Aa
My Husband
He is sitting next to me to texting another married woman I saw the texts they obviously have feelings fir each other!!! She is the minister wife/pastor daughter at the church he attends. I guess I attend the church now as well. Anyways the girl was real rude and stand offish when I first moved here...I haven't said anything I'm 14w 1d not even married a year. I'm not leaving him but I need to know if I should confront him or the woman or both together? Give me advice....No bashing him just opinions om how I should handle this
Lol that was Rude to tell her to shutt up.!! I mean she's just trying to give u an advice..
I am not sure that this is going to lead to anything besides more texting, but I guess I would like to see the texts if I were you. Can you read them without him seeing that you read them? (Because of course, he will only write innocent texts if he knows you can read them, whether he means innocent things or not.) It is possible that the flirtation they are apparently having will blow over, or that it will just be friendship in the end. Do you have any other clues that he is actually someone who would cheat?
I have long chatty and funny conversations with our accountant that stray far from the accounting business we do. Maybe he is just being charming for professional reasons and is like that with every client, but I don't think so -- it would not surprise me if a little bit of attraction fuels the fire just enough to keep things that pleasant between us. (Especially some tax years when I'm slow to get our stuff together and he's swamped, it's been amazing we have still been speaking by April 15. *Something* must be going on, at least a little bit.) But I would never dream of trying to act on it (besides just enjoying the charming talk). If my husband were to come at me in a jealous fashion and demand we change accountants, I would tell him that he has nothing to worry about, which is true. But if he were to come to me in a thoughtful way and say, "Don't you think it might be pushing the edge just a little to be so friendly with Jim? It makes me feel lonely," I might be abashed enough to dial it back to merely business and no more pleasantries. It would make me a bit sad to do it, since the guy makes me feel like I am fun.
I guess this all comes down to what you think your husband has in mind with his friendliness with this lady, and possibly what she has in mind too. You can't ask her, but you can ask him, and he might answer you calmly if you ask him calmly enough. Tricky, though. My husband would have to be very, very revealing and open, to get this conversation going with me such that I would admit any warmth toward the accountant at all that is more than average for a professional relationship. (After all, adults are allowed to have friends.) Your husband's past history would be another guide to what his intentions (or hopes) are in that lady's direction.
That all said, men are different than women, and more often men don't crank up a relationship unless they sort of hope it will end up sexual. (Except, apparently, my accountant. lol) So go with your instincts.
Good luck.
I have long chatty and funny conversations with our accountant that stray far from the accounting business we do. Maybe he is just being charming for professional reasons and is like that with every client, but I don't think so -- it would not surprise me if a little bit of attraction fuels the fire just enough to keep things that pleasant between us. (Especially some tax years when I'm slow to get our stuff together and he's swamped, it's been amazing we have still been speaking by April 15. *Something* must be going on, at least a little bit.) But I would never dream of trying to act on it (besides just enjoying the charming talk). If my husband were to come at me in a jealous fashion and demand we change accountants, I would tell him that he has nothing to worry about, which is true. But if he were to come to me in a thoughtful way and say, "Don't you think it might be pushing the edge just a little to be so friendly with Jim? It makes me feel lonely," I might be abashed enough to dial it back to merely business and no more pleasantries. It would make me a bit sad to do it, since the guy makes me feel like I am fun.
I guess this all comes down to what you think your husband has in mind with his friendliness with this lady, and possibly what she has in mind too. You can't ask her, but you can ask him, and he might answer you calmly if you ask him calmly enough. Tricky, though. My husband would have to be very, very revealing and open, to get this conversation going with me such that I would admit any warmth toward the accountant at all that is more than average for a professional relationship. (After all, adults are allowed to have friends.) Your husband's past history would be another guide to what his intentions (or hopes) are in that lady's direction.
That all said, men are different than women, and more often men don't crank up a relationship unless they sort of hope it will end up sexual. (Except, apparently, my accountant. lol) So go with your instincts.
Good luck.
Obviously something is going on , if he has to save her # under a different name . Your better then me bc ain't no way in hell he wud be texting another chick in front me. I say confront him bc if the shoe was on the other foot he prolly Wud have a heart attack . If he sees that you allow him to do these things ain't no yelling what he'll do in the future. Know your worth sweetheart && if she was rude && stand offish when yall first met something had to happen between the both of them
I dont think you need to tell her to shut up. I have been in this exact situation and left my husband after 16 onth marriage. ..6years together.
If you are not going to leave him regardless the chances are if you confront him...he will just get better at hiding he is doing it. Just my 2p
If you are not going to leave him regardless the chances are if you confront him...he will just get better at hiding he is doing it. Just my 2p
^ thank you. My bluntness fails me often.
I think what ladybee was referring to is that you have little power if there is no set boundary (you cheat, I leave) which there is some truth to. There are women that would NEVER leave a man no matter what he did for various reasons. That's not for everyone and I try not to judge others as I haven't walked in their shoes.
But this is NEW information for you. I think it is a natural reaction to be in shock, confused, a bit desperate to know what is going on, to misplace anger on the other woman when it is not them that owes you anything, and to say that the relationship has to work out no matter what. That is the first reaction many women/men have as they are confronting something like possible cheating by their partner.
Perhaps he is just close to her in a way he shouldn't be and he needs to explain that to you, address why he needed a person outside his marriage to be close to, and end it. Then you two can work on the issues in your marriage and get back in track. That is my hope!
But you need to talk to him. good luck dear. This is an emotional subject but it helps to know that everyone is just trying to help!! peace
But this is NEW information for you. I think it is a natural reaction to be in shock, confused, a bit desperate to know what is going on, to misplace anger on the other woman when it is not them that owes you anything, and to say that the relationship has to work out no matter what. That is the first reaction many women/men have as they are confronting something like possible cheating by their partner.
Perhaps he is just close to her in a way he shouldn't be and he needs to explain that to you, address why he needed a person outside his marriage to be close to, and end it. Then you two can work on the issues in your marriage and get back in track. That is my hope!
But you need to talk to him. good luck dear. This is an emotional subject but it helps to know that everyone is just trying to help!! peace
Ladybee shut up!! I'm not leaving him because we were just married but I have made him value me. He doesn't treat me bad he has shown me nothing but love and care. He just started acting like this so I new something was wrong the fact that I'm trying to do something about it is me valuing myself!!
If she knows about you and she's suppose to be so holy I would confront them both honestly because wrong is wrong and you can't let it happen with the mindset that your not gonna leave him that's not good I would first ask him listen to the excuses or lies handle it with him and call her and ask her to stop talking to your husband tell her its not a big issue now but if it continues it will be one you can't let him belittle you and tear down self esteem
^ not bashing, let me know if I need to explain myself better
I meant, tell your husband that you are going to let her husband know and then do this. (sorry for the typo.)
Um confronting him or her wont do amy good. You just said yourself you womt leavr him so hes cheating on you right in ftont of you bc uve given him no reason to value you or think of you as something precious that can be lost like you are. So if you arent going to leave hin over cheating just leave him alone and let him do his thing. Where I come from if you have to lie youre cheating.
Hi. Remember he is the one who has vows with you and is the one you need to focus on. Confronting her is unnecessary drama. Instead, focus energy on your husband and ask him directly what is going on. If you feel you want to 'do something 'about what she has done--- let her husband know that you're going to let HER husband know. And do that. If he is your minister of your church, you can quietly tell him.
But the issue is with the betrayal of your husband. I would not wait to discuss this with him and find out what is going on. good luck and I'm really sorry this is happening.
But the issue is with the betrayal of your husband. I would not wait to discuss this with him and find out what is going on. good luck and I'm really sorry this is happening.
Ok thanks mreeah
Ppl pls answer I feel like I'm bout to burst...he has her name under his best friend name which is the woman brother....smh
The girl is not who you should be confronting. Itll just cause an unnecessary fight, and if youre into that then whatever, but my best advice is to ask your husband about it. Hes with you and talking to another woman! You dont need that in your life.
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