My job contract ends next week and I have been looking like crazy for jobs. I was the finalist with another candidate for great job, but they chose the other. My husband cannot work because of our visa status in the US, only me has the work permit, so he was going to be a stay at home dad. Now, if I don't find a job in the next two months we have to leave the country, I have been working here for 7 years. I have and few options that might come true and I will know for sure in July. I am trying to be optimistic, and not stressed for the baby, just focusing in the things I can control, but I feel so much pressure and this heavy weight on my shoulders. I have struggled with severe depression in the past but I was able to be fine without medications for over a year, I am scared that all of these will bring my depression back. I am a type A kind of person -always have worked very hard, very competitive, being independent since very young and manage to get a phd in the US, my dream- and now I feel worthless, only the idea of my baby keeps me going.
Sorry for the long post, but I had to vent...