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289946 tn?1191293769

I need help and advice fast

im am a teen mother in September but am haveing a huge problem i dont know what to do my bfs mom wants me to get a DNA test done to prove hes the father after calling me a *****,**** and saying im no good and horrible and she wont stop putting me down and i feel if i do the test she will the same to my child and she keeps hurting me alot and i dont want her to do the same to my child. and shes labeling me as a ***** and stressing me out i donno if i should give up my beliefs and dignity and do it or stand strong and if i fallow my heart and do what i believe the father will be moved away by his mother
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Avatar universal
if you request a DNA test i was told that the father is the one who has to pay for it...at least thats the case here. my babys daddy says hes the daddy to me most of the time. and then tells the rest of the world i cheated on him and the babys not his. hes told me he doesnthing think its his cuz his EX whom i dont even kno, and have never seen, told him i cheated on him. HA. whatever i kno who my babys daddys is.. and hes paying for the dna test as soon as i have this baby. to prove him WRONG.

you dont have to get a dna test but i would recomend one if you want her to stop doubting you. if he doesnt doubt you...then yeah sure let her pay for it. its not cump change tho.
Helpful - 0
326590 tn?1296062449
Take the test. There is no reason why you shouldn't unless there is something to hide. You have more to prove by NOT taking it. The baby will be fine...They don't draw blood. You know he's the only guy you been with, I would take it just so I could prove her wrong. Not only that, but someone needs to help you provide for this child. His Mom should have kept better ties on her son and maybe you both wouldn't be in this situation. I know it takes two, but for her to judge you the way she has. Her baby's no saint. I wish you luck with this.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh hon... your baby is going to get a shot in their foot when they are born, and vaccinations at birth and all throughout their first year of life. Touching the place where they get a shot isn't a big deal. And like the other people said, it's a swab, not shot.

My daughter was born with a broken clavicle (collarbone) and I was afraid to hold her wrong, but the thing is, babies are very resilient!!! She's a perfectly fine and healthy 10 month old now. Not trying to scare you, but show you that even if it was a shot, your baby would be fine! It's only a quick poke and they do cry, more from shock than pain.

Anyway, paternity tests are expensive. I would tell her, "If you are willing to pay for the paternity test, I'm willing to allow my baby to be put through this. I do not need the paternity test becasue ______ is the only person I had sex with. You can trust me or pay for the test yourself."

And nikko is right! Kill her with kindness! Just try to talk with her, let her be involved, talk out her feelings. She's probably very hurt and frustrated and confused. AND GUILTY. No mom wants to think they didn't "parent right" and their child ended up pregnant at a young age.

I got preggo when I was 19 and now I have two little girls and I'm married. We're very happy. I'm so glad to see you taking charge of your responsibilities!!!
Helpful - 0
268356 tn?1236002604
The test if very harmless, just a quick swab in the mouth. Baby won't even realize it. They can probably do it right after the baby is born since your already at the hospital. Unfortunately, sounds like Mom has a case of "not my son, he's a saint" syndrome. Just try to ignore her the best you can. The stress is not good for the baby though so maybe saying something along the lines: "You are making this even more stressful than it already is, is there something I have specifically done to you to make you think I am such a bad person. And just to remind you before you answer that, we are going to have a long relationship once this baby is born. Is this how you want it to start out?". I was pregnant with my first at 17 and my own Mother was the one with the hurtful comments. I never spoke up. I finally told her how I felt after 7 years, we still don't talk much. What she did hurt me so bad that it is even hard now to talk to her. Let the bf's mom know that you don't want that kind of relationship with her. One she will think you are mature for handling it in this way and two it will stop her dead in her tracks if you kill her with kindness.
Helpful - 0
317019 tn?1532965586
the test is just a swab in the mouth...it is not painful at all

i had to have the test done with my son since his father did not want to accept him...a cotton swab and done....its really simple

depending on the state you live in before he signs the birth certificate...his mother could force a paternity test since he's still a minor...i say just do the test and dont be afraid

Helpful - 0
341551 tn?1266980730
I just have a question for you sweetie..this is kind of OT but I'm really curious. Did you just start having Sex and you accidentally got Pregnant? Or have you been having sex for years...and just got Pregnant? I'm just so curious because there's so many women on this forum who are older than you (me being one of them) who have been trying to get Pregnant for months...years...etc and can't seem too. And you're 15 years old and Pregnant..so I'm just curious if you've been having unprotected sex for a while or if this was like a first time thing..? I am just really interested, if you wouldn't mind.

As for your question...is there any way he is not the father of your baby? If not, than just take the test and satisfy her. You guys are so young, that his mom is going to be in your life regardless so you might as well make peace with this. As soon as she finds out he is the father, she'll accept it eventually. It may be against your beliefs, but you don't want anyone stressing you out at a time like this...I think it will make you feel better to get her off your back. Good Luck Hun and Congrats on your Pregnancy!
Helpful - 0
289946 tn?1191293769
i found out on sunday and im 6 weeks pregnant
Helpful - 0
289946 tn?1191293769
well shes acting younger then me and if i dont do the test she will move the father to athebaska and he knows its his hes the only person ive ever been with and his mother wants me to get the test as soon as the babys born and i dont want my baby to go threw that and i dont want to go a week with being scared to touch it in the wrong spot where the needle was when i first have him/her
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
When did you find out you are pregnant?
Helpful - 0
317019 tn?1532965586
the father can request a test...to shut his mother up you should consent to the test and be done with it...everybody needs to move past that

most likely she's having a hard time admitting to herself her teenage son got a teenage girl pregnant adn wants concrete proof...give it to her

if she's mean afterwards then let your bf know and make a decision from there
Helpful - 0
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