I would love to get pregnant again but we are waiting until we get married her in the next year and half and at that point we will be financially stable and able to give our baby everything it need plus some. I would love to have a little one now but I know its better for us to finish our degrees and then have kids. 1 year left for my fiance and close to the same for me as well so... I can wait and will wait but its just hard! I know that will help because I feel so empty handed and everything!
I went through this same thing last year..the jealousy and the bitterness and the 'why me/why us?'....Seriously, I know this sounds corny BUT I found renewing my faith to be the thing that helped me through. I don't want to push religion on anyone but this is what worked for me and coincidentally the month that I let go of everything and assured God that my faith was in him and his will, was the month I was pregnant.
I'm so sorry you've been going through some extremly hard times. Understand that jealousy is a normal feeling to have. You are still grieving, and that's healthy. I felt hte same way after i miscarried, Even when i watch movies that had pregnant women on it, i have to change the chanel and then i would just be in a horrible modd for the next day.
My advice to you, is to maybe see a counselor, or someone that you can open up to other than your husband. Sometimes getting an outside professional perspective can really help you cope with your loss. Nothing is wrong with the way you are feeling and thats what you need to come to terms with first. And then start looking into getting someone you can talk to. And bring your hubby with you, since it seems he needs support as well.
I wish you the best, Belive in yourself and everything will work itself out.