Aa
I need advice
Im 22 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend is really verbally abusive and hurtful. When he's not mad he's really sweet and nice but he seems to get mad at everything he yells calls me all kinds of names and then says hurtful things about our daughter like that's not my baby go find the real dad she's going to grow up a ******* have fun being a single mom she'll never know who i am i dont want anything to do with either of you. Then he comes back with the im sorry and i love you both he's threatened to hit me have me best up even threw a bowl of noodles at me at the wall and made me clean them up but is always sorry. We've broken up more than i can count but something in me keeps taking him back i want him apart of my daughters life but im starting to rethink everything i honestly don't know and im confused maybe I'm scared to do this on my own and want her to have a dad but i also dont want to keep fighting and walking on egg shell's. He's even givin me an ultimatum either we stay together or he wants nothing to do with us. He doesnt want to co parent and if we break up then he wont be there for her. Idk what to do
My advice is to call this number right here , 1-800-486-7282
It is a TOLL FREE STATE WIDE ( because I'm not sure where your located at I only have the number to Nevada ) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 24 HOUR HOTLINE . Call them , talk to them in PRIVATE , away from him . And let them know your situation , pregnant and noodle bowl throwing , everything tell them what your going through and accept their help . This is the only advice I feel personally will save you and your daughter . Put your daughter first she doesn't deserve this chaos around her while she's trying to grow just as much as YOU don't deserve to go through this pain and suffering . Call them don't be afraid anymore . God bless you .
It is a TOLL FREE STATE WIDE ( because I'm not sure where your located at I only have the number to Nevada ) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 24 HOUR HOTLINE . Call them , talk to them in PRIVATE , away from him . And let them know your situation , pregnant and noodle bowl throwing , everything tell them what your going through and accept their help . This is the only advice I feel personally will save you and your daughter . Put your daughter first she doesn't deserve this chaos around her while she's trying to grow just as much as YOU don't deserve to go through this pain and suffering . Call them don't be afraid anymore . God bless you .
I was in a relationship just like that with the father of my baby and I stayed there for too long. He finally laid a hand on me when I was 8 months pregnant. Now that we are not together he still doesn't care and he continues to be verbally abusive and he doesn't even bother to show up for our boy or to even help. I would say from experience, keep that man away. You don't need someone like him in your life and if you want the best for your baby, I would also say she doesn't need a father who neglects her even when she isnt even born.
Those are major red flags that things will only get worse. It sounds like he walks all over you, treats you like **** and thinks saying sorry will make it all better which, it won't. Go in to your kitchen, smash a plate, say sorry to it. did anything change? No. and that's exactly what he's doing to you. when your baby comes she's gonna need a safe and calm environment and the one she'd be coming to now is toxic. Call family or friends for help. Let them know what's going on if they don't already. If you don't have anyone who can help you go to a woman's shelter. That's what they're there for, they'll do what they can to keep you and your baby safe. Don't worry about being a single mom, it's far better than you and your daughter being abused.
The situation you described is quite a dramatic one. I am not in your shoes and do not know the ins and outs of your relationship and history but as far as you described it, it sounds like you should seriously put some thoughts into the future you are investing in today. Are you in this relationship out of fear to be yourself? Is it because you honor and respect him and he loves and cherishes you with all of his heart?
As far as your daughter goes, she will imitade whatever you teach her. So if disrespectful behaviour and relationships is what she learns at home and grows up with then that is exactly what she will look for when she grows up.
You are loved by God and so is your daughter. Things might look bad at the moment but they can be turned around completely by wholeheartedly asking Jesus for help.
Opening up in this forum was a first step, take the necessary following steps. Be safe!
God bless you!
As far as your daughter goes, she will imitade whatever you teach her. So if disrespectful behaviour and relationships is what she learns at home and grows up with then that is exactly what she will look for when she grows up.
You are loved by God and so is your daughter. Things might look bad at the moment but they can be turned around completely by wholeheartedly asking Jesus for help.
Opening up in this forum was a first step, take the necessary following steps. Be safe!
God bless you!
Look up the power and control wheel and cycles of abuse. Abusive people do not change without a sincere desire AND professional counseling. Leave, get help for yourself and build a support group before your daughter gets here. If you stay the abuse only gets more severe with time and no one deserves that.
The verbal and emotional abuse still carries with me today even tho we've been broken up for almost four years but it does get better over time. I was with him for four years and it doesn't take much for someone to tear you apart than it does to put yourself back together. That takes years
I was in a relationship that sounded exactly like that, come to find out he had a mental condition and was a narcissist and sociopath. Those ppl DON'T change. Eventually after having the baby I left him and found someone've and I've never been happier. I got tired of walking on egg shells and gave up because you can't change someone no matter how bad you want to, it just doesn't happen that way. He has to acknowledge he has a problem and get the help he needs, and has to do it for himself not because someone else wants him to our it won't work
Oh hunny you need to leave, I've been there too many times and it's only going to get way way way worse, you should start finding somewhere else to stay and start making plans to get out safely, I feel so bad for you, my thoughts are with you and I'm praying for you
It's tough and I know you love him, how can you not, because of him you have a great blessing arriving soon but someone like him doesn't deserve someone who keeps taking him back even when he is like that. You both deserve someone better.
You must leave immediately! It's harmful to you but especially the baby! You don't want the baby born sick bcz of your emotions they do pick up on it or even worse giving birth to a stI'll born bcz of stress and anxiety! Life is hard I know! But as a single mother! I did pretty good! My son now 23 has a deadbeat father & now I'm 16 weeks! I found an amazing man! Yes we have ups & downs but he's freaking great! Sometimes I'm the one who starts the arguments! You must leave when he's not home. As far as your baby goes, he doesn't need to be around her or be apart of her life to support her! So make sure you get his ssn# for child support, & if you cant get it easily the web is always available to help! If he's abusive now what makes you think he won't be to the baby? What if he hurts both of you? What if you hurt him & they lock you up, what do you think would happen to the baby? Put the baby first!! The furthest you move away the better even if it's out of state! Abusers are excellent manipulators! Please be safe & never think you are alone! You won't be the first or the last to be a single mom! Stay safe babygirl!
I say leave him .. You want to be in your daughter life for what ? So she can see him treat you like that and possibly do her the same.there is a guy out there ready to love you both just be patient. Plus you dont need that around you being pregnant you dont want any complications and i know your probably stressed. This is when you and bf actually start enjoying being pregnant talking to her feeling her kicks getting ready for baby shower getting room together ...you dont need him
To be honest I don't think you should stay with him. That's my opinion. I understand you want your baby girl to have her daddy around but the way he's acting isn't good. She's gonna grow up seeing this behavior and thinking its OK to be that way or get treated that way. Kids learn from us. Honestly you and your baby deserve better guys act and say hurtful things trust me I know..! But there comes a day they regret it all and it's a hard lesson they learn. Some may not learn that lesson but at least you can give yourself a chance to be in a better place. Don't be afraid of doing it on your own I've seen many women success as single mothers and do WAY better without the guy. I learned tht through my cousin and her abusive cheating baby daddy . He know lives in a different state and badly sees her daughter while she got herself a small career and a good job that she don't need to depend on no1. Plus a new person in her life that treats her amazing and her daughter as well. :) I just recently left my baby daddy because he was abusive verbally and physical..he would tell me the same thing that the baby were expecting isn't his and if I tried leaving he wouldn't let me out the door keep me hostage for days locked and threatened to kill me. He would say that if he couldn't have me than no1 could..I finally took the chance to leave one day while he was at work. I'll be honest it took me a while to realize I need to give my baby a better life I don't want him to see or go through what I did..I hope this helps and I understand it's your choice do what you feel is best and good luck!
I understand you're scared for your baby to be fatherless, but with how he treats you is he really father material? If he's saying thing like that before she gets here, what about after she's here? What if he escalates to physical abuse? You can't raise a daughter around that. I understand you're scared to be a single mom, but you're entering motherhood. You're baby comes before you or anything you're feeling. If he's going to leave, let him. You and your baby need nothing but positivity.
Please think about the child... Not only is the child soon, will b able to hear and feel all of your emotions and it could effect her in the wound . But her having to experience this menta an physical abuse when she arrives. Put a stop to it now sweet heart. Contact family and whom ever else you can,to get you out of this serious abusive situation ASAP! He knows why your leaving so therefore no need to explain to him(cause he want do nothing but make matters worse) pack up and go! You nor your daughter doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. Especially while your w/child. That's crazy! I'm going to keep him in serious and consistent prayer. God bless you my beautiful child.
This will only get worse. And when your daughter comes he will abuse her too. You need to get away from him until he is safe to be around. Every time you forgive him it just reinforces his behavior because you're saying it's alright to treat you like that as long as he says sorry later. Please get help and get away from him.
Your basically being verbally abused. He is trying to make you feel down and sad and it's not right because your caring a gift for him. Man don't understand what we are going threw when we get pregnant. Its supposed to be a bitter sweet loving part of our lives and they don't understand that their support is very important to us. I understand that they do change as well but I rather be alone then to get treated like I'm nothing. Its not good for you or the baby the baby feels how we feel.
Leave him now. Dont wait. Dont be scared to be on your own. Your child will not be safe. This is not love it is domestic violence.you need to protect your child and get out and away from this toxic person.
321, what makes you think you should put up with this? I'm asking seriously.
Have you not seen successful loving couples in your life give you an example for how couples treat each other?
Were your parents married, do you have any long time married aunts and uncles, cousins, neighbors, etc?
This is not how couples treat each other.
Have you not seen successful loving couples in your life give you an example for how couples treat each other?
Were your parents married, do you have any long time married aunts and uncles, cousins, neighbors, etc?
This is not how couples treat each other.
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