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Avatar universal

Baby and wife at risk from CMV

Hi, i am newly wed and my wife and i have been extra careful with protection (no kissing, etc.) This is because i have bern diagnosed with CMV(cytomeglovirus) and i didnt want to pass it on to her. Now we have had unprotected in order to have a baby for the first time and i am worried that my wife has contracted the virus and the virus has gone to our baby? Just to make it clear i have tested positive for IgG and the IgM was negative so it shows it wasnt a new infection. Does anyone have any experience or knowledge with CMV pregancies because when googling it, it makes me more scared that the baby will be disabled. Thank you and please reply im so scared,
4 Responses
973741 tn?1342346373
Hi.  So, your wife is not pregnant yet but you are worried because you have CMV and you are attempting to have a baby, correct?  Or IS she already pregnant?  If she is not pregnant, I would have her talk to her doctor about this (her obstretrition).  She can talk about your having the virus and what she needs to do to protect herself and ultimately the baby.  I did find a great article by the March of Dimes on this subject.  Pretty explicit statistics to help you not worry.  CMV is very common and the most common virus passed from mothers to babies.  Of all pregnant moms, 1 to 4 percent have CMV and they have a 1 and 3 chance of passing it to the baby.  And most babies that are born with CMV do not have health issues from it.  But the possibility is still there.  The good news?  Your wife doesn't have it that you know of?  A new infection during pregnancy is really more the worry so I do understand your concern. But knowing that most of the time, babies do not have serious consequences from this very common virus should be reassuring.  They can check the baby during the pregnancy with an amniocentesis if you wish to know if your baby has gotten the virus from your wife if SHE gets it.  https://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/cytomegalovirus-and-pregnancy.aspx  

I think that I honestly do understand your concern but if you want to have a child, the benefits outweigh the risks.  Just my opinion. Have her talk to her doctor about this.
Avatar universal
Hi, my wife took a pregnancy test and it came back positive so she is pregnant. Shes been tested for cmv and its negative so far but apparently it wont show in her blood untill 3-4 weeks. If she tests positive later, it will almost certainly mean the baby will be disabled. I wanted to ask if you have any knowledge on this or if anyone does, i lf we have another child in the future say couple years later, would that child also be disabled and get CMV

And just another question but i understand if no one knows the answer here, if the child doesnt have congenital CMV but gets CMV after shes born, what are the risks there?
2 Comments
Actually it would not 'most certainly' mean that.  Read the link above. MOST babies born with CMV do not have disabilities.  It can but that doesn't mean it will.  Otherwise, they'd have told you not to have kids, right? I would try to not be so anxious because if you want to have a family, you have to take this risk and understand the odds.  Does your wife see a doctor?  

By the way, CMV is extremely common.  And for most people there are no symptoms.  And most people DO get it as children.  Here is an article from Mayo Clinic (famous for being reliable) that has as its first sentence "CMV is very common and can infect almost anyone.  They rarely know they have it because for most people, it causes no problems".  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cmv/symptoms-causes/syc-20355358

I've read that the dangerous time for a baby is if your wife were to get it as  a new virus during pregnancy.  But as the March of Dimes link that is posted above (please copy and paste, it's a good read and will hopefully alleviate your fears), most babies born with it are not disabled.  And you can test for it during pregnancy to know if the baby has it.  Talk to your wife's doctor.  When does she go to the doctor?
And most importantly, congratulations!!!!  :>)))
Avatar universal
Thank you, and she's going to the doctors next week. I'm just in a bad place right now because i will be infecting my wife and child with CMV. I have read that there are vaccines in trial and maybe in the future it can help people in similar situations. I'm praying the baby is ok and lives a long healthy and happy life. Im going to try and limit any method of possible infection to my wife, wont let ant fluids (salive etc) touch her, and one the baby is born i will be doing the same, i will hug it and kiss it only on the forehead or not at all. Hopefully by then the vaccine can be made so my children can get it. Thanks for your help regardless
2 Comments
I really want you to read those links I've put into the posts.  CMV is not some horrible situation for the vast majority that have it.  Other than it doesn't go away, it is very common.  Meaning, your wife could get it from lots of places and not just you and is lucky she hasn't already.  During her pregnancy, be careful though, yes.  After the baby is born, I would not be so inclined to worry so much.  Your child WiLL likely at some point get CMV.  If not from you, from someone else and will probably have zero issues with it. :>)  Try not to worry.  You don't have some terrible virus that it is a disaster to get.  Keep that in mind and keep this in perspective.  Becoming a parent is full of worry, I know.  

How far along is your wife do you think?  
My wife is 3 weeks pregnant and i have read those links, it doesn't really help me that much because of the fact that my wife could have CMV and because its early in the pregnancy its a HUGE risk. Plus even if my baby is fine, it will most likely be infected and eventually have CMV and then when people kiss my baby they could get it and i will be thinking this is all my fault. Which is why i will minimise intimate contact with my wife and future kids.
973741 tn?1342346373
It is certainly your prerogative to be concerned to the level to avoid contact.  But let me share this statistic with you that may help.  40 to 100 (ONE HUNDRED) percent of the population has been exposed to and has CMV. Up to 20 percent of children in the US have CMV by the age of puberty. 50 to 85% of adults have the virus in the US.  1 in every 200 births are babies born with congenital CMV.

I am not minimizing your concern at all.  I am a parent and I worry.  And when pregnant, I had heightened worry. All the 'what if's' and thoughts of what could go wrong or bad.  And the fear of being completely responsible for the little life I created.  It's a lot.  

Your baby will be exposed to CMV by anyone they come in contact with as infants.  And as children. And as adults.  We all can't live in a bubble.  And the ramifications of acquiring CMV are relatively low.  Most don't even know they have it for their entire life.  

I again don't minimize how you feel.  But just want your kids to enjoy an engaged, affectionate parent.  Education for you would be excellent.  Talk to your doctor putting your anxiety aide to get facts for how to live with CMV and still be a normal person in terms of life with your partner and kids and family and friends.  Do *I* want CMV?  No.  Do *I* want my kids to have it?  No.  I'm not saying that and not trying to say it's nothing.  But you have to do your best to celebrate and live life too or all lose out.  That's just my opinion any way.

This is your first child.  I am sure you are very excited.  Focusing on that.  This is exciting news and I hope the pregnancy goes really terrific for your wife.  Now IS the best time to minimize your risk of passing it to your wife.  Normal precautions.  But she should talk to her own doctor and you should make sure both of you are comfortable with the level of intimacy between the two of you.  good luck with everything and I hope you come back here for any other concerns you have an dare not put off by my voicing my thoughts on this particular topic.  I'm only sharing an opinion based on my knowledge which doesn't mean it has to be right for you.  :>)  All the best.
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