would you be mad/uncomfortable?

[blessedmommy209]

So I h@te my husband on the internet, I dislike that he watches inappropriate videos on YouTube, such as females showing all their goodies.. I have told him that before about a month ago and I seen his web history and he's at it again. Idk if I'm being overboard about it, but it makes me feel as if I'm not good enough to look at. Should I be furious about or should I chill out. I know there is worse he could be doing on the internet but I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby no my body isn't perfect so there for I feel ugly when he does this stuff.

[happymommytobe13]

He definitely makes me feel like he doesn't love me anymore and want someone else. He is constantly comparing me to other women. He just asked me why I never seem happy anymore and I told him. He said well I can't help it that I like girly girls and straight hair. What kind of excuse is that? I admit I don't dress up anymore but I just feel like it and most of my clothes don't fit. He just makes me feel a million times worse than I already feel about myself

[blessedmommy209]

Happymommytobe13 I couldn't agree anymore about the feeling.. some of us don't like this kind of stuff other women enjoy it with their spouses, but iam not that women that likes my man looking at women even if it's just the internet, it's the feeling of him getting turned on by another women oh no I don't like that feeling, at the end of the day I guess men will be men that does not mean we have to like or approve of BS they do..

[happymommytobe13]

Guys just don't understand what we are feeling and when they look at that crap it makes us feel so much worse. Or well it does me. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough that he isn't happy with me. I tried talking to my fiancee about it and he flat out told me he was going to watch it anyways. And when he looks at naked chicks on the internet it's a thousand times worse. He does it all the time and of course he gets caught. And sometimes he sends the pics to himself

[ldraisey]

I dont see porn as an issue. I know my husband watches it and he knows I do. I dont consider it cheating. Its a way to explore your sexuality porn has also improved the sexual relationship we have with one another

[blessedmommy209]

Well ladies we talked about it, I asked him what he gets out of it his answer was nothing, he apologized but I didn't feel like he ment it he was jus telling me what I wanted to hear.. he said I shouldn't be mad about it because it's just the internet,, so I guess we will see what happens with this issue from here on out. Thanks for all opinions and comments I appreciate it very much..

[Ferny1111]

I also don't like porn and think that its nasty but I know my husband watches it at time cause I've caught him but I don't get mad cause the way I see it is if I'm not pleasuring him I rather him watch a video and pleasure his self than to got get pleasure from someone else if you know what I mean .....

[SoccerMom2009]

Lol

[saramay2014]

It was actualy ritorical but thank you for proving my point XD

[SoccerMom2009]

I'm not a psychologist nor an expert in this matter but I grew up around lots of male cousins and that's all they think/talk about: sex! In fact,  I saw a statistic that said men think about sex about every 5 minutes of every day. Why? I don't know. That's why as a woman, we must each take handle of our own relationship and set boundaries. Once a man gets away with one thing he'll continue doing it. If she forgives him, in the back of his mind, he thinks he can do it again and you'll forgive him again; and the cycle keeps perpetuating. And No, it's not acceptable for a man to think he can do bs like this and it's ok. A smart woman should know her husband and always be thinking ahead of him. Otherwise, he's in control of the relationship and that's not gonna work. I'm sorry,  maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. But I hope I answered your question, Saramay.

[saramay2014]

Why do women think that men are gunna do it and its accepted cause they are men. That only makes it worse :/

[SoccerMom2009]

Porn is nasty! That's why it caters to men cuz that's how they think. Some women live in denial believing their man is perfect and would never watch it. That woman is a fool. Because if they aren't watching it, they are thinking it and that hurts even more! that my hubby be having those thoughts and and not tell me. But I have found some porn (soft porn) & cater to women cuz we're more about emotion& love and I enjoy that kind. I'm not advising anyone to do anything.  I'm simply sharing my personal experience.  So if my hubby n I watch porn, I select it. And he loves that. Win-win situation.  And I gained confidence. I feel sexy and I know my hubby isn't fantasizing about something I'm not bc I'm filling that void most men need & seek when they aren't being satisfied at home. Our sex life is great, granted we haven't been intimate in a long time bc of my pregnancy.  But he's not being a jerk about. Very understanding and i couldnt be happier. And if he's in the mood, we talk about it and find solutions.  That's what makes and marriage wonderful: clear, concise communication. Respecting a man is gonna be a man and that your man respect you by being honest about everything.

[Laurah4685]

Another way to look at it is that being a guy who might not get as much action now from his wife etc, maybe he needs it?  I am not saying your case or out of disrespect.  Maybe if he were to do that for sexual gratification it would be better if he looked in the real world being promiscous?  I think porn is nasty.

[saramay2014]

Its ok hunny, it really hurt but it turned out to be ok, he had never ever hurt me befor which is why i think i was willing to forgive him, besides watching porn he hasnt done anything sence then. It hurt the trust completely and when he says hes not guna watch porn and does it damages the  trust hes earned back. I brought up to him how he would feel if i was looking at guys nakid and he said he wouldnt like it so maybe he is starting to understand where i stand.

[SoccerMom2009]

@Saramay: I'm so sorry what he did to you is an ultimate betrayal. It takes a lot of love to forgive someone who has betrayed you like that. I know first hand what that is like to. But I had to walk away from that person. And for the record, I too, caught my present husband watching porn behind my back years ago and it felt like he had slept with another woman. So when I threatened him that I was going to watch porn without him too it clicked in his head that it wasn't right and he honestly changed. Now what works for me may not work for others but sometimes just saying things out loud can reflect on what really is right and wrong in a relationship. I hope you find peace in your heart and can move forward in your relationship. And do Know you deserve to be loved exactly the way you know you are worth.

[saramay2014]

Hes said that hes stoped but i found more in his history that he said he just hadnt cleared (funny thing was i looked at his history earlyer that day n it wasnt there) i hope he does but im not holding my breath.. im worried its gunna get worse once we Cant have sex after the baby is born, im worried hes gunna actualy go out and cheat. When the baby is born will be a year from the time i caught him sleeping with another woman (i eventualy forgave him but i still bring it up n hes like ur never gunna let that go are you, im like i forgave u but ill never forget)

[sarahsetfire]

I think every guy watched porn like videos on the internet no matter who they r with. I dont care / it doesnt bother me if my bf watches porn or looks at models / women online. I think you should just ask him why he does it / what he gets out of it if it bothers you that much

[blessedmommy209]

Saramay that's exactly how I feel. %100 on point.

[saramay2014]

Thats exactly my feelings to hunny, he says it dont mean anything and hes not actualy out doing things but i tell him it hurts me alot and makes me feel unattractive and its still cheating.. hes looking at other nakid women how is that not cheating :p

[blessedmommy209]

Soccermom, no matter what it made me feel better.. I have no desire to look at other men but the revenge sounded great

:)

[blessedmommy209]

Lovebeinghismiss, I agree two wrong don't make a right.. and if I want to fix the situation doing as he does isn't going to help..
Saramay, this just started recently happening and it bothers me really bad I know it's not physically being unfaithful but it still feels as if I'm being cheated on..

[SoccerMom2009]

Thanks Blessed mommy for getting my joke. @ love being his mrs: Notice the "lol?" It was for humor, Jesus. Not all marriages are like yours. Some can handle satire w/o getting offended. Besides, maybe if she just mentions the idea it might make him realize the true damage he's inflicted upon her. It's not immature,  it's being realistic. I'm sure he wouldn't like it, hence, might make him stop.

[saramay2014]

I get upset with my bf cause he promises that he wont do it agin or isnt watching it then ill look threw his histrory on his phone and he trys to explain it away and i get so angry cause i feel hurt disrespected and betrayed and even more hurt that he continues to lie to me. Sometimes its so much i honestly want to leave and find someone that will be faithful to me and only me

[love_being_his_mrs]

For me and my marriage, that's a big breech of trust. I'd have a serious conversation about it. Please don't go watch the same smut...it sounds good I know...but it's ultimately immature and doesn't seek reconciliation - it just rubs it all in. Two wrongs don't make a right and two wrongs hardly get the other person to respect your point of view or validate your feelings.

[blessedmommy209]

Soccermom I am definitely going to ask him what's he getting out of it.. I have told him how I felt, but I never asked him what he gets out of it.. you are so right I should watch videos just to see how he likes it. Thanks soccermom