Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Adoption mistake help???

I gave birth to my baby on April 1st. I had decided to give my baby up for adoption to a close family member. I was prepared to do this all through my pregnancy but now I just want her back. Its been about three days and I can't stop crying.  But I feel so bad for asking for my baby back. I don't want it to ruin my relationship with my family and they spent a lot of money on baby supplies. I am willing to give them any money they spent but I know they wont accept it. Idk what to do? How should I bring this up? What would you guys do? I need help.
14 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I'm a birth mom, was when I was 16.  I put my story up in the adoption section in the communities forum - It's hard, but definitely think about it before you ask. I took my feelings, set them aside, and did what was best for my daughter. I wanted her back but knew as a 16yr old single mother, with the dad not wanting to be found, and no job or finished education I couldn't provide for her what she deserved. As for the family, it WILL HURT them to take her back but they would be understanding (if they have a heart). If you can care for your lil one, then fine. I had three months to decide legally. All I'm asking is that you think about your lil one and what's best.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Go get YOUR baby back girl!❤
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
But as I said if you're ready for all of this then go for it. :-)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Okay, just wow. Please read my whole comment before assuming anything.
I am an adopted child and I have to tell you what you're wanting to do is going to seriously hurt that family. So please be prepared for that, remember they spent the pregnancy waiting for their baby to come home, buying things and preparing their home and hearts. They will feel just like you do because NOT ALL FAMILIES ARE BIOLOGICAL and they'll see it as you taking their baby.
Part of them will understand and will agree but it won't be easy.
You probably still have all the legal authority to take your child back and if you think you should then do it.
There are resources for moms who gave up children, if you believed your whole pregnancy that this was for the best then maybe it is. Contact some support groups and or lines.

And EFF anyone who says your child will think you abandoned them. They're still in your family and one day you will be able to tell them your reasons. My bio mom did this and I can agree with her. She gave me the chance to have more then she could give me and I'm very grateful.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If it's your baby then get that baby back! Don't worry about feelings! It will make that baby feel 10x better down the road knowing mommy wanted her back bad enough to get her no matter what! Better than her one day thinking you abandoned her
Helpful - 0
7140159 tn?1396530233
If they love you they will understand and not to be rude or ugly but who cares? This is YOUR child, i understand you thought you wanted to do this but its normal to change your mind, thats why in lega adoption through agencies they give biological mothers that grace period bc a very high percentage of them decide they dont want to go through with it like they thought. And this is family if they cant support you and do this for you and understand then yes it will affect your relationship but as a mother the number one rule is your child comes first and whats best for your child comes first and what anyone else thinks comes last. And also dont be scared to go get your child, it wasnt a legal adoption and they cant keep your child from you. So i say you do whats best for you and your baby and go get your baby and bring her home where she belongs.
Helpful - 0
2170635 tn?1357911686
Oh ok yeah talk to them first and if you really willing to take the responsibility of the baby you can get her back because nothing was put on paper but for that you would have to talk to the police or a judge
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Mothers legally have only so long to  get baby back after adoption. Three days Im sure it possible to get him back and pretty sure your family will be upset. But if I were you and wanted my baby back I would go for it!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You still have a certain about of time legally change your mind. And you must of had good reason to consider adoption. Right now your just emotional. Make a lost of pros and cons for you and the baby and decide what's best for you. I hope that helps a little.
Helpful - 0
2170635 tn?1357911686
Did you sighn any papers to legalize the adoption and saying you handing over the baby
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The sooner the better
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
U should really talk to them about it then n express how u really feel
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No it wasn't. I just didn't think I'd feel this way. I just want her back but I also don't want to ruin my relationship with this person.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Was it a legal adoption
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community

Top Pregnancy Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.