

[Cassie_ronda]

I mean they are kids. If your mom didn't care I dont see what the big deal is. But I clearly see why your sister is upset. Lol I would be to.  But just give her sometime and space.