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561451 tn?1257476350

Pray for my SIL PLEASE!!!

My SIL had her baby January 10, 2009.  Yesterday she woke to her beautiful little daughter not breathing.  Her heart had been stopped for 30 minutes before they got her revived!  She wouldn't and couln't breathe on her own.  They had her on the machines for 6 hours, while she sat there and bawl her eyes out with the only comfort I could give her was to cry with her!  They told her there was less than a 10% chance she would even make it.  Finally, after the 6 hours, she decided it was better for everyone if they pulled the plug.  She made it 15 minutes in my SIL's arms before she passed away!  

I sat there with her, trying in everyway to comfort her, and she held on for dear life to her little girl for 8 more hours!  And she finally let her go.  My heart is with her, and she isn't (my SIL) isn't doing good what so ever.  When her Grandma died 4 years ago, 4 days later she took an entire bottle of excedrin pm and ended up in the hospital not knowing where she was or how she got there.  The stupid hospital gave her percocets for the pain of losing her daughter.  And now we're all taking turns watching her.  She needs your prayers to get through this tragedy!  

I feel guilty about being around her since our babies would have been closer than anything, and so does my husband.  But if you guys have any advice that I could give her, or words of excouragement I would appreciate it!  

R.I.P. Sophia Joleen 1/10/09 - 1/18/09
45 Responses
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147932 tn?1226966110
i'm so sorry to hear this, i'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers...
if u need anything i'm here to talk ash.
Helpful - 0
558728 tn?1275442570
Oh my goodness! That is the saddest thing I have heard in long time. I can't even imagine how and what she's feeling. Her and her family are in our prayers.
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287246 tn?1318570063
That makes me cry hearing this.  I cannot imagine.  And I mean that I cannot imagine......I am so very very sorry.  Please tell her we are all praying for her.  May God give her comfort in her time of need........I wish I had words, but I just don't........
Helpful - 0
143123 tn?1274300825
I'm so sorry!  She and her family are definitely in my prayers!  Personally, since I've had 2 losses, but nothing like this where I actually delivered to term...there are no words that can help right now.  Just be there for her...through her ups and downs!
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Avatar universal
I am crying for you, for her, for the baby---- I AM SO SO SO sorry!
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349463 tn?1333571576
I am so sorry for your whole family. I can't imagine how hard this must be on all of you. You will all be in my prayers.
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Avatar universal
Bless your hearts! I am tearing up right now, I will pray for your family!
Helpful - 0
650636 tn?1293454560
I'm sorry I don't have advice, but my heart goes out to you and your family! Please let her know that we are all praying for her and she will be in our hearts!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My thoughts and prayers are with you all.  
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435139 tn?1255460391
Oh my!  This is an absolute nightmare!  There aren't words or anything to say how horrific this is and I will ask God for the right words so that I can pray for everyone involved!
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561451 tn?1257476350
Thank you ladies!  We just got back from the funeral home, to plan out the funeral.  And I was trying my hardest to keep it together for her in there, and I couldn't.  She is way way way to upset to make a decision and her mom and Grandma are trying their hardest to get the best of everything.  

She told me to take all of the diapers she had, and clothes and I feel so bad.  I know she doesn't want to see the stuff, but I would rather her take all the clothes and stuff back to get money for her!  Should I just hold onto the stuff for her?  
Helpful - 0
364288 tn?1300144506
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!! She is in my prayers right now!! I will continue to pray for her as she goes through this tough time!!
Helpful - 0
218701 tn?1248226255
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this extremely difficult time. I'll ask God to give you the courage and strength to get through it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Take is from her and hold onto it, maybe later on she will want some of it back to remember her precious baby. What a tragedy. I honesty could not imagine losing a baby. I just read about a old friend of mine who I havent spoken to in a long time had a baby girl and she died in her sleep right next to her mommy at only 7 weeks. Things like this make me sooooooooooo sad to hear about. My heart aches for her.
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
As mother who held my son in my arms while he took his last breath, there is nothing you can say to her. Even when people try to comfort you it feels as though they are mocking you, but you know in your heart they are not. The best thing for you to do is give her space if she needs space or be there every moment she wants you too. Some days I just pushed people away and other days I needed everyone around me.  I suggest that she find a support group, I attend a group for parents who lost infants and this has been my life saver.  She will find comfort in her Baby Angel. Her little girl will never leaver her side. Baby Angel Cooper makes sure of this and so will her sweet one!!!!

One more thing, do not tell her that God only gives you what you can handle. This is a severe slap in the face.  I would lay low with the religious talk, believe me it hurts more than it helps.  

I am here if you need to talk or if you need any advice. Just as you though I am still lost for words, there is nothing that can bring her comfort expect for time.  Please let her know that there is no time limit on grief.  
Helpful - 0
730826 tn?1317943334
Awwww Im so sorry to hear that. There really isnt any advise I can think of other than be there for her and let her know all the support she has.
Helpful - 0
287246 tn?1318570063
I am glad you saw this thread.  I was hoping you would......I also hope Asking4aMiracle sees it also.

My heart is with you all........
Helpful - 0
561451 tn?1257476350
Thank you!  I actually heard her cousin tell her that god only will give her what she could handle, and I wanted to smack her cousin in the face for that!  I will let her know about a support group though, that is a wonderful idea!  

I will hold on to all the clothes and stuff for her, and wait for her to ask for them back!  The last thing I would want to do is dress my baby in something that was hers, and have her cry because of it!!!  =)

The sad part is, we have to wait up to three months to find out why she passed
Helpful - 0
229760 tn?1291467870
Do not give her stuff away. Just simply pack it up and one day when she has another beautiful little girl give it back to her. Believe me she would be honored to dress her daughter in the clothes of a Baby Angel.  

If you have not already just pack everything away, anything you might find her house. Bottles, toys, etc and just hold onto to it. My sister did this and packed everything in Cooper's room, that way when he becomes a big Angel Brother we can use it in is honor. They way I know she would too.  

She is not going to ask for help. The last thing she will want it is to impose. Just be there for. Help with grocery shopping, making dinner and even planning the arrangements. Her life is going to be very hard for a very long time.  She does not need to be worried by petty decisions.  

I suggest that you and your family read books on grief that way you know how to talk to her. The smallest most innocent thing can hurt like a dagger in your heart.  

I would be more than happy to give you my email address if you feel like you or your sister in law might ever want to talk.  I will send you a pm if you want. I do not want you to feel like I am trying to control this situation, but this is still a fresh wound for me and I know what she can and cannot handle from personal experience. A good support system will make you or break you.  And you are already of to a great start. You might not get any credit immediately, but me believe you are not going unnoticed.

Take care,
Rachel
Helpful - 0
376148 tn?1309899577
omg i do not know what to say..i am complelty speechless....i am soo sorry you and you family are going through this...i am espically sorry for your sil! MY prayers are with everyone...i am soooooooo soooo sorry!! I wake up afraid everyday that something like that will happen and i cant imagine how i would get through it...i have no words for you to say...just be there for her..but again dont forget to take care oof yourself anf that little one you have inside you hun!! My heart goes out to everyone!! Again so sorry!
Helpful - 0
694164 tn?1333145988
Its taking every part of me to stop myself from crying. Please give my condolences to your SIL, Im so very sorry & you are all in my deepest thoughts & prayers.
Slept tight Sophia Joleen xXx
Helpful - 0
363110 tn?1340920419
Thats so sad. It always makes me tear up when I hear about a baby, parent, or family member who's had this happen to them.
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225036 tn?1294509400
I am so very sorry that your sil and your family has to go through such a terrible tragedy.  I will be praying for all of you.
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Avatar universal
What an awful awful nightmare.  I am so sorry that she (and your family) has to endure this.  :(  I have been wondering how you have been, too.  I hadn't seen many recent posts from you.  
Helpful - 0
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