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Avatar universal

So freaking irritated!!

Okay so my hubby works from 4 in the afternoon to 6 in the morning..I babysit a seven week old from 6:15 in the morning to around 3:30 in the afternoon.so I'm babysitting while he's asleep and as soon as I see the baby off he's leaving for work..this all goes on from Monday-Thursday..we don't get to see each other..well we both swore that this would be our weekend together to do whatever we wanted..well my parents left yesterday for Atlanta to visit my uncle and left my little brother with us..he's 16 and can take care of himself so we don't have to worry about him just keep a check on him and make sure he's fine..well hubby's mama and nephew come by earlier and guess what..his nephew decides to invite himself over for the night.he is nine..he literally eats everything in sight,always says he's bored,always asking to do this and that,and I don't give him permission bc I don't want his parents mad at me for something I told him he could or couldn't do so I leave it to hubby since its his flesh and blood ya know..well I've spent all day cleaning up,this child makes a complete wreck of this house and will not pick up after himself..before someone gets rude or has an attitude let me clarify that I know children make messes but he's 9..he knows how to clean up after himself and there is no way he is hungry 24/7 (LITERALLY) and we don't have the extra money this week to steady spend money on junk food for him bc we have to eat for the next week too and if he eats everything what does that leave us with??im 33 weeks pregnant and I just wanted to spend some time with my husband doing things we want before baby girl gets here..I'm emotional and just want my hubby to hold me..im not being mean about having to babysit his nephew bc I really don't mind bc he usually stays with us a lot,it's just that I was really looking forward to this weekend alone:(I miss my hubby:(
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Avatar universal
I baby sat my nephews a few times a week before having my daughter. Constantly picking them up from school and feeding them. They would spend the nights. I never got any kind of money for gas let alone food. My husband was working 50-60 hours a week and it was rough. Finally after I had my baby I learned to say no. Especially during nap time :-) nap times become your best friend because you use it as an excuse to say no. Sorry can't do it baby is sleeping. Or nope baby is asleep we can't have visitors. Hope no one misinterpretes that baby as an excuse thing. It doesn't mean you don't care about him but you need to learn how to function as a family before adding everyone else back into the picture. I was the exact same way. I could not say no to my sister ever. I felt horrible doing it but it also bugged me to have to watch her kids 3/4 times a week plus sleep overs and run them to and from baseball practice.. I was tired!! Things will change really fast when baby comes and you learn really quickly how to say no. :-) hang in there. Life is rough sometimes and pregnancy hormones make it worse... They continue after you have baby too so watch out for that.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
well that explains why he eats the whole time!  If he's on meds for ADHD during the week he probably has no appetite and is not eating,  and he's spending the weekend eating to catch up for the whole week.  
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Avatar universal
And he's supposed to take medicine to calm him down but his aunt doesn't send it with him on the weekends so he is worse than he is during the week..ugh..thanks ladies.i do love the kid like he's my own he's just a handful sometimes and I feel like I can't discipline him like I can my own child.thank you seriously for the support and encouragement ladies you don't know how helpful you all are!
Helpful - 0
7140159 tn?1396530233
Def talk to your husband, dont keep telling him your fine and nothing is wrong. Maybe if you tell him next time he asks he will undedstand and agree with you and then you cab both come up with a solution togetger. The longer you sit there and dont speak up the more and more upset your going to be and will let everything little thing pile on top and anger you even more so speak up the next time he asks you whats wrong and talk to him
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13167 tn?1327194124
Well,  it sounds like this boy is a little hard to entertain (not a terrible kid,  just one that requires constant entertaining and feeding) and there is the aunt and grandma who step up to the plate,  as you and your husband do,  and everyone needs a break.

My kids had friends who were hard to entertain like that - always asking to do things that were beyond the bounds of what they should be allowed,  or cost more money than I was willing to spend, etc.  It was a constant stress to say no,  we're not going to build a fire.  No,  we're not going to drive out to the lake.  No,  we're not going to order pizza. No,  we're not going to call 4 more kids over to hang play here.

I kind of feel sorry for the boy in a way - he got dealt an awful hand with bad parents,  and he really doesn't have a permanent home.  He's just got relatives who are willing to be generous and help out kind of part-time.

I hope you get some time with your husband.
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Avatar universal
Its not supposed to be rude..
Oops
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Avatar universal
What im bout to say may sound rude but its meant that way..... you can always pack the kid up in the car and take him back to his house and let them know that no one asked if it was ok for him to spend the night and that you had previous plans that you are not canceling due to an completely unexpected sleepover that niether you or your husband agreed to.... then go about your merry wayand be with your huhusband alone for a few hours
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Avatar universal
Lol thanks for the advice ladies❤
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Avatar universal
Yes you better always wear them lol I have learned that the hard way, never again will I do anything I don't want to do or let someone take advantage of me.
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Avatar universal
I'm a nice person so I always feel like I can't say no..I guess I just need to put on my big girl panties and lay down some rules.bc this is not going to happen once my baby girl gets here!
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Avatar universal
Wow, that is rude. I don't know how you are not calling his Aunt to come and get him. You just don't do that to ppl. Also if you dont nip this in the butt, they will always take advantage of you.
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Avatar universal
Don't look like its gunna happen though..
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Avatar universal
We are anticipating the arrival of our baby girl and we are so excited about having a child of our own we just know that's it's going to be hectic for a little while after she first arrives and rest is going to be limited and he's still going to have to work and all that so we were just trying to spend time alone these last few weeks..
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Avatar universal
Well I say his parents but his daddy is literally a piece of crap(my husbands brother) and his mama is a druggie..his aunt has full custody of him but he comes to stay with hubby's mama and us on the weekends.his aunt takes really good care of him and he likes staying with her or so he says..but hubbys mama knows how hard my husband works and that we don't get to spend time together durin the week..she didn't even ask if he could stay..she just left him here and he starts talking about "hey let's do this tonight or hey let's do that tonight" and I'm like what the crap?who asked if it was okay or made sure we didn't have any plans already?!i know it might sound like I'm only worried about myself but I'm not I just want time with my husband before our own child gets here..I've taken care of this kid many many many days,so it's not that I have a problem with..I just wish that she would've asked before she just left him..now I'm left sitting here all upset and hubby keeps asking me what's wrong and I don't say anything bc I don't want to sound mean.
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13167 tn?1327194124
I can't believe how everyone's leaning on you without even asking first.  Do you still have a chance to tell the 9 year olds parents that you already had plans?  
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Avatar universal
Sorry ladies,I just had to vent..sorry it's so long and nagging.please don't be negative,I just needed someone to talk to.
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