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707563 tn?1626361905

Heated topics, vents, insults

Hi ladies -

As you know, from time to time, topics get heated. Recently, we have had threads on smoking that have gotten nasty quickly. I think we all know that smoking is bad for mom and baby, but this does not make it appropriate to insult or shame other members. I'm sure all our moms to be love their babies, and someone can make poor choices without that reflecting on their love for their babies. We all have things we'd like to change - weight, bad habits, etc., and shaming doesn't promote change, ever.

It isn't ever appropriate to insult another member, or to shame others. We are a support site, and we can't be supportive if members don't feel safe.

If you come across a topic that upsets you, it would perhaps be better if you just moved on to the next one.

Emily
14 Responses
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Avatar universal
Tia - We have moved that post to the appropriate forum and have a response posted for you. Sorry for the delay in response on that particular issue.

Thanks for your participation on Medhelp!
Helpful - 0
7763771 tn?1510501652
Emily- I have a post with no response from a moderator, I have just updated the app on my phone and it will no longer let me access all of the communities which are actually relevant to me (as I have already had my lo) just wondering if you may know another way I am able to access them. Tia
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Bump - as we've had some passionate posts as of late... including posts that are "I can't believe these people" posts.

Thanks for keeping it calm, understanding and supportive.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I read people's posts everyday, I come here to talk and ask questions and make friends with other pregnant mommies. Not to fight. People are enabled to make their own decisions on what they so with their life. And that shouldn't be something to hold against anyone here. So at I like everyone here that I've talked too. And would love to keep talking to everyone.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This is actually where i come to get away from my sadly stressful busy life. To talk to people who actually relate to literally all my problems and understand me. I have been embarraseed to post things and dont. But some always does. So i hate seeing people say meann harsh things to one another. Brings me down im thankful for all the mommies here.
Helpful - 0
707563 tn?1626361905
Please understand that the recent smoking threads are just one example of this happening. I'm sorry if it wasn't clear. This is about all heated topics, and there are many. Often, it starts out as a simple question, then goes downhill, but we are also referring to the follow up threads that people post about the same topic, stating that they can't believe people would smoke, even consider an abortion, consider not breast feeding, not circumsizing, or whatnot.

Hope this helps.

Emily
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its common sense. There's no reason for insults. I was 7 and knew smoking was bad for your health.
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Avatar universal
I believe the topic started off nonjudgmental she was just stating that it was not okay to smoke which other mothers were thinking it was. It was advice, she was not name calling nor belittling them. I also think that the ones that got offended shouldn't have commented if they didn't like it. Just like I remain respectful when they post things that they smoke, they should of just ignored it if they didn't like it.. Just saying.
Helpful - 0
4251679 tn?1370305531
Agreed. I feel we lose a lot of members because of situations like this. If its not the smoking posts its the age or vent ones, etc. If only we could all get along, or simply ignore what we do not agree with. It's not a battle of the keyboard ladies.
Helpful - 0
707563 tn?1626361905
Hi everyone -

You can disagree, and not be disagreeable. You can state your point without getting hateful, judgmental and shameful. You can discuss pretty much anything on this site, so long as you remain respectful.

Everyone on this forum is an adult. As adults, we are capable of sharing our points of view and not leave others feeling insulted.

Emily
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you Emily .......I'm so glad that someone said the appropriate words ......everyone here loves their children and smoking " although can be harmful"  doesn't mean that they love them any less!!!!! Im sure anyone of us on this forum would give our own lives for our children's :)
Helpful - 0
4928337 tn?1362751166
Also it can be stated in a non judge mental manner.
You can very easily share not only your personal preference and education on the topic without targeting anyone.
Facts are facts. Use those to your advantage. They are much better than name calling and or putting someone down. After repeatedly hearing factual responses towards the topic all with the same facts ones point comes across and not in an attacking manner.
Its okay to not agree with someone.
And its okay to voice your opinion even if you do not agree.
But do it cautiously. Hormones run high here. But this is for adults to be here for one another. Not bickering teenagers. Let's leave that to Facebook ladies.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ppl judge ppl....ppl said some nasty things about one of my posting and nothing was done...ppl like drama just need to get on with life we might not all like what other ppl say but doesn't mean we can't show them respect.........think about it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
^yay rational people not thirsting for blood!  How refreshing!
Helpful - 0
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