Pregnancy age 45+

[VNin]

I feel lost and concerned.

I am 44.5 yrs old while my boyfriend is 29 yrs. I work as a painter so my income isn't stable. There are months I do not earn anything. My bf is just about to complete his Masters and will hopefully land a job soon after. But because he has no prior work experience, he shall not be earning much at all. That's how it is over here.
After being together for nearly 4 years, he finally told his parents who are from and live in the Middle East that about us and that he would like to get married. They rejected the idea, they mostly rejected me.
I wanted to have a baby with him 2 years ago but he wasn't sure about the relationship at that point plus finances.
Today, he would like one. And because it is him, and I love him, and I do know how lovely it shall all turn out, I'm willing to.

However, I am worried as recently I was diagnosed with 2 slipped discs at my neck which affects my upper back till my fingers on my right hand. He has been much help at helping me around the house. I've been seeing a chiropractor which has helped but sometimes when I overuse my hand as I paint, the pain returns.

My concerns are that we won't have enough money as I won't be able to paint as I won't have any help at helping care for the baby, which otherwise would give me time to paint, and we can't survive alone on his salary.
I am also afraid that I will have trouble holding my baby while breastfeeding due to my slipped discs. I can't look down without it hurting my neck, and how do I hold my baby when my right hand isn't as strong as it used to be.
My bf still wants to speak to his parents as we shall need their support financially, but more than that he wants their blessings. He said otherwise, he shall feel torn.

The last time I got pregnant I was 35 but my bf at that time didn't want it and I needed his support, so I aborted. I felt like crap and guilty for a long time. Until today, I have difficulties attending baby showers of my close friends.

I don't know what to do if his parents finally agree to us being married.
I would be at the very youngest 46 when I deliver. That too if  we conceive easily.

I loss my mother at age 12. Although I've been in relationships before, should he and I go our separate ways because of his parents not allowing this union, it shall be the second greatest loss of my life. I feel very lonely and sad thinking about this. He is the only son and the eldest, and they want him to return after his studies end in 5 months time. Life would be easier there as he would earn double the salary than he would here and he would be able to provide for us and maybe even get a live in helper. However, we would like the child to not have a passport from Yemen as it doesn't allow any movement whatsoever. Hence, for the sake of the child's future, a passport when we currently live will present more opportunities for the child when he/she is older. I also don't know how to face his parents knowing that they were not keen on me being their son's wife. I don't have the energy to work at convincing them that I'm a good person, especially if I'm pregnant and going through whatever that may come my way during pregnancy. I do not want to have a baby growing in me while I am under stress and sadness.

Hence, I am lost, and I feel alone.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.

[VNin]

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I appreciate it.

[Annarose12]

You're both adults so don't let his parents wishes affect your relationship.  This may sound bad, but if he's still listening to his parents at 29 then he'll always listen to them.  Even to his detriment.  I think you both have to decide the future of your relationship first.  From what you've written it sounds like he wants a future with you. Work on the details so you're both on the same page.  A baby will need a firm foundation.  

In regards to age, my coworker had a healthy baby at 46.  My mother had me right before she turned 43.  I think its possible to have a healthy pregnancy in your 40s.  It would be a great idea to have a talk with your doctor about pregnancy with your back problems.  

I wish you the best and hope you both find the happiness you deserve.