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266539 tn?1281402152

How to cope in the hard times?

I am having a hard time right now.  December is a hard month for us right now anyways, our baby would have been one years old this year on Dec. 11th.  My bestfriend is 31 weeks, another friend of mine is 22 weeks, one that is 25 weeks, one that is 34 weeks, and one that just had a baby 2 weeks ago.  I just feel so jelous, I think it is great that they are pregnant and having babies but I am jelous of that.  I wish our little one was here with us today but we can't change what happened.  I just feel so sad right now... my fiance has been upset the last few days and I just don't know how to make it easier.  Things get eaiser when nothing is going on but it gets hard again when it comes time for the birthday or close to when we miscarried and then it gets hard all over again.  I want to plant a tree once we have our own house and I go to my grandpas grave site to be close to my baby as well because my grandpa died dec. 7th 2 years ago and I feel like he is up in heaven with our little girl (never made it far enough to offically know but my heart knew it was a girl).  I just have a hard time coping during the hard times but when its not during those hard times I am able to cope well.  Does anyone have any ideas on what to do or what will help.  What is something that I can do on those hard days or something I can do for my fiance on those hard days... I feel like I can't really help him when he is upset... I can comfort him but its hard to make it better!  
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266539 tn?1281402152
I would love to get pregnant again but we are waiting until we get married her in the next year and half and at that point we will be financially stable and able to give our baby everything it need plus some.  I would love to have a little one now but I know its better for us to finish our degrees and then have kids.  1 year left for my fiance and close to the same for me as well so... I can wait and will wait but its just hard!  I know that will help because I feel so empty handed and everything!
Helpful - 0
435139 tn?1255460391
I went through this same thing last year..the jealousy and the bitterness and the 'why me/why us?'....Seriously, I know this sounds corny BUT I found renewing my faith to be the thing that helped me through.  I don't want to push religion on anyone but this is what worked for me and coincidentally the month that I let go of everything and assured God that my faith was in him and his will, was the month I was pregnant.
Helpful - 0
593810 tn?1251223030
I'm so sorry you've been going through some extremly hard times. Understand that jealousy is a normal feeling to have. You are still grieving, and that's healthy. I felt hte same way after i miscarried, Even when i watch movies that had pregnant women on it, i have to change the chanel and then i would just be in a horrible modd for the next day.
My advice to you, is to maybe see a counselor, or someone that you can open up to other than your husband. Sometimes getting an outside professional perspective can really help you cope with your loss. Nothing is wrong with the way you are feeling and thats what you need to come to terms with first. And then start looking into getting someone you can talk to. And bring your hubby with you, since it seems he needs support as well.
I wish you the best, Belive in yourself and everything will work itself out.
Helpful - 0
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