Avatar universal

need to get this off my chest!

This isn't completely pregnancy related though I wonder if hormones are affecting my view of this situation. Mostly I just need to vent in an unbiased environment.  

My roommate and I have been living together for about 9 months And known each other only a little longer than that. We met at work and hit it off, she needed a new place to stay, I needed help with bills and my current lease was almost at an end anyways.

I was seeing someone when me and her first started hanging out but it ended shortly after and then I went on one or two dates before I started dating my current boyfriend about 8 months ago. I've always been open about my sex life and have had multiple partners in my life but have always been safe. I've never gotten any std's or had any pregnancies or pregnancy scares. My roommate on the other hand (who is a year younger than me) had only been with 3 people, all long term relationships and used to preach about making guys wait and how she's "not that kind of girl" even had the audacity to refer to me as a "****" one day while my mother was visiting. Needless to say the friendship died quickly but we continue to live together out of convenience.

Well within about 2 months her tune changed rather quickly. All of a sudden she was sleeping with men with "no feelings attached" and going on "dates" with 3-5 different men at a time. She also started to express interest in the guy I had been dating when we first met. A month later and she'd contracted herpes. Eventually she calmed it down a bit, got off of online dating sights and such. But in the last few months she went back on and was back to her usual ways. Meeting men in all kinds of dangerous situations. She once went on a date with a guy she met when he messaged her accidently as a wrong number...

At this time I simply found the situation ironic since her activities became the same as what she had been accusing me of and the whole time I'd been in a stable relationship. Some friends suggested that maybe she was jealous of Me and was trying to act like she thought I did to get what I have. I mostly ignored this idea but lately it's getting difficult.

One of the guys that I went on a date with before I met my bf was a real douche. It was one short date and I went back and complained about it to my roommate. A while back she mentioned seeing him at the store she works at and I thought nothing of it because he lives in the area. Then the other day she told me that she went for coffee with him and went on about how much of a douche he was. She fully knew that this was the same guy and pursued him anyways which I feel is such an awful thing to even try and get in to. How exactly would that have gone if she ended up bringing him home one day with me and my bf there.. it definitely didn't sit comfortably with me.

So now the cherry on the cake. I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant  and she's known since I was 5 weeks. Well guess what. Yesterday she found out that she's pregnant too! She doesn't know how long as she can't remember her last period but likely between 5-7 weeks. She used to go on and on about how condoms were a must and now she's knocked up and has NO IDEA who the father could be as there are multiple candidates!

I can't help but feel like this was intentional in a non-intentional way. Not necessarily that she was trying to get pregnant but that she purposely stopped trying not to. Maybe she liked the attention I was getting once I found out?

Its possible that this is all a terrible coincidence,  or that it's really bad karma catching up to her for the way she used to talk about me. I don't know. But I can't help but feel a little freaked out by it! I feel like she's trying so hard to have what I have! Or am I just mad because it feels like she's trying to steal my thunder?

For now I'm just staying calm and doing my best to be supportive to her but my main objective now is to find a new place for me and my f and get us the heck away from her!

Sorry for the essay. Like I said. Needed to get it off my chest!
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Oh ya, I forgot. She even changed practise and has the same doctor as me now.. not by my recommendation either...
13167 tn?1327194124
Once your lease runs up,  it sounds like it would be a good idea to part ways.  

I can't tell from your post what "thunder" of yours she is  taking by being pregnant herself - but the two of you don't seem like compatible friends.
Avatar universal
Watch Single White Female now lol.
I had a roommate who had been my friend for years before we moved in together she was my best friend. I became too suffocated by her because suddenly everything I did she did too. She chased the same guys I did, plus more. We worked the same jobs and had the same friends. 7 years after we moved away from each we barely talk and there is a ton of built up resentment. Get out on your own with your boyfriend before it becomes even more toxic
Avatar universal
It's just so crazy frustrating. I'm also incredibly passive aggressive so I've never called her out on any of this. It is likely Complete coincidence that she's also pregnant but she definitely would have conceived after she found out I was pregnant and I can't get it out of my head that she stopped using protection on purpose.

By steal my thunder I just mean all the excitement feels slightly deflated now. I'm 29 and honestly never thought I would have kids. I also don't have very many friends who have been pregnant, and none where I live now so it was an experience that was uniquely mine. And now I feel like I'm sharing it with someone that I don't even like that much... it's probably selfish of me to feel that way but I just can't help it.
13167 tn?1327194124
I think you might have hit the nail on the head when you said you don't have many friends who have been pregnant,  so this seems like a unique situation that now she's also doing.  Like, if you took up origami and suddenly she was doing it too - it would seem awfully copy-cat.

But really,  most women will get pregnant in their lifetimes.  So it's kind of an anomaly that you have a situation where you have been alone in this pregnancy - it does happen to most women.

As time goes on and your friends change from the ones you have now,  to the ones in the future - and they will be moms with kids - you'll maybe feel more comfortable around other women with kids - because most women have them.

Best wishes.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

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