Ferber Method??????????

[Linzola1]

I took Julian to the Ped today and we were talking about the sleep problems that he has been having. For the last month or so Julian has been going to bed around 8:30 or 9 and he will sleep until 12:30 or 1 then wake up every hour to hour! So being the tired Idoit that I am put him in bed with me and he sleeps ok!  She mentioned that I try using the Ferber method, but I feel awful trying. HE goes to bed super easy its the going back to slep after waking that is the problem. He is only 7 months and I feel like with all the problems he is having and has had that it would be cruel, but I am not getting any sleep and am physically exhausted! Is this the thing to do or can anyone else give me some tips to try before going to this method? Thanks

[mikaleen]

Joy...She screams all night, I mean all night.  All week.  I've let her pick out sheets, curtains, blankets, nightlights...everything.  I've tried rewarding and taking away.  She never gets out of her bed to come to mine.  She won't go to sleep unless she's in mine and running her feet through my hair. (she would never take to a blanket, or stuffed animal).  When she wakes up in the middle of the night she screams bloody murder and nobody gets any sleep, and poor DH has to be up at 4 for work.  She ends up with laryngitis and hives from screaming.  I'm just glad the neighbors are so far away, they would think I'm murdering someone.  She understands, but sleeping with me is the most important thing in her life now, and she is willing to give up everything else for it.  If I have another one, there is no way that child will be sleeping in my bed, even if I spend every night in a rocking chair nursing every night for a year. The pedi told me to start letting her cry it out at 6 months, and I could never do it.  I don't know that that's the way to go necessarily, but starting a habit that early with some kids will be the most difficult thing to break.  I will find a different way.

[JoyRenee]

It's just Julian's personality! I say that because my 2nd daughter slept through the night in her own room from 2 months and up. She doesn't like nightlights (she likes being in a DARK room to sleep). So you can see that each child is different.

My only advice is to start weaning him from sleeping with you by his first birthday. I started with naptime. Once I got Elaina used to her bed in the day it was much easier to transition to bedtime. I would actually do a happy dance when I got her to lay down by herself! It was a great feeling. Every now and then you can see if he'll go to sleep on his own, too.

I have woken up with an arm cramp! I never got really good, deep sleep those months, so we always took naps together.

mikaleen- at 4 your daughter is able to understand instruction. Just explain to her that that is Mommy's bed and she has her own bed. Tell her that Mommy's bed is off limits and she'll be in trouble if she climbs in. You have to set boundries at that age. And if she screams, let her. It's not the same as letting a baby cry it out because a 4-year-old understands better whereas a baby has no idea what is going on.

[mikaleen]

My daughter also slept in  the crook of my arm when she was young, it was so easy for nursing...but now she is 4 and I absolutely cannot get her to sleep in her own bed.  Have been trying for years and she screams at the top of her lungs until she can lay with me.

[mary345]

well with my first i let him sleep with me and now he is 5 and is just starting to sleep in his own room by himself thankgod it was very hard to break him from sleeping with me and it never bothered me till i met my husband my son was 3 then and my husband and i were sleeping in different rooms which put a real strain on our relationship then i got pregnant with my daughter and i said enough is enough and i started putting my son in his own room and it took a while he would cry himself to sleep and would wake up often but i would just go into his room and comfort him and leave now is does fine goes to sleep and sleeps through the night my other daughter is 2 and from the day she was born was sleeping in her own bed but slept in the room with us we just moved her into her own room 7 months ago and it took her a while but she is doing fine now and my other baby girl who is 7 months old from the day she was born falls asleep by herself sleeps through the night and doesn't care where she is sleeping she shares a room with her sister right now. I guess it depends on you but it is very hard to break them of the habbit another reason why i couldn't deal with my son sleeping with me is because he is a very violent sleeper i would wake with bloody nose or black eyes i looked like i was being abused and people would laugh when i told them my son did it while he was sleeping. they also have to learn these self soothing skills otherwise when they are older they won't know what to do if they happen to wake in the middle of the night and it can be real annoying having your five year old come in and wake you up from a deep sleep lol and i like my sleep i am up early and going strong all day between cleaning house and karate and gymnastics and mommy and me classes the only time i get to myself is at night and i enjoy it very much.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I agree with Joy, but I did respond on the Maternal and Child Forum.

[Linzola1]

He sleeps in the crook of my arm too. Did you ever wake up and have your neck and arm hurt so bad that you cried? Maybe its the way I sleep. Hmmm thanks for the advice! Your right he wont be a baby forever and I do love the cuddles!

[JoyRenee]

I'm personally not a fan of making babies cry like that. They just don't understand and all they want is for you to comfort them. I know this has worked for some people but my own personal opinion is that our babies need us and won't understand why we shut them in a dark room all alone. Out of sight, out of mind. They don't realize that you'll come back. You won't spoil him or teach him nasty habits to let him sleep with you.

My oldest was impossible to get to sleep. I tried letting her cry it out one night and she cried for three hours straight until she was hyperventilating. So this cycle started of me letting her sleep with us. She slept in our bed, in the crook of my arm, until she was 10-11 months old.

At that age she started getting big (we had a full-sized bed at that point in our marriage) and she was getting uncomfortable. She wanted to stretch out and roll in her own bed. So we started putting her down for naps in her crib and she did amazing. Then switched to night-time and she did PERFECT.

I got pregnant with her baby sister so she had to give up the crib. We got her a twin bed when she was 19-months old and she's been sleeping in a twin bed ever since (she's almost 4 now).

You won't create nasty habits. Take your time with Julian and when he is ready, he'll let you know. By a year old to 18-months-old he should be in his own bed and own room. Until then, enjoy the midnight cuddles! Before long he'll be a teenager...  and he definitely won't be in your bed then!  ;-)

[blueeyedtabbycat]

what is the "ferber method"???