Aa
I still cant cope!
Tonight has been a rough night! I found out that someone I knew from high school is pregnant and she doesn't even know who the dad is and that is one thing that makes me so mad. My fiance and I lost our baby when people like this get to keep theirs. I hate hearing people I know are pregnant, I just HATE it! I am happy for them and all but I am so jelous. My best friend is pregnant and it is so hard to be around her because she is getting what I lost... it just isn't fair! It has been over a year since my miscarriage and it hasn't gotten any easier. I am just miserable seeing people pregnant or with little ones that are 9 months old and it is hard! I went and saw someone about it but I hated it and wont go back so I guess at this point I just suck it up but it is so hard!
Yea i understand... I feel fortunate to not have suffered a loss. But at the same time i was thinking i'd rather have done that than gone years thinking i was just plain incapable of getting pregnant at all. But yea the jealousy i had really bad and i wasnt mean to anyone but it was always there. and i was always wondering what was wrong with me and felt so inadequate and guilty, all i can say is im glad i was so patient and didnt give up because it has all been more than worth it.
I have tried to direct my anger and sadness into other things but it doesn't matter my mind always goes back to it. It is weird but since the miscarriage my "montra" has always only said "I'm pregnant" which I haven't been nor am I trying to be but it happend 3 or 4 times a day and it is always the same thing and I try and stop it but it doesn't stop no matter what is going on, what I am thinking about... I am just having a hard time dealing and would love to be pregnant again but it is definatly not the right time!
I dont think you need counseling. When I was ttc I was in so much pain and experienced all the stuff you're talking about, except I never had an m/c. I just couldnt get pregnant, for years we tried and now that it finally happened all those negative feelings are gone but I know that in my personal experience nothing could've helped with what I was feeling.
The pain, the anger and frustration, and the jealousy...its all so natural and as sad as it is it comes with the territory. Nothing anyone said or did helped how I felt the only thing that helped in the slightest was ranting about it and having supportive hubby and friends to listen to me and agree with me. They would tell me yes I deserved it more than a lot of other people and yes it was unfair... so basically just to be angry and jealous until i get the baby i deserve. So all i can say it waiting is all that helped me. Nothing will make you feel okay with not being a mom , nothing can fill that void and nothing anyone else can say or do will make it painless to see a pregnant lady of a woman with a baby, or to hear yet another undeserving irresponsible girl has become pregnant.
Just wait it out, i was bitter but patient. and I feel fine now, and it didnt poison me to feel that way its so normal!
The pain, the anger and frustration, and the jealousy...its all so natural and as sad as it is it comes with the territory. Nothing anyone said or did helped how I felt the only thing that helped in the slightest was ranting about it and having supportive hubby and friends to listen to me and agree with me. They would tell me yes I deserved it more than a lot of other people and yes it was unfair... so basically just to be angry and jealous until i get the baby i deserve. So all i can say it waiting is all that helped me. Nothing will make you feel okay with not being a mom , nothing can fill that void and nothing anyone else can say or do will make it painless to see a pregnant lady of a woman with a baby, or to hear yet another undeserving irresponsible girl has become pregnant.
Just wait it out, i was bitter but patient. and I feel fine now, and it didnt poison me to feel that way its so normal!
I have to say that im with you i had my first m/c in 1999......2nd m/c was June 2,2008 and 3rd m/c July 24,2008....Every time i see a preggo person i get mad also and all i want to do is cry...I have been with my soul mate for 19 years and we have been married for 12...neither of us have children but we want one so badly that it hurts...I held a friend of mine's baby this past sunday and all i could do was cry...she also had a m/c so she understood and told me to cry and hold that baby all i wanted to that it would get better and the pain in my heart would ease off but never go away....if you would like to talk you can add me to your list i will talk to any one that wants to talk im on here every day...I wish you luck and i also agree I hate counselrs also...good luck to you ....
Its important to find someone you feel comfortable with - if you didnt have success with one person, that doesnt mean there isnt someone you will have a repoire with and will help you get through the grieving process in a productive manner.
Honey I have to say I completely disagree with Spade. I did also have a miscarriage, but I did concieve right away and have a healthy baby boy, but I believe that everyone grieves in theor own way and I dont think that you need anything other than the love and support from friends and family. I would be happy to listen and PM with you if you just want to talk... ( I dont like counslers either) Have you been trying to concieve??/ PM me!
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