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384896 tn?1335294331

Omg it's a 3-ring circus at my house!!

This boy won't cut me any slack!
Infact both my kids won't cut me any slack!!

Aiden is constantly crying and crying and crying, and fussing and crying summore!

I can't get him to sleep in his crib for more than a few hours every night, and then once he wakes up and I change n feed him, he won't go back to his crib cuz he screams.
And ofcoarse then he wakes up his sister and then she's crying cuz she wants to get up n play. omfg.

He wants me to hold him ALLLLLL the time.
And I have to hold him upright against my chest/sholder.
The only time I can hold him laying in my arm is if I'm feeding him. Otherwise, he screams.

And unlike Ivy when she was his age, after a few minutes of screaming her lungs out, she'd get tired and fall asleep-
NOT AIDEN.
He'll scream and scream and scream and the second I pick him up-
shuts right up.
Ugh.

I dunno what to do about it!
He's going to the docs again tomorrow to see about some reflux medicine to see if it'll help his crankyness cuz he could have reflux issues cuz this boy barfs EVERYWHERE all the friggin time and it's sicknasty.
But he also toots n burps more than any baby I've ever seen. He could also be gassy.
...Then there's colick.
Oh boy.

That could be any one or any combination of ANYTHING that can irritated a baby and make them cry.

Or he could just be a spoilt lil brat like his sister and just wanna be held allllll the time.
Ugh.

So meanwhile while Aiden is screaming his head off and I gatta hold him 24/7 even in my sleep, Ivy's over there getting into EVERYTHING, not listening and being a stubborn lil terd!
Walking around the house sucking her thumb whining all hours that she's awake.

So while holding Aiden, and trying to keep Ivy outta everything, and clean, cook my kids food, pick up after them and pick up after my slob of a husband- I'm about ready to strangle the next person that walks into the same room as me!!

I'm about to TELL HIM somethin- just cuz his slob a$$ is workin, don't mean he can throw his dirty cloths all over the place and leave cups and dishes everywhere.
If he ever gets lost, I'll just have to follow the trail of dirty tube socks and empty coke cans to find him!
It ain't fair!
Thank GOD he's off tuesday and wednesday cuz guess what, MY A$$ IS SLEEPING IN!
That boy dunno what "Being tired" is he always pulls that one on me, "I'm tired! I worked all day!"
Sh*t... 12 hours on your feet slamming prison inmates around and being PAID FOR IT ain't NOTHIN!!!
PLUS he gets a full, UNDISTURBED full night's sleep!
I am up from 6am till about midnight EVERYDAY. And I never get to sleep for more than maybe 30-45 minutes at a time cuz Aiden loves to make mommy miserable it seems to be.
AND! I don't get PAID for it!
I cook, I clean, I keep this house tidy best as I can and all I get is a, "I'm tired!"
UGH!!!

Sorry I ranted. This was really only supposed to be about Aiden screaming all the time and Ivy being a lil terd. lol
33 Responses
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384896 tn?1335294331
That could be her problem. I dunno.
Shes found different ways to get me to know the basics of what she wants.
I still wish she could talk so she could tell me other things she doesn't know how to tell me.

THANKFULLY she's been really good these past couple days not counting last night cuz the two of them kept me up till 5am and I'm exhausted.
Hubby was nice enough to give my hips a nice good masage tho cuz they've been really bothering me yesterday.
Tonight if the kids cooperate and stay asleep for a lil bit, when hubby gets home around midnight we're gunna hop in the hottub. I haven't been able to get in it more than a few times in 2 years cuz I kept getting pregnant. lol I'm only 5 weeks PP but my inscision is doing really good and I don't think the hot tub'll hurt. We usually keep it at 101-102, so it ain't much hotter than I take my baths in. Plus Aiden will really enjoy my milk afterwards. Ivy used to love it after I got out of there or a really hot bath cuz my milk I imagine is really warm and it'd put her straight out. So maybe it'll do the same for Aiden.
Only thing that's gunna suck is gettin from the back door to the hot tub, and from the hot tub to the back door cuz it is COOOOLLLDDDD out. lolol

Thanks for the input. It's nice to have people that's been going through the screaming baby thing with me. Ivy never gave me much trouble when she was Aiden's age so I'm at a loss here. She was always pretty easy to figure out cuz she'd usually only cry when she was hungry or needed a diaper change.
Helpful - 0
1035252 tn?1427227833
Just a thought btw: you say Ivy's really advanced (and from what you described I completely agree!) Then she probably has the same issues that my daughter does....she's way ahead of her age group, and sometimes she gets frustrated when she can't communicate. She has the ideas in her head, and she knows exactly what she wants to communicate, but her vocabulary hasn't caught up. Gestures and baby words can only help so much and it frustrates her. SHe's not "whiny" but there are times when I can tell she wants to just break down and whine because I'm not understanding her.....I know you don't have the energy right now to increase your efforts to understand her but I think when you start getting more sleep and her vocabulary starts increasing, she won't act as whiny :).

sounds like your DH definitely needed his butt kicked. I don't condone physical "tiffs" between spouses but I think I would have hit him too LOL. and yeah I agree with smjmekg I HATE grocery shopping but sometimes if it means I can get out alone I jump on the chance. Find a chore he hates doing and offer to do it alone....then crank the radio up in your car and take a short detour on the way home :).
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676912 tn?1332812551
Breath girl!! D@MN! LOL. It'll get better as your son gets older, I can't tell you I know how you feel but I can say I'm glad you tell it like it is, cause we're TTC number two and DS will be just over two when the baby is born if I get pregnant this month. So THANK YOU! *HUGS* Try getting out for a little while, tell DH you're going for a walk, or take a long bath. You really sound like you need a good little break and some special time with my favorite three people~~Me, Myself, and I...even if it's just out to get groceries. Take some you time. And if it makes you feel better DS has been going through what your DD is going through, I think it's just that she's at that age...
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506820 tn?1295051333
Your situation with your newborn sounds EXACTLY the same as mine. I almost started crying when I read this post becasue I just went thru the same thing with my son. He is 9 months now. For the first 6 months or so of his life all he did was fuss and scream. He would continue to scream till I picked him up. I too had to hold him upright before he would stop screaming. I even had to stand. Somehow he knew when I wanted to sit down. He never liked the sling or Baby Bjorn so it was all me holding him as much as I could. I have to admit after a while it was exhausting to say the least. I couldn't even put him down to go to the bathroom. I never knew what he wanted. I tried everything and nothing worked. We tried acid reflux meds becasue he too spit up all the time (he still does...totally annoying). He is my first so I can't imagine having to deal with the screaming on top of attending to other children's needs. I would even call the doctor and say that my baby is screaming what should I do. I felt stupid calling about that but his screaming was just that it wasn't crying so I was concerned he was in pain. After reading a bunch or reading and researching I realized it wasn't collic or acid reflux. He never met all the criteria. With his screaming all the time (he would scream so hard sometimes that his sheets were wet from sweat) I finally had to talk to a counselor. I am not sure if I had PPD but whatever it was really threw me for a loop. I will never forget how hard those first  months were and I can sympathize with anyone going thru it. When a baby not only cries but screams it is really hard to handle. The emotional part really took a huge toll on me and my husband. I think even now my emotions and nerves are still in a state of repair.

I hope things get better for you and your family very soon. I can't imagine what you are having to deal with but I understand the screaming fully. Follow your instincs and do what you feel is best.

If you are interested in chatting/venting more about this feel free to message me.

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384896 tn?1335294331
The thing with my daughter whining is a different situation.
She is very advanced for her age. She's very very smart.
She tells me what she wants in her own ways. If she's hungry she goes into the kitchen and slaps her hand on the fridge. If she's thirsty she tells me "Bah" which I'm assuming means "Bottle" but she doesn't get a bottle anymore she gets a sippy. lol
She wants her diaper changed before my usual hourly check she'll go in the cuboard in the play room and bring me a diaper.
I run a schedule with her. I try to make sure everything happens around the same time everyday.
She started this constant whining about a month or so before I had Aiden and it hasn't gotten any worse since I've had him so I know it's not cuzza him cuz she gets PLENTY of attention. I still play with her as much as I always have sept now I gata do it with another baby in my arm. I can't hold her as often anymore because it's a mission to pick up a 28 lb toddler while you already holding a really wiggley and floppy one. lol

As for hubby, he's a novel all on his own. Before I strolled along "mommy" always did everything for him. And now I have to cuz he won't. He's 20 years old and pulls **** a 15 year old does. I love him to death but sometimes I just wanna bash his head into the wall. lol
We actually got into a physical fight the other day cuz I was screaming at him to get the h ell outta bed n get ready for work and he smacked my arm really hard cuz he was mad at me, and ofcoarse my hormones took over with a combination of stress and anger and I started beating his a$$ and it just turned into this big thing where we were rolling around in the bed smackin the c rap outta eachother. lol
It's funny now looking back at it but at the time I was ready to kill him.
I've grown so used to picking up after him that it doesn't even phaze me anymore, but the fact of the matter is is that he doesn't even thank me for it.
I can't remember the last time I heard a "Thank You" from him.
Yeah he works, but he works 8-12 hours a day 6 days a week, gets 15-30 minute breaks twice a day then gets to walk away from his job at the end of the day. AND he gets days off.
I don't wanna hear that, "I'm tired" sh*t cuz my job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and I NEVER get to take a break, have days off, etc.

Then when we were taking a shower the other night he had the NERVE to tell me that I don't give him no room to breathe!
Like wtf is that supposed to mean!
He says we fight all the time cuz we spend to much time together.
No we don't we fight all the time cuz he stays doin stupid sh*t that p*sses me off!
He says it's not fair cuz I won't let him go out n what not with his co workers after work. And I tell him cuz I want you home to help me with these babies that YOU are partially responible for!
He says that he never gets to do ANYTHING.
And I'm like how do you think I feel??
Atleast he gets to get away from the house everyday and interact with different people.
He says to let him go out, and then I can go out another time while he watches the kids and I'm like, "Uh no- with who I HAVE NO FRIENDS HERE!!"
I'm in a foreign land because of HIM. I moved 1800 miles away from home and my life for HIM. And he's acting like everything's MY fault.

Ugh I can't even talk about this anymore right now I got myself all good n mad now.
ttyl
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
Here's my thing...you have a very young daughter who was #1 for all this time and now she has to take a back seat to her brother.  She most likely whines because she's trying to get your attention and has no other form of communication.  She's not spoiled, nor a whiney baby, she's just a normal child.  My son whined all throughout the first year of his life because he didn't know how to speak and tell me what he wanted.  Once he started picking up words, he stopped whining and used his words.  No one said you were neglectful, I think a lot of us understand your frustration but you have to understand that these are children and they don't always behave the way we want them to.  My son is 2 and throws horrible tantrums, but that's what they do because again, they lack the ability to communicate.  Your son isn't spoiled either and won't become spoiled, he just likes to be held, that's his personality.  He likes the bonding and comfort.  I could totally understand if you thought your daughter was spoiled if she was 5 years old and refuses to walk and wants to be carried but your daughter is still very much a baby.  She's not even 2 years old.  I'm sure you are frustrated and exhausted and yes your husband made these babies with you, he needs to help you.  I think about 90% of the women on these forums are the main caregivers of their children while their lazy husbands/bf's/fiance's take back seats.  Just ask any of us who does the majority of the work and we will all say we do.  It caused a lot of tension amoung me and my fiance as well, I felt like I was a single parent.  It's all about communication though, how you approach him about it.  Tell him you need time to yourself.  Give him the kids and you leave.  Don't let him push it on to you, if he doesn't like it than too bad.  If you want to nap than give him the kids, go to the bedroom and lock the door behind you.  It does get easier, my son now runs to his dad for everything, all I do is laugh because now he can't get out of not helping out.  So I get to relax while his father does all the work....lol.  It will get easier, please make sure though that you are on a reliable birth control since the last thing you need is to have a third baby so close in age.  Good luck.
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284738 tn?1283106819
things happen. they will always happen. I just spent 5 weeks of my life in the niccu with my daughter, praying every single day that she will be fine.  She is finally home and is it tough? hell yeah.. especially since she is hooked up to some machines that i have to deal with at home. I have a 18mth old daughter as well. my husband works 18 hrs a day.. he is gone from 3 am until 8pm 5 days a week.. we live alone so i have no other help.  My first daughter had aweful colic so i know how frustrating that can be, but you are the mom, you are the one that those kids are looking at for support, for comforting. You are their everything right now.    my first daughter is very demanding, my ped said thats just part of her personality. You got to find a balance, both of your kids need you.
As for your husband, he needs to grow up.. he is a dad now.. not to only one child but to two.  This i worked all day im tired **** would not fly in my house. my husband knows better to even say something like that.. he got on top of you and got you pregnant correct? then its his responsibilty to help you with the kids.  I would tell him to man up or get out.. cus honestly do you really need the drama he is bringing into both you and your kids life?  

I guess my point of view is a little different considering i almost lost my daughter.. count your blessings because some people aren't as lucky as you are.
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384896 tn?1335294331
Thank you for understanding.
I don't have PPD. I had it the first 3 weeks or so after I had my daughter and this isn't anything like it.
What I'm experiencing is lack of sleep.
I'm exhausted and I get irritated extremely easily when I'm exhausted.
It's hard to work with hubby because he works from 2 till midnight, and if he works overtime he doesn't get home till after 4am. And I can't make him get up in the morning so I can sleep in cuz we can't afford for him to be tired and slacking at work and lose his job.

It's irritating because his mother opted not to work so she could stay home and help me with the babies, and I've yet to get any help.
And now she's going back to work because she can't stand my daughter because all she does is whine.
So I'll be left home alone in the middle of the woods with no car and no means of transportation if something were to happen and that's been getting to me aswell.

I have WAY too much on my plate right now and I dunno how to get everything organized.
I'm sure things will get better once I'm done breastfeeding, start working and have a car of my own.

You say to spoil myself sometimes too and I wish I could, but I never have the time.

On hubby's days off if I'm lucky he'll watch the babies while I go take a nap, but he's natorious [[sp?]] about when I ask him to watch the babies while I nap, I'll have just doazed off, and he ends up leaving them in the room with me, closing the door and going off n doing something else, so once they start crying, I gatta get right back up.

He's gotten alot better with them, but it's not as good as it SHOULD be. He helped make them, he can help take care of them. His job as a husband and a father is not just to go to work and make money. He has home responsibilities too. He works, but that doesn't mean to be a slob at home and make my job even harder. Or change a diaper here or there. I'll be if I ever get him to feed Ivy and have him finnish feeding her. He always gets me to do it with the "She won't let me feed her" excuse. What's he gunna do if I'm not home? Let her starve??
It's just never ending. And I know with having kids it never is, and I know there's single mothers out there trooping all by themselves, but I'm not in that situation and I'm living like a single parent when I shouldn't be.

I threatened to leave him the other day when he spent OUR XMAS MONEY on porn magazines. I told him if he didn't get rid of them I was leaving him because that just blew my top off.
He ended up selling them to his dad.
Thank god.
If I got those in my hands I woulda burned them cuz I'm completely anti-porn.

It's very stressful. Money's tight, my relationship is in a hardspot right now, I've got two screaming babies in my ears all day every day, and now I just developed a cold/sinus infection.
These past few month have NOT been my cup of tea.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't think anyone is assuming you are abusive or neglectful. Re-read your original post as though someone else was writing it and you may see why women, most of whom are mothers themselves and incredibly protective, might be thinking, "What?!"

I understand it gets tiring (re: your original vent). Hang in there!
Helpful - 0
171768 tn?1324230099
i am also sorry that you felt attacked. If you go back and read your original post, especially from the perspective of a stranger, you may understand why these misconceptions exist. Sounds like he's colicky- you may want to research colic and learn some hints to manage it. Can't cure it, but some tricks may help a little until he outgrows it. You may also want to play around with the timing of your cigarettes, since there is very strong evidence that breasfed babies of moms who smoke are much fussier and more likely to be colicky. I think it takes 90 minutes for 1/2 the nicotine to leave your system, so if you smoke do it immediately after a feed. That way the baby will get less nicotine and perhaps be less fussy. While nicotine relaxes us, it upsets baby's tummy and causes aggitation.

best of luck and remember that all many of us have to go on is the content and tone of what you post. I like how ashelen described it- the tone of the original post sounded like you were drowning. Your response, however, is encouraging. This f-you attitude is much stronger and perhaps writing it was even therapeutic for you :)
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I understand your reaction to all of this, and I just wanted to say that I get what you mean.I do NOT think you neglect or abuse your kids, I just wanted to emphasize that it IS okay to spoil your boy at this stage....but then, that's in my experience. Also I did feel it was important to emphasize that it appeared to me that you really need treatment for your depression, and PDD is way worse and far more dangerous than regular depression, which is bad enough. I didn't get a feeling of neglectfulness or abusiveness from you, but from your whole writing "voice" i just got the image of someone completely overwhelmed and upset by her circumstances which, yes, most of us are especially with one young toddler and a newborn, but at the same time you seem even more depressed than I would expect is normal.....I just want you to get the help you need. I don't think you're a bad mom. When I said spoil your kids, I neglected to mention "spoil yourself as well" which you should definitely do once in awhile to keep your sanity. I'm sorry you felt so attacked:(.
Helpful - 0
384896 tn?1335294331
And another thing about being spoiled, yes babies CAN get into a habit of being held all the time and eventually want nothing but.
I went and am still going through this with my daughter who is now 14 months old and I'll probably end up with the same problem with my 4 weeks old son. So far hes doing the same exact thing my daughter did to me. He's on the Reflux medication now and although his fussyness has lessoned, he still does the crying and shutting up as soon as I pick him up, and cries as soon as I sit him back in his bouncer or swing. He seems to like to be held and I'm not the only one in my family whose gone through this.

And I DON'T tell my newborn to "Shut Up."
I'd be full of myself if I said I were the only parent that would like a screamin baby to hush when you're doing everything you can for them to get them to simmer down and it ain't workin.

Helpful - 0
384896 tn?1335294331
Okay for all of you who are misunderstanding what I'm saying and assuming I'm negleting my children you're completely off the track.
I take very good care of my kids, all of my attention is towards them 24/7.
NO IT WILL NOT HURT MY KIDS TO CRY ONCE IN A WHILE.
My daughter does infact throw fits for no reason and walks around whining all day for no reason. I brought her time and time again to the doctors thinking something was bothering her and he himself told me THERE'S NOTHING WRONG, if you can comfort her, let her cry.
Inwhich I do because even holding her doesn't cut it most of the time.
She's a whiney baby and there's nothing I can do about it. Some babies whine more than others. What do you want me to do.

My newborn to y'all who seem to think I'm just setting him down all the time and letting him scream his top off, are also completely off track.
I hold him throughout most of my day. I had to do all my christmas shopping with him in my left arm and dragging my shopping crat behind me with my right because he was crying and wanted to be held.
I often feed both of my kids at the same time, breastfeeding on one side, and using my free arm to spoon my daughter's food into her mouth.

I sleep with him in my arm almost every night.
I cook with him in my arm, I use my computer with him in my lap. I crochet with him in my lap or arm. My MIL and I like to work puzzles and I often have to hold him while I'm doing that.
If I could hold him n shower at the same time I'd probably be doing that too.
But if there's something I have to do where he cannot be near me, like while I'm using household cleaners or I'm out for a smoke, if I know I won't be too long, or if I'm losing my patience, then it will not hurt him to sit there and cry for a few minutes while I'm doing whatever or blowing off steam away from my children,

I DO NOT, and if I have to repeat myself, **I DO NOT** mistreat, neglect or abuse my babies.
I was abused and neglected as a child and I've learned from my parents' mistakes and refuse my children to be exposed to any such situation.

I love both of them very very much. And although I get very frustrated and overwhelmed sometimes, I would NEVER take it out on them.

And for those of you offended by my language, I'm sorry you feel that way but it's the way me and my family talk.
We all call our kids terds, goobers, boogers, etc.
There's nothing wrong with referring to my toddler as a lil terd. It's better than referring to her as a "Lil sh*t" like I often hear other parents actually CALLING their children to their faces.
I do not address towards my daughter as, "Terd." It's just a name we use when referring to our kids when they're being stubborn or are misbehaving.

When I address her I use her name or her nickname I call her Sugar or Toogers. I never use fowel language in her presence either because she mimiced "Mother F*****" one day when I called her daddy that and that was the cut off right then n there when she was 12 months.

I have alot of emotional problems I will admitt. I am slightly depressed because of my living situation, I'd like to be out on my own instead of living with hubbys parents. But we can't afford it right now.
I have OCD and anxiety.
I have a problem with my temper, so if I lose patience I'd rather set them down and walk away for a few minutes so it doesn't go any further than that.
But none of those are causing me to be spiteful towards my children. I do not resent my kids. I will admitt I wished we wouldn't have ended up having kids this early, but they're here and I love them. It is not their fault that they are here, and I would never take it out on them.

But I do not appreciate all of y'all who are making assumptions, accusations or some of you I felt like you were bashing me, I do not appreciate that. I am a VERY good mother, I am happy to have my kids healthy and thriving, but I am not so happy with some of the things they do. And as a mother I have every right to get frustrated especially when I have a most of the time useless husband and am living like a single mother when I'm NOT a single mother.
Alot of us use this forum to rant about our kids and I don't see everyone else getting bashed.

Now if I were beating up my kids and letting them go dirty and starved, that'd be one thing, but my babies are NOT without. they have a better lifestyle than I ever had and I plan to keep it that way.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off strong but I'm a little dissapointed about how some of you reacted and apparently didn't understand half of what I said.
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280369 tn?1316702041
I have to agree with what the ladies have said here. I just wanted to share with you something I went through with my son. Since he was born, he wanted to be held ALL the time and on my shoulder was the best position for him. I always thought he was colic and really gassy or in pain. I would complain to my husband about not sleeping, and how much he used to scream. He would scream and never sleep for more than an hour at a time. I was terribly tired and didn't know what to do. Now I am not saying anything is wrong your son (maybe he is colic), but my son did end up having a rare liver disease and that is why he was always crying and wanted to be held. He was in pain. It broke my heart that I got so upset with him at times. And obviously he couldn't tell me, only by crying. And here I thought he just wanted attention all the time, but I was wrong. We have a long road ahead of us and I cherish every moment now with my children. It has really changed my frame of mind and how I deal with my children now. Since his surgery, he has been such a pleasant baby and finally started sleeping more and even now I can't let him cry for long at all because he could irritate his organs or possibly have a bleed inside. The truth is, babies cry and will cry a lot. We are moms and we are to be there to calm our babies.
My house is turned upside down these days and I'd rather let the dishes pile up and not clean to spend time with my kids. My husband doesn't do dishes or clean really, but I don't let it bother me anymore. He does work all day installing all kinds of flooring. It's a labor intensive job and I shouldn't expect him to come home and clean for me when I have been home all day. Clean when you can. Get a sitter for Ivy and just spend time with Aiden and cuddle him and play with him, get some one on one time. The first few weeks after my son was born, I had to give Jeremiah to my inlaws a few times a week so I could just get some sleep and just focus on Jesse more. Don't feel bad asking for help. You can't be superwoman!! I'd love to be, but I know I am not, I actually need help. You do need a break once in a while, so I hope you have someone around you who can help you out. My husband comes from a large family, so I always ask his brothers or sisters to come over and help me as well.
Hey, hang there!! Soon enough you will look back and think wow, it's wasn't so bad. It's all worth it!! =)  (((HUGS)))  I know it's tough!!
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I also wanted to agree with the person who said you might want to see about PPD....there's another post from when you were pregnant with Ivy in the teen pregnancy forum which showed a lot of hostility and resentment about your pregnancy and I don't blame you (please don't think I'm bashing you for a 2-year-old post) but it indicates to me that you may have severe depression that you're not dealing with and if you were treated you might find life looks a lot rosier and a lot less overwhelming....please consider it <3
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1035252 tn?1427227833
The ladies posting before me have put it perfectly....I remember crying for days after my daughter was born, because I was so exhausted. I had never even HELD a baby before she was born, so I had NO idea what I was in for, and after delivering her I bled so much my iron was 4 and my blood pressure was 60/40 which is almost dead. The next 3 weeks were so exhausted and painful (i tore from uterer to anus as well as up almost to my cervix) that I did nothing but cry and shake, and every time my daughter woke up to be breast-fed I felt like my mind was slipping and I was going to lose it. But then she would drift off in my arms and the tears would become joyful because I knew how close I came to dying just as she took her first breaths. It really put things in perspective. I know the first few weeks are going to be hell with an almost-two-year-old and a newborn, but remember what's important and it will help you through the hardest times.

Hang in there, and SPOIL those kids ROTTEN. right now ivy needs reassurance and the baby needs 24/7 spoiling I didn't put my daughter down for like 2 months and she's very well-adjusted and displays very little "spoiled" behavior at 15 months, so I don't regret it one bit. Newborns need spoiling, it's the only time in his life you can spoil him shamelessly and people will tell you you're doing it right :)
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145992 tn?1341345074
I don't think motherhood is easy for anyone.  I remember being so tired I would sit up feeding my son and crying hysterically.  I was wondering when he was ever going to sleep through the night.  My fiance was useless, I did all the work and was resentful towards him but never my baby.  I was also getting responses from him and other old school parents on parenting...telling me that I would spoil my son if I didn't put him down or let him cry it out.  I remember my fiance telling me he would be spoiled if I put him in our bed to sleep, and remember him getting on my case when he caught me and our son sleeping in our bed.  After awhile I told him if he didn't like it than he can see himself out of our house.  My bestfriend dealt with the same attitude from her husband and so she sent me a book that saved my sanity.  It is called "The Baby Book", it taught me about attachment parenting and about evening fussers and collicky babies.  It was my life line and I actually would read my fiance paragraphs from the book to show him that you can't spoil a baby.  He learned a lot from it as well.  I know you don't have much time to read but it may help you and give you some ideas that will help you during the tough newborn stage.  Just know, motherhood is a 24/7 job and although you wind up getting more sleep as they get older and your child becomes more independent, it is always a tough job.  But it is a blessing.
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229760 tn?1291467870
I am not even sure if you are going to respond to this if you do I am sure it will be in anger. We just want you to realize how lucky you! Your little girl is not a terd and I can't even imagine telling my child must less my infant to "shut up"!

Be a Mommy!

Tired- good for you for kissing that baby through all the hardship and I know your little one must feel so loved!
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171768 tn?1324230099
it's no secret that my little one was difficult. colic is a terrible, draining thing that drains you physically, mentally, and emotionally. But everytime she woke me to eat in the middle of the night (every 2 hours!) i actually took a moment, kissed her head and thanked god for her. i know it sounds hokey, but it helped me get through it. i'd think of those who weren't lucky enough to be losing as much sleep as i was.

what was most difficult for me with a toddler and colicky infant was not the impact it had on me. instead, i felt so helpless and sad for my kids. for my screaming infant who i couldn't comfort. for my toddler who got chicken nuggets tossed at her in front of the tv if i had a moment. but, we survived and while it's still a bit stressful, 3 month later my toddler is doing great as a big sister and the baby continues to improve.

i don't want to sound harsh- as if i'm simply saying suck it up. but you're their mommy and this is your job, what you signed up to do. Instead of calling your daughter a terd and saying you want your newborn to shut up, reach out to the people on this forum for guidance and advice. Look at it differently. Ask, how can I make my toddler feel confident and comfortable admist this turmoil? or ask, how can i help my poor newborn feel secure and well enough to stop screaming and be put down? I suspect that your whole family, including YOU, will feel better if you view this situation differently. I also agree that you may want to look into whether or not you are experiencing postpartum depression. you come across as more than just overwhelmed- you seem to resent your kids and the impact they are having on you.

good luck, and i hope things settle down
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229760 tn?1291467870
I am with Tiredbuthappy and Joy, this is just so heartbreaking. Babies CANNOT be spoiled. I know your day is busy but man, take some time to hold your son. Let him know that you are there for him and comfort him like he deserves.  

My first son passed away at 7wks due to a heart condition and I only got to hold him 3 times. The third and final time was when he was taking last few breathes in my arms. I would do anything to hold again, but I cannot. My arms still ache for him. But because he was in the hospital I could not just pick him up anytime like you can!

He did bless me with his beautiful little brother named Cruz. Cruz is four months old and he spends every chance I get in my arms. He is actually sleeping on me right now as I type.  

Please understand how lucky you are to have two beautiful healthy children. I know you are a young mom, but you are the only mom they have.  Many women on this forum would trade spots with you in a heartbeat, so just remember that!

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145992 tn?1341345074
I am also a little upset reading this.  Neborns don't manipulate us, they can't be spoiled.  He's trying to communicate with you because crying is his only verbal skill.  Your daughter is also desperate for attention and is used to being the baby.  She's not at an age where she can understand since she herself is still very young.  She follows you around because you are her mommy and she needs you.  I understand how overwhelming this all is, my son is in his terrible 2's and I can't even imagine having to care for him and a newborn at the same time, but it won't last forever.  Hopefully the reflux meds kick in and your son will be much more comfortable.  I used a baby bjorn and my son was a big boy and it was ok.  I had some back issues but I dealt with it.  I would also look into some meds for post partum depression.  I agree with tired, let some of the cleaning and cooking go and don't worry about your husband.  He's an adult and can fend for himself.  I would also inform him ahead of time that at 8 pm you will be leaving him with the kids and you are going to soak in the tub for about a 1/2 hour.  
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Avatar universal
I'm w/ tiredbuthappy. This post breaks my heart on so many levels.
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1121273 tn?1325367975
lmbo!!! sooooo true!!!!
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964860 tn?1264888861
On a lighter note, you should post this on the teen pregnancy concerns forum...but scare a few people lol.
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