Pregnancy after a miscarriage

[Loz560]

I'm now 5 weeks pregnant, but really struggling to cope. I had a miscarriage back in March this year, the miscarriage happened 2 weeks before my wedding and i'm not sure I had chance to really come to terms with it. I can't help now but really panic over every little pain or ache i'm convinced its the start of a miscarriage. I feel like I'm just waiting for it to go wrong.

Does anyone have any advice on how i can deal with this?

[HeatherLF16]

Forgot to mention that this site has helped me tons.  Just talking to others that are going through the same situation is theraputic.  Take Care!

[HeatherLF16]

Just wanted to tell you that I am in the same boat as you.  Just found out right before thanksgiving and I am about 5 weeks along.  Had a miscarriage back in June.  Went in for my almost 12 week scan, and found out my baby had died at 8 weeks.  Every little thing worries me.  Part of you wants to be happy and excited/optimistic, the other half doesn't think you will make it to term again.  I try to cope on day at a time by telling myself this:
There are women on here that not only have miscarriages just like us (then go off to have healthy children) but there are woman that cannot even get pregnant.  No matter how bad we have had it there are others that have it worse
I also think that the odds are with us.  Doing some research less than 5% of woman who miscarry have a 2nd miscarriage in a row.
Lastly, it will be what it will be.  It doesn't matter if we worry or not.  It is natural to worry though, all just part of being a parent doesn't just start after they are born.  
My due date is next month and it still makes me sad.  I will never forget the baby I lost, but also know I deserve to enjoy my pregnancy.  
Let me know if you would like to chat with someone going through what you are.  Best of luck to you.

[tobbeyj]

You are not alone. Hubby and I have lost 2 babies in the last year. It has been heartbreaking. We too are curently preg and now at 24 weeks. I remember that I would not even think about this preg for the first 12 weeks as I was in terrified denial and did not want to form an attachment. I had a friend email me and tell me one thing that stuck with me the whole time. She said that when she lost her baby, she too never thought she could forget the pain. She was right...you cant forget the pain. The other thing she told me is -- well she now has a healthy baby girl and she said if there was one thing she could do differently and feel guilty about now is that she did not enjoy her pregnancy with her daughter and now she has that regret. I never though about this preg like that. Also I kept on telling myself that just because I mc'd before doesnt mean it will happen again and chances of it happening again are slim. I talked myself through it making sure I did everything I needed to do to make sure I cared for this baby 100%. Remind yourself that the more you stress, the worse off it is for baby. I know this sounds easier said than done but we are strong and ca  get through it. You have one chance to enjoy this preg. Make the most of it. Also I could not imagine now that I am feeling little kicks that I would never have met this little monkey had the past not happened the way it did. I sound like im rambling, but stay positive, listen to your body and be happy about the BFP!  Congrats. The journey has just begin again.....Oh yeah and one more thing....I also took a few weeks...not til my second trimester that I started to accept what had happened and started to be thankful for what I did have. Its all normal feelings of fear but you can make it though. Hugs!

[Ashelen]

Victoria's absolutely right and unfortunately all you can do is try to relax. First of all you probably don't want to get an ultrasound until about 8wks because early ultrasounds almost always terrify women who have already had miscarriages because you don't see everything until about 8wks. Second of all...try to relax. It's the best thing you can do to help this pregnancy...I understand how you feel, because I had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with my daughter and I just kept expecting to lose the pregnancy with her until she started to move. Even then I was afraid but I was able to establish a stronger connection with her when she was moving and I started to fear less. With this pregnancy I had spotting at 7wks and I'm now 8wks2/3days and no more spotting and the baby looked great when they did an ultrasound, but I'm still afraid. You've just got to try to enjoy and stay calm...you'll make it :D

[Victoria01]

Congrats on the pregnancy! First, know that you are not alone and your feelings are normal. I had a miscarriage last year and when I found out I was pregnant all I did was worry. Like you said, every little thing make you think something bad is happening and you try and prepare yourself for it. There's really not much else but time that will heal this, but know that just because you had a miscarriage doesn't mean you will again. I am now 23 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy. It took until I started to feel him move all the time to totally relax and even now every once in a while the fear comes back. I know it is easier said than done, but try and relax and enjoy being pregnant the best you can. The ladies on this forum are wonderful and most can easily understand what you are going through.