Aa
About to ******* snap....
So ever since I moved out of my bf's apartment due to roommate issues, my bf has started to become really distant. He always makes excuses as to why he can't come see me, etc. Well his mom just called me and asked if I'd heard from him tonight and I said no because he was supposed to come over but blew me off again. Well she said she would try to get a hold of him and tell him to call me and see what's going on. He texted me with another excuse and then his mom called back and said that he made a comment about not having any cigarettes so he was going to the neighbors to bum a couple. She reminded me that he just got paid on the 6th from his disability which is $200 and he's broke already. When she tried asking him what he spent all his money on he said "don't worry about it, I spent it." Now I know he smokes pot but theres no way he could smoke that much pot in 5 days. And I know he didn't buy groceries because he gets $200 on a bridge card for that. It seems really odd and she made me promise that I wouldn't bring it up to him and tell him that she called me back, but it is really bothering me.. we have a kid on the way!!!! And she said he made it sound like it was none of her business but it is MY business because we have a kid on the way and he is blowing all his money on god knows what. How the fxck do I handle this?? (Btw he has a brain injury so having a real long conversation with him is sometimes hard.)
Its just they are probably getting in his head me and my boyfriend are the same exact way lol i feel like we are in the same situation but his family are the horrible ones not friends so you could only imagine
But the thing is, when we are together, we are extremely happy together. It's only been like this since I moved out and his apartment became a man cave. But when we are at my parents or when we used to get the house to ourselves, we got along great. I think they are a bad influence on them and I have made it clear that none of them are allowed over when we get a new place.
You know, any person able to make life is strong enough to do anything. Your kids can tell if mommy and daddy are happy and if they aren't. It's your responsibilty to try but its not to coddle him. If it were me, I would leave. But thats because I grew up in a home where mommy and daddy didn't want to be together. It was not pleasant. What's best for the child may not always be best for mommy... Just a little input there.
Its true that men dont liked to be bossed around so I try not to ask what he spends it on because he gets an attitude when I do. But I know most of it goes towards weed and it pisses me off that he basically puts drugs before his own children... Im just tired of it but I deal with him so my kids can be happy and physically have their dad in their lives everyday...i love him but him being so irresponsible with money when theres so much to be done makes me just want to leave him!
That's what I'm hoping for, because I do love him with all my heart, I have never been this in love, even before I got pregnant. And all I want is for us to be a family. Thanks for the advice ladies.
I am sure he knows he is in the wrong. Men do not like saying that out loud. I guess I am lucky because my fiancee pays our bills as well as myself. When we moved out of a house full of drug addicts.as roomates, things became much better. It'll be worth it if you love him through it.
That's exactly what I told him, that I am 18 years old and have a baby on the way and ill be DAMNED if I'm raising 2 kids! I was wondering if the roommates were the issue because its all guys there now and I know how guys don't want to look whipped or whatever in front of their friends. But still. But I'm hoping once we get a new place it will change because they all use him over there and he has a brain injury and is easily persuaded. They all live there for free, don't pay rent, and don't buy groceries. So idk.
Well thats true the people around him can manipulate him to get his money exactly what my bd mom does she is a total user when i was living with him it was fine but the moment i left problems started to happen and he become distant but you cant force him all he probably will do is catch a attitude once you guys live together it will be fine he probably just want to keep peace because he live with those guys you have to let him learn on his own and grow up men dont like to be bossed around i gave up on mine until he learns on his own im tired of feeling like im his mama and at this point im pregnant i dont need 2 kids
How do you deal with it? Do you ask him where all his money goes? The fact that he told his mom "don't worry about it, I spent it" is what freaks me out. Because he got $100 for Christmas from his grandma and when he came over 3 days later it was gone. He could only explain where half of it went, and when I asked about the other half he said "I spent it today pretty much," and I KNEW that he didn't, because he was with me all day, and we went to dinner and the movies and I paid for everything because he only had $5. So when I mentioned that, he changed the subject. I am just lost and don't even know what to do anymore. He promises me that he's not doing drugs and that he is happy with me, and his eyes always light up when we talk about the baby. But how am I supposed to deal with him being this irresponsible? Everyone is saying it will change when we get a new place together for just us and the baby when it comes but will it really? My family says it will because he has a brain injury and needs guidance and direction from a good influence (me). But idk..
Im sort of in the same boat. Me and my bf live together but he hasnt paid any rent since october...so now we are getting evicted and they came to cut our power off today. He has a job and gets paid every two weeks. I freaking snapped. like really! Why is our power getting cut off and you are not paying the rent or any other bills. I dont know what he does with his money Smh then im due in about 3 weeks but I have nothing for my baby yet and he hasnt even attempted to give me any money to get her the things she needs. Luckly I get my taxes back soon so I can get her what she needs. But in really to my breaking point because my unborn or our other two kids arent getting taken care off the way they should be being that he works and gets paid every two weeks!
Hmm I'm sorry :/
Maybe just ask him and see how far you can get with a conversation?
Maybe just ask him and see how far you can get with a conversation?
I feel like the problem is bigger than that though. I think he is spending his money on **** that he shouldn't be buying regardless because his roommates are druggies and a bad influence. I am so afraid he is blowing his money on drugs...
If a long convo won't work keep it straight to the point. That you have a baby coming and not to blow money on stupid ****.
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