Do You Let People Touch Your Belly?

[GoingOnFiveKids]

I have a question and a comment. Well, first of all, I normally dont mind if someone wants to touch my belly. Sometimes people dont ask and just assume it's ok. My kids nanny asked to touch my belly but she just kept rubbing in circular motions looking really scary. Her eyes looked serious, almost like she was thinking about something or concentrating.  It was so weird that I had to ask her if everything was alright. But before she could answer, my 3yr old decided to throw up out of no where and that's what broke the awkward silence.  And recenty she asked to touch me again and I was affraid to say yes or no. She wound up rubbing my belly again with her eyes a little wide and afterwards she brought her hands to her belly almost with a longing. She doesnt have kids and isnt married and is well into her late 40's and I know she yearns to be a mom but knows that it mostly likely wont happen. What do you think? should I be scared? I'm due to give birth in 9 days so if I go into labor the baby will be fine. I have four boys and this is my first girl and most likely my last. I've overdone everything for her arrival. Is the nanny jealous and is giving me the evil eye or its it in my head?  

[blueeyedtabbycat]

Thats kinda freaky. How long has she worked for you?

[GoingOnFiveKids]

Over a year and a half

[blueeyedtabbycat]

Hmmmm I would install  a camera. Just a thought :)
Good luck with your little princess:)

[GoingOnFiveKids]

Thanks, I was talking to my hubby about that but he seems to be on her side about this.  he says she religous and woundnt do anything to hurt our kids. and I tell him that it may not be on purpose but subconsious. I hate when I write in a rush, I forget how to spell LOL. Anyway, he gives me a hard time to spend this money since he thinks she's innocent.

[blueeyedtabbycat]

I would try and explaine to yout hubby how much better you would feel even if there turns out to be no reason, better safe than sorry. Cause if something were to happen (God forbid) He would feel horrible. And if you feel uncomfortable maybe you should just rent one your self. I woulnt ignore a feeling like that.  I hope it turns out to be nothing:)

[GoingOnFiveKids]

thanks, me too. I'd hate to lose her since she's so good with the kids. it's hard to find someone who can handle three active boys. It's still makes me feel funny that she looked lost when she did it.

[LauraB78]

That's creepy as H E L L in my opinion.. I am a very open person, but I don;t understand what makes people think it's okay to touch a pregnant woman's stomach, no less "rubbing" in circular motions.. If she has been your nanny for a year and a half, do you not feel comfortable enough to just call her on it? Maybe say " Insert Nanny's name.. I was just wondering if everything is alright with you.. I noticed when you were touching my stomach you looked upset and it made me uncomfortable and I was hoping we could talk about it." Her response should indicate whether or not it's something you should be genuinally concerned about. I think that would definitely raise some red flags with me.. Good luck and keep us posted,

[GoingOnFiveKids]

The problem is that there is a language barrier. It's hard to explain myself to her without making her feel offended. I know I should care less about how she feels compared to how she's making me feel. I didnt plan on having her care for the new baby. I want to be the one taking care of my newborn. With all the other kids I took care of them for four months and took them everywhere with me for four months. It wasnt till after I had child care for them. But even after four months with the new baby, I had no intentions of leaving the baby with anyone else and I didnt want her active brothers influencing her behavior with their wild ones.
I had asked "Stella" if she was ok both times and the first time was when the two year old threw up and snapped her out of it. The second time I mainly just looked at her to see if she was doing something with her eyes. I just want my baby born. I feel affraid of her health while she's still inside. I fear I will lose her for whatever reason. I feel like I can protect her if I could hold her. Maybe I'm just as crazy as the nanny.  

[GoingOnFiveKids]

I know this is going to sound scary but I have been feeling that the nanny has been making my kids sick. God forgive me but she left her tiny purse behind and I just felt a need to look inside for something. I dont know, I just felt like a pull. I didnt find anything but that's good too. What if she's putting chemicals in their bottles? or food? like very small amounts that my kids arent tasting. There was a time when my kids were getting sick every month. and I had fired her for 2 months for raising her voice to me and she had regretted it of course but i wasnt in a forgiving mood and they didnt get sick once during that time. Just simple things like my 2yr old had herpengina and that you can get from a playground. Now all four of my kids are throwing up and having diareaha but no fever or other symptoms. It has been happening since I took the gate off the baby's door since she was putting him behind it and leaving him crying so that she could clean the house. I've had this conversation with her before about putting the house before the baby. I can clean my own house. She mops and sweeps it everyday which is great for me but bad for the baby since he sufffers cuz he's locked up in his room. I told her dont clean if he's awake. I dont want him crying and throwing  up from getting upset. I plan to get rid of her. I refuse to leave her alone with the kids. I'm waiting to give birth next week on tuesday and then she's history. I'm not leaving them with her either while I'm in the hospital.  I'm using my other nanny Silvanna for that and sending the 2yr old to a babysitter named Betty that I had before Silvanna. I'm planning on using Betty again but she recently had surgery and I'm waiting for her to heal. What if I'm accusing Stella and she isnt doing anything? I would feel so horrible for that.

[Roz1977]

The whole thing sounds very creepy to me...if you are feeling something strange that means chances are something is not right. You know what they say about mothers intuition. I do believe that a "religious" person can be crooked or messed up. We all know there are priests, rabbis and other religious leaders who have done things that are not right.  (or very bad)
I highly doubt that she is poisoning your kids but i do think stress causes all types of sicknesses maybe the kids are upset with her and this is causing them stomach problems. to be honest i say either the camera or fire her...shes not making you feel comfortable and thats enough to make the situation wrong.
and the stomach rubs...i dont even like when family members touch my stomach. very strange and very uncomfortable for you!
And even if stella has no bad intentions the fact that you are uncomfortable and you feel something isnt right is more than enough.
BTW you are not crazy!

[blueeyedtabbycat]

There is something to be said about intuition. I would fire her and hire someone you are more comfortable with. You shouldnt have to second guess your self everytime you walk out the door. Your kids should be left with someone you are 100% comfortable leaving them with. Maybe there is nothing wrong with her, but she isnt the right person for you.
Good luck with the up coming delivery and the new nanny:)

[JoyRenee]

I know women who struggle with infertility and their pain and sorrow is very deep and very raw. Most of them absolutely hate pregnant women. Your nanny seems safe, not psycho or anything, but that definitely is a little weird. She's probably just trying to imagine what's going on inside your belly.

Just install a camera. She's probably not going to do anything except love your little daughter as much as she loves your other children. She probably nannies because she knows she might never have children and she is probably fine with that, even though she still seems sad about it.

[JoyRenee]

Okay well I just read your other comment just a few above my last comment and I have to take back what I said. When you throw the fact that your children are incredibly sick when she's around, then it makes everything seem a LOT worse. I have two cousins who were shaken (one adopted shaken by his biological family member and one whose nanny shook him as a baby) and both are mentally handicapped. There really are sick people out there.

Find someone else! And PLEASE INSTALL cameras!

[sameerab]

well since you are about to give birth and should have some time off i would watch my own kids and fire the nanny...when you are ready to go back to work find someone else to watch your kids....

[GoingOnFiveKids]

Thanks everyone, I needed those posts. Everytime I bring this up to my hubby he shoots me down. Today I spoke about it to my mom and day in front of my hubby so that he can see that I'm serious. He tried to change to conversation! It really pissed me off! I havent been leaving my home so i'm not too worried about anything happening while I'm there but I've informed her today that the kids are staying elsewhere while I'm in the hospital and she doesnt know it but that's when I am going to use that opportunity not to let her back into my home. I really am leaving the kids with other people while I'm gone. It helped that hubby wants to actually stay at the hospital with me this time. He never did before. go figure!
I'm going to the Ispy store this week to see the cost behind these cameras. I need one in the kitchen and others in the kids rooms.    

[jesslee83]

NOW is the time to start looking for replacements.....AND, since it's strange with the children to be sick only when she's around, um well, yeah...i'd take them for an exam....normally, i'm not a "pester" for bad things, but i'd get exams and tell her to get the **** out.....at least with a check up, you'd know what was going on....and get cameras....for $99 some walmarts sell a 15" tv with camera.....and the cam is wireless too i think.....i never really think the worst, but THIS i'd have to go to all stops....and if chris kept shooting me down, my words would be "then you take it up with her,if not *I* will", and he knows it's "safer" if he does lol.....