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Avatar universal

Pregnancy or Abortion?

I am 8 weeks pregnant, and I really do not want to have  this baby. But I am not 100% sure if I want to have an abortion. I do not want to put up for an adoption.  I already have 2 small children by 2 different dads. I just feel so bad that I made this mistake once again. I will be a single mother for the 3rd time.  Any advice. Should I have this baby or not?
47 Responses
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647911 tn?1373314647
Go with your what u feel, I feel the same way as u the person who posted the question,
Helpful - 0
2066946 tn?1345523888
Wish u all the best just think before you do ..there's no going back after you abort ..I'm pro life but I'm not gonna smash my views down your throat ..you're already a mamma so you would kno what you are missing an giving up by aborting ..I'm truly sorry for being in such a difficult mental situation ..wishing u an yours all the best ..
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Avatar universal
I can't imagine what you're going through! Since you asked for opinions, here's mine. Clear your mind, put yourself in your unborn baby's shoes and think of what's best for him/her only, what she/he would want and do just that. Peace.

My personal story: mom wanted abortion but dad was against. Today I'm my mom most precious jewel out of 7 kids she had, we have a special bond and she repeats it to everybody who cares to listen to her life's story.

@ mrssandefur, what a powerful testimony, I commend you and wish you all the best!
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2095738 tn?1339825243
People in your life may not agree with you keeping the baby, but it's your little family you'd be creating for yourself and your kids. I have 2 diff baby daddies and I only date guys that treat them like their own, including the baby dads(when I'd kind of jump back n forth for diff reasons). Neither dad is completely in their lives, but when they are, they treat both equally and buy presents for both on holidays and IF they take their kid-which is so rare and doesn't last for 4hrs-they usually take both kids. The kid that's dad has them is daddy to that kid and the other calls the dad daddy(first name). Ut goes both ways depending who they visit. I got preg by the 2nd father and am expecting twins. I personally do not believe in abortions but I would cry and sleep all day as soon as I found out I was preg, hoping to miscarry. Which I regret feeling now, but my bf decided to stick around and has movef in and taken on the responsibility of all these kids head on. It's hard sometimes bc I still feel so guilty and his family thinks I'm pregnant to him, so it's just a constant reminder..but I've learned that most of the time, it's easier to do the whole parenting thing on your own. There's no one to fight with, no diff views on parenting, feel closer to the kids bc they're the only ones around most of the time so that's where your focus is..and so much more. But when you find the right guy, it's easy to forget any even have different dads and that that man playing with them right in front of you isn't their biological father. I've grown up with a half sister, bro,sis, and 2 step brothers. Around 13/14 years old, I found out my half sis was my full blooded, adding 2 more sisters and another brother. That didn't phase me, I chose to look at the man I knew to be my dad my whole life as my dad to this very day and he doesn't even know I'm not really his. It's not about blood, it's who's in those kids lives that they're gna look up to. So even if you choose abortion, just remember that little bit of advice for your other two. Just bc the father's aren't around for their kids, doesn't mean you cannot give them all the love and care they need. They won't ve phased just bc they have diff fathers. And if you set your standards high, you'll find an amazing guy that'll take care of you and your kids as if they were his very own.
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Avatar universal
I posted previously, but just wanted to say again, at the end of the day it is your body and you are the only one that can make the decision, don't make it based on what others might or might not think, the first time I was ever faced with this question was from my bbf since we were kids a few years back, I was absolutely against abortion and she asked me if I would hate her or think less of her if she went through with it, it was not as easy as I might have thought but of course I love her like family and I told her I respected whatever discussion she made and Is always love and be there for her no matter what. Sometimes all we need to make a difficult decision either way is to just know someone cares and will love us no matter what we do, hang in there and good luck.
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1947316 tn?1337300930
I'm getting caught up on this post since yesterday and must say yay for all the other non judgemental women out there! But shame on all the others!! I think i've let my voice be heard enough on here but I still cant believe the nerve of some people! Life happens...EVERYONE make mistakes! Let her decide what is best for her life. And as far as the screwed up child comment...seriously? Grow up! Like brownhair30 said....there are screwed up people coming out of 2family homes everyday. I am pregnant with my 3rd child by 3different men (just so the critics know I was married to 2 of them! Lol) but my 11year old is the most loving, caring, compassionate boy I know! He listens to me, doesnt talk back,helps me with his brother, respects his elders. I always get compliments on how well behaved he is! And I see friends' kids the same age...yelling at their parents, fighting, being disrespectful. And they have both parents in the house! But yet I guess according to you....because my situation is almost exactly like brownhair30's....then my son is the screwed up kid. Hhhhmmmm guess thats news to me and anyone that knows him. Lol
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Avatar universal
Oh thank you for informing me my babies will be screwed up :) I had no idea :)
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1966562 tn?1339819526
Jujibby14 you should read what the moderators wrote pertaining to people like you. If you can't speak without judgment then don't speak at all skip this post. As your judgememt was not healthy or needed.
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1395792 tn?1358115792
You know every last one of you judging her need to look at your life and the mistakes YOU have made dont say well at least I didnt have an abortion..all wrong is wrong! We all make mistakes! I cant believe some of you have the nerve to judge her and if people knew your secrets you would be ashamed so dont throw stones at her!
She already said adoption is not an option so leave it alone!
Sweetie just do whats best for you, I have four children pregnant with number five. my oldest was a prev situation and the rest are from my husband that being said I had an abortion after my first child and yes I still think about it but believe me I'm ok. I thought about it again after my first with my husband but couldnt do it again. So if you do make it a one time thing and make sure it doesnt happen again because I dont think you could do it again just because your questioning it now. You can keep this baby if you want...you can do it and don't worry about others. It's all up to you! Message me anytime!
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Avatar universal
U should keep da baby..why is it dat da baby should suffer for ur mistake..dats not fair ..being blessed with a bby is da best thing in da world cuz in da end of it all ur kids are always there for u..u may struggle now but when dey get old dey will realize what u did for them and appreciate it..ur da one who ****** up by sleeping with someone who u knew didn't care enough bout u..and if u don't want the baby give it up for adoption there are plenty women who don't have the gift we got from god..ur killing someone dey would die.to have dats not fair let them show ur bby love..
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Avatar universal
I agree with "Mommy to be".  None of my children are screwed up. Also, I know many children who are born and raised in 2 family unit, nice home, and turn out to be drug addicts. Just look at Dr. Phil's show. That is one prime example that single family homes do not necessary mean that a child will be screwed up.  In saying that, I off course prefer my children to be in a 2-parent home, with a loving mother (me) and father. I know my choices made this, and now all i can do is make better choices for now on.  Thanks to all of you who responded with a sincere non-judgemental heart!  
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Avatar universal
I can honestly say from experience that you are safer to have the baby given to an adopted family. An abortion will leave you scarred and its a very huge emotional ride. You will feel better knowing your child is taken care of instead of going through with an abortion. Please take time to think and do what your heart tells you not what others want.
Best of luck to you sweetie.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have been reading the comments on this post and think you have been given great advice from most... however my mother had 3 kids (including myself) we all have different dads. We never questioned why we had different dads or why one of our dads was there and the others wasn't. We didn't have a screwed up life. And im thankful my mom kept every single one of us even though she had my older sibling at 15 me at 17 and mu younger sibling 9 years later and we all are so close together now. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I personally wouldn't ever choose abortion. But that's my choice. This is completely up to you and i think you'd do amazing job at mothering all three miracles. And one day you may find a fuy who would love to be 'dad' to all three ad my mom did. Good luck.
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Avatar universal
Its your decision. I would rather a woman give the baby up for adoption because there are so many people who would really love to have a child but cant BUT only you know what is best for you. Whatever you decide you are going to have to live with this decision no one else so dont let anyone try to make the decision for you. If you do decide on an abortion I advise that you go right away because there is a cut off were you will no longer be able to have one.
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1966562 tn?1339819526
I think if you can't be non judgmental you shouldn't click on her post. She does have a choice and no one here had to love with it but you. God knows your heart brownhair so ignore the rude posts.
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1999115 tn?1332265324
I don't think if she went thru with the pregnancy, that she'd have a ' screwed up child '.
& no one here has any right to judge anyone based in the question, yea it's a sensitive topic but doesn't mean we shouldn't be supportive even if we don't believe in it. just sayin'
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1911870 tn?1345419009
I think abortion is wrong unless you were raped. I know a lot of you believe in we have the right to choose. I'm not trying to tick anyone off, just wanna share my opinion. It's like this you know that sex, wether it's unprotected or you're on birth control and doing everything possible to prevent pregnancy, can lead to pregnancy. When it does happen you put yourself there and should handle your reaponsibilities. Also like someone else said god doesn't put more on you than you can handle. With that said I don't think down on women that have chosen abortion, I do feel sympathy for you that you feel/felt your situation is bad enough to have/had an abortion.
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Avatar universal
It's all up to you. I'd do it for the sake of the baby. You don't need to add another screwed up child in the mix.
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2104110 tn?1358318243
So here we tlk bout abortions and all kinds of other thngs no one is judging anyone, all I'm sayin is tht surely there is a forum for ths question, tht is suited to b discussd u wnt to tell me u carryin life inside u ul b able to assist objectivly?! Ths lady needs the best help she cn gt so the correct forum for the question is suitd!
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Avatar universal
I'd have an abortion. Don't worry bout what anyone else says. Your kids will question why they have different dads. And not fair on them if knee lets em down. Iv had 2 abortions one at 9 and one at 11 week. I felt guilty at time but was right thing at time. I'm 26 and expecting baby number 5.. all same dad. Mistakes happen but I done have to suffer I'd reckoned abortion and extreme precautions after so not to happen again good luck. Don't worry
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Avatar universal
for women who are not able to get pregnant adoption has been the biggest blessing for them. I have a frind who cannot concieve a baby of her own but she was blessed by being able to adopt 3 perfect children. she is the best mom I have ever seen in my life and she is so grateful for athe birth moms who gave her the chance to be a mom when they couldnt do it. there are many different types of adoption like open or closed adoption. with an open adoption you can get pictures of your child on a regular basis, see the child, and watch it grow up ( to a certain degree but that is what you put in the adoption papers)  just think of the lives you will bless with this one life. adoption is defiantly a wonderful, helpful and loving thing. giving your baby up for adoption does not mean that you dont love it, it actually means quite the opposite. you are giving your child a life you could never give them. good luck with what you decide!!
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1999115 tn?1332265324
I agree with jenniekae81 completely
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1947316 tn?1337300930
You dont need to thank me Brownhair30....everyone needs somewhere to go to discuss things in their life without being judged. I like you am a hardworking single mom. I am not going to like... I am scared bleepless about having this baby and doing it on my own. My 1year olds dad doesnt see him so I have him fulltime, I had a csection with him and these are so close together that I have to have a csection on june 29th to meet my little girl. Which means that I will have to fig out how to manage a 11yr old, toddler, and newborn after major surgery. My mom raised me to know that where there is a will...there is a way. But everybody is different hun. Don't get down on yourself because of the circumstances of how this pregnancy came to be or that you will (if you continue the pregnancy) have 3 diff baby daddys because in the end that wont matter. What will matter is whether or not you are capable of taking care of the baby and giving it all the love you can. What matters is what is best for you and your family. Forget all the negative people and look to your heart because you are the only one that knows your situation. And if you ever need anything feel free to message me :)
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2037415 tn?1332166326
I see it as this god wouldn't put more on you if he thought you couldn't handle it... I'm seven months with my no job baby daddy not around I had two abortions in the past one was forced by my mom I wa 14... I would never say abortion it honestly leaves you emotional scarred.... The baby your carrying is a blessing and that baby could have the cure for something...  You never know... But the choice is yours goodluck
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