Single mother here... Will everything be OK?

[silvermoth]

I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm 20 years old, and have known the father since I was 12, and we were together for almost 3 years. I left him about 7 months ago because we didn't get along, he did hard drugs occasionally and had an awful temper, and being with him made me emotionally unstable. Crazy, is a better word. So for my sake I had to get away. Buut we would see each other every few weeks. We still love each other very much, and we'd become intimate. So we weren't together when I found out I was pregnant. I told him and he was so excited! Saying "this is amazing, we are going to have a family together, etc." And my only thought was "we aren't together though! I do not trust you and you make me crazy!"
Im doing fine on my own. And I would love to work it out with him but he always does something that completely backtracks any progress and makes me not trust him again. And there's no way I can prize love over the stability and peace I get when I am away. I would never keep our child away from him, I'm just saying I can't commit myself to living with and loving him again as i once did. Any moms out there with advice? I'm just wondering if I'm making the right decision.

[xoAnuheaxo]

I don't really have advice... just stumbled across your post which caught my eye because I also am going through similar situations so I can totally relate. I'm also 20 years old and a first time single mother to be. Here I am 22 weeks in and I must say regardless of whatever the situation maybe between my child's father and I, am happy. You'll know what's right eventually. The father of my child decided he wanted nothing to do with our child after all so I won't force him. He hasn't came to not one doctors appointment since I found out I was pregnant. On top of that not even 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant he got into a relationship with a girl who apparently has 2 kids from someone else who he rather tend to those kids than his own that's on the way. I remember getting a text from him saying " to leave him and his girl alone because he was happy and that he was going to build a future with her "  It's crazy how emotionally damaged I was, and now I can say I am stronger than ever not because I have to be but because I was blessed with a wonderful baby girl who will one day grow and look up to me. Keep your head up always ! (: congratulations on your blessed !! I believe you will do great with or without him. With all bitterness aside (:

[embrace13]

Nothing is ever final in our life's ppl marry grow apart people break up get back for now you have made it clear what you need I would stay hold strong and only you can make this choice it's never a final desscion I know couples apart and end up marrying after a baby and growing there family the baby made them realize what important and sharing custody hurt them. Other couples I know hate each other and make everything harder then it should be.. depends on the way you to are and grow. People change all the time both of you are so young I am def not who I was when I was 18 25 ect.
But for now seems like you need your space and time and understand that and that takes strength so young but you seem very mature and love that you put yourself first then baby as that's what matters happy mom will make for a happy baby

[autismmomsara]

Let me say you are strong and all will be OK I to am a single mom I'm expecting my second at the moment due in September my first was after I had got married and lost my virginity he is 6 and non verbal autistic he has ADHD among a lot of other health issues he inherited let me say I left the man I married and ran with my son he abused and neglected me and his son he has never been there for he had a daughter at the time that I had raised at almost a year to age 6 and she to had never had support from her father I left that dead beat and have survived with support of God and my family you have tons what right for you and that baby he can be in the child's life but needs to be supervised visits being he is like this I know bc I have an attorney I know the state and how they work you do you and stand your ground for both of y'all let him know he needs to change or get counseling or on meds some rehab and get clean and prove himself if he wants y'all to be a family and don't back down

[silvermoth]

Im living with my parents and my BFF of over half my life lives 4 minutes away by car, so I do have plenty of support close by. And thank you so much for saying im a strong person! I didn't use to be so grounded but I'm feeling more and more that this is right. I kind of have this silly hope that he'll clean himself up and we can have our family together.. But I can't put stock into that because he's shown me time and time again that he's unreliable, untrustworthy...the list goes on. Thank you again. I'm learning to love being alone, and not be lonely.

[aussiemmmum]

Wow you sound like such a strong person. Sounds like your decision is for the best. It sounds like you are happier and more stable without him. Plus your little bub will need this emotional stability and being away from anger and drugs. Do you have family support close by?

[jenniferand3]

The best thing is to just stay friends without a relationship because it will bring you down and the child to be will suffer.

[nessie_92]

Maybe both of you guys going to counseling that could help good luck to you both and congrats on the blessing