wine or cigarette

[jennymeaney]

Im really shocked at a comment a lady said today. She was clearly pregnant and I served her a glass of wine at work in a restaurant. As I placed it on the table she said it was naughty but at least its not as bad as a cigarette. I said nothing as it was not my place but im not sure I agree. I know both are bad but I am now left wondering which would be worse. What do u all think

[2015mommytobe15]

March2015babyboy, I love your post! I'm also a smoker, I don't like being called selfish over something the doctor told me NOT to quit doing. You people don't know the circumstances,  so mind your own!!

[Sass508]

I'm not proud of it but I smoked2 cigarettes a day for most days during my first pregnancy. That was when I was 18, almost 4 years smoke free! I feel terrible about it but I had a perfect baby boy who is 6 years old now.
A lot of doctors agree that a glass per day is ok but I don't drink at all. If you have a high risk pregnancy it's probably a bad idea

[mw89]

@shalenemarie if you refused me service I would speak to your manager immidiantly and would be surprised if you had a job when I was done. I was a server for so long and yes I served alcohol the only reason to refuse  service to someone is if they are out of control drunk. My baby and body is not your business.

[ShalaneMarie]

Yes deny them service. Why would I be part of them harming their child. In my city AL liquor establishments are aware of fas and noted that we have the right to refuse service if we feel neccassary. ....

[Ferny1111]

Drinking are smoking during pregnancy just depends on the baby's system everyone's system is different some are not affected and some are if that's a risk your willing to take than that's your choice we all make choices that others don't agree with but that's just life I personally would not do either during pregnancy but for some that have been doing it before pregnancy have harder times to quit I know it's not anyone intention to harm there baby we just all have different believes ....

[AniyahsMommy]

@shalanemarie thats really crazy I never heard of that I dont understand how you could just deny service basef off one individuals personal beliefs? It would really bother you that much you risk losing an entire table nd your money???

[brooke7373]

@Marchbaby- no problem hun. It is so hard. All you can do is your best. That's what matters. Just don't let anyone put u down. They have no idea how hard it is or what you are going through. You are doing great.

@Shalene-refusing service LMAO LMAO refuse someone service because they don't think like you do haha haha wow. People are amazing. Its like when people get refused service cause they're black....or gay LMAO LMAO  Its not your way or the highway lol lol who are you to judge someone? Give me a break. THIS crap is insane. I honestly cannot believ that my generation is this close minded and crazy that they think it's ok to oppose your views on others. You people are really sad and I actually went from thinking this hormonal thing is funny....to feeling really really bad for you.

[ShalaneMarie]

As a server u have the right to refuse service. Or at least every where j have worked and I simply would have told that women to beat it. And get her drink on at another establishment

[march2015babyboy]

@brooke7373 thanks a lot! Not many people know the struggle it means a lot to read your kind words :) its not like i want to hurt my baby but cutting so many things out of my life when i first found out was so hard as it was smoking was the only thing that kept me sane! Your awesome and again thanks for the kind response :)

[brooke7373]

@March....I agree. It was sooooooo hard for me to quit smoking! It took almost half my pregnancy to do it. People judged me so harshly too. I tried quitting cold Turkey after I found out I was pregnant and I was hospitalized from my blood pressure increasing which caused seizures. I almost miscarried. So my doctor and i developed a QUIT GRADUALLY PLAN.vPeople still judged me. Called me names...told me I was uneducated (I have a my master's degree and I almost have my doctorate) told me lots of things. Made me feel awful. But ya know what...who cares. No one knows you. People should support you....not judge you. Quitting was the hardest thing I ever did and there are days I would eat a cigarette if it was in front of me lol lol but don't let anyone make you feel bad for anything you do. Everyone does what they can do. No one is perfect and those who are preaching to be are usually the most messed up. Do what's right for you and keep your chin up....never let anyone make you feel like less of a mom than them.....their kids will be the ones that grow up with the issues lol lol garanteed

[march2015babyboy]

No problem! It actually made me sad reading all the judgement on this post why should i have to be told i am being selfish because i smoke. I do feel bad and its even worse with people constantly reminding me and saying things like that. Im only 18 and not like im proud of it but have been smoking for 4 years so quitting was very very difficult so i talked to my doctor and he advised against it. I just wish more of you could be on the other side and feel what i am feeling instead of sending negative judgements ):

[laur23]

Thank you!!!! @marchbaby2015babyboy

[mw89]

I will have to agree with Brooke7373 please stop making me pee myself. Lol

[march2015babyboy]

I actually find what you ladies are saying very very upsetting. So i am selfish because i smoked before i knew i was pregnant and by time i found out my doctor advised me not to quit because i would have a very high risk of miscarriage. My life is very stressful at times and i dont think i should be judged because i have a cigarette in a day. My mom had 7 kids and we were all perfectly healthy. I feel so offended that you would use the word 'selfish' you dont know everyones circumstances so before you go off saying im risking my babies life live a day in my life first.

[brooke7373]

Ladies.....stop making me laugh....I keep peeing a little hahahha

[brooke7373]

Hahahahah Laur23....I honestly just started dying from laughter at your post hahaha @Individual....you are right. When I started doing research for my dissertation I found ALOT of studies that showed the benefits of wine. I think that's why promotion of wine is so prevelant in Europe. I don't drink any but that's only because I know I'll want more than 1 glass. And yes smoking is definitely terrible....although there have also been studies that show smoking having no effect on the fetus. But once again....I believe smoking is harmful so that's why no tried so hard to quit. But I have seen pregnant women smoke and I don't judge at all eithet. i know how hard it is to quit and I also know that quitting suddenly can actually cause more problems for a pregnancy. That happened to me when I tried to quit cold Turkey. I ended up in the hospital from my blood pressure getting so high it caused me to seizure. I almost lost my son from quitting. So I cut back gradually. Per My doctors advice. Its just sad when women judge this way. Every one is going to have different views....it doesn't mean I'm right or they're right....it just means we are different. And research is always conflicting so people can't even use it as an excuse. I just say to ea h their own. Every mother should have the right to decide what they feel is safe and unsafe during pregnancy. Opinions don't need to be forced on each other. Tolerance and acceptance that all individuals are just that....individuals is essential.

[mw89]

Laur23, she sure is and she is preaching to the f riggin choir, and I don't think its listening So judgmental. I am sure she is a pleasure to be around (sarcasm)

[laur23]

OMG is this dallas person on this question also acting high and mighty again???  Jesus your really not having swell day or pregnancy .....

[IndiVidual1146]

I'm learning that an occasional glass of wine is not only okay but can be beneficial. As far as cigarettes, not only is there research that it's harmful but my boyfriend's ex smoked through all her 3 pregnancies and her babies were low birth weight, are behind developmentally, and have asthma. So that's really all the proof I need.

[brooke7373]

In Europe where I live a glass of wine a day is actually recommended by your physician. So before you resort to judgement realize that people differ on views. Although I don't drink....my doctors have all recommended red wine for iron. So I wouldn't judge this women at all. Just because you think something is wrong doesn't mean it is.

[Amandamara]

I am a product of smoking while pregnant.... I was born with 2 holes in my heart and had to have open heart surgery at 15. I have a bad valve and am constantly being checked by my baby doctor to make sure my baby is ok. I'm one episode away from being on permanent meds for my heart. I can pass on my heart disease because my mother was selfish and smoked.

[1NAMILLION]

Lol....it's just my personal opinion but...cigarettes and/or wine is like the old adage "swapping the witch for the devil" if you are pregnant.  Whether harm is being done or not, I think that the baby didn't ask for either and therefore shouldn't be exposed to it period until they are of legal age to drink it on their own or in their own house to smoke. I guess I just believe that they are worth any and all sacrifices, habits, cravings and/or addictions.

[3rdNdone]

To each their own. A woman having a drink of wine is her business. Doctors are split on the drinking of wine so it's no wonder why pregnant women are as well. No one knows how much alcohol causes Fas but I'm sure it takes more than one glass. To do a study would be unethical so there really isn't much to go on. But there is enough information on second hand smoke and the two aren't even equivalent.
Stop judging other pregnant women. None of us are perfect.

[tinabina25]

Im on baby # 5 an i smoked ciggs with all of them they are very healthy my 2nd pregnancy i had a glass or two of wine an my son was very healthy