He's happy,but what's wrong?

[06Faith]

My bf is happy that we are having a baby. i'm going into my 12 week, don;t know the gender . He's hoping for a baby girl. He has been with me to the Drs apt & ultrasound, he asks questions to the dr regarding our health. Even the DR assistant says "how cute & lucky I got that he cares , so much about us" cz usually when the men go they're usually on their phone, or don't ask much.

He's always encouraging me to eat healthy, drink water and get my rest since I work as a Certified Nurse assistant (CNA), 8hrs a day, 5 days a week, always on my feet. tells me not to argue with my family and keep calm. He loves me, he's a nice guy, but I don't know what's wrong with him regarding Job wise?

He got laid off his job last week :( & we were planning to look for a cheap place to move in together. Since then he hasn't applied to no job! I keep telling him & start telling that I think : "He's not serious with me, he doesn't care about our baby, and doesn't want to try"

He gets mad at me, telling him that I'm putting him down instead of encouraging him. I do love him and we've been together thru bad and good times, but now that we're pregnant I expect more from him. I just want us to be ready for our baby & have as much money saved up as we can.

I just get frustrated  and I don't know what else to tell him ????
He says he will get apply soon , and get a job, but when ?? It gets me mad, sad, frustrated that he doesn't have a job at the moment specially because I know I'm gonna have to move out.

I'm always prepared if I'm gonna have to be a single mommy. I'm just going to have to work double hard.

Any advice, thank you .....

[joceeykittykitty]

Guys are emotional too but end up expressing,it like that, and that's the way my hubby once got. Do not be harsh, help him, that's what I'd do and it helped motivate him.  I'll look for jobs with him, I help build his resume etc etc. He's there with you so don't,think otherwise

[06Faith]

thank you ladies.

I know what i've told him hasn't been encouraging for him, and I do feel bad after I tell him those things. He does love me, he's a great guy.

I do plan now to help him out in looking for a job, even though I get stressed out .
I pray to God he finds something fast.

[squidbabeh]

I was in a very similar situation to you recently. My boyfriend was unemployed for about two months and wasn't very dedicated to finding a job. For a while he would sit and play Xbox live with his cousin. -.- I would nag too, and it caused fights, but finally a couple weeks ago he got a job at a gas station just to get by, and he has been working at his grandfathers company. For two months we had no money coming in. I tried not to be too stressful and pushy towards him, because his family gives him hell and calls him a bum and a child, etc. Finally he manned up though, and hopefully well be moving out next month.

But your bf may just be very overwhelmed by getting laid off and all the stress, putting him down constantly might make him lack motivation. At least it would to me, because it would almost make me depressed. You seem pretty prepared to end it, which in some ways is good that you have the emotional capability to be independent, but if you love him and he loves you and your baby, you got to tough it out in a situation like this. It might also be hormones but try to be as supportive as possible, he sounds like a great guy and you don't want to throw away your relationship for a couple weeks or even months of stress.

Try to help him find places to apply to and be as motivating as possible without coming off as negative.

[ericatoday]

Well I don't think what you're saying to him is very encouraging it is a little harsh. But he should step up his game and take it more seriously and he should be applying to at least a few places a day. He needs to man up real quick because babies don't wait for you to get a job they need things now.

[c_woody91]

My fiance got laid off almost 3 months ago now and we are pregnant with baby #2. He has a job lined up but isn't being proactive about it and it is frustrating but I know he will have a job before the baby comes. He didn't have a job until 2 weeks before our first son was born either but something hit him and he got his butt in gear that last month. I know it ***** but just let him know that you are frustrated and it is causing stress which isn't good for you or baby.