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621803 tn?1302888341

Transitioning from family bed to crib

Hi everyone! I know this isn't a pregnancy related question, but this forum tends to get the most responses so I figured I'd post here.
I'm looking for suggestions for.transitioning my 14 month old son from our family bed to his crib. We've coslept most of his life (by choice). However, dh has had to start sleeping on an air mattress in the family room because DS is such an active sleeper. Plus, he'll be starting at a family daycare, and by law he has to take naps in a crib or pack n play, not on a mattress on the floor (which is where he takes his naps now, alone). Any suggestions on transitioning him, especially from mommies who have coslept? I'm open to a lot, but not letting him CIO. I've tried putting him down groggy, fully asleep, and awake and playing, hoping that he'll eventually crash. None of it has worked so far. The second his little butt hits the crib and he's screaming. He'll play in the crib while he's awake but as soon as its night.night time the crying starts again (not fussing...hysterical crying that gets worse the longer I let it go on).  Please help!
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621803 tn?1302888341
*bump
Helpful - 0
1654035 tn?1332425178
I did some cosleeping but as she got older I knew it was only going to get harder and harder to get her out of the bed, plus myself and DH were ready to have the bed to ourselves. By 1 she was sleeping the whole night in her bed. The only way for us to do this was to let her cry it out at times. I would feed her, change her, even rock her and when I knew she was ready for bed I would put her in her crib and leave her. I know some people cant do this but the thing is it worked/s really well. I also realized that during the night she would cry sometimes but now I wait a couple of minutes, 99% of the time she falls back asleep on her own within a minute and the 1% of the time I will go in and see what is going on. She also is one who likes a bottle. So before I go to bed I leave a sippy cup in there with water, she will wake up know where it is, drink from it and go back to sleep without so much as a fuss. My husband and I found that the crying lasted a while in the beginning, but within 2 weeks we were surprised when it lasted longer then a minute and she would be fast asleep. Babies are smart, they know if they cry you get them even when nothing is wrong. She knows now when she is in the crib it is time to sleep and when she wakes she will call for me and I will get her.  
Helpful - 0
689528 tn?1364135841
I had my son in a playpen in our room until he was 6 months old. I know it's not the exact same situation or even close to the same age but I can tell you what I did.
I started him out sleeping in his crib for naps and then after he got used to that, I moved him there at night.
His hysterical crying is the cry that gets noticed and he knows that you are going to go in there, scoop him up and take him back to your bed. Take a weekend and expect not much sleep on your part and work on this. Put him in his crib and stay in the room with him, put some music on, give him a blankie he loves or something to comfort him. Try using a pillow from your actual bed and see how he does. It'll be hard but he should be old enough to get the hint that that is where he's going to sleep from now on.
Or maybe get him a toddler bed and put the sides on it so he doesn't fall out. Maybe it's the fact of being enclosed that gets to him.
Helpful - 0
304970 tn?1331425994
Why are you against crying it out? I would offer my experiences and advice, but they all involve crying it out.. It's quite simple, your child KNOWS he doesn't have sleep alone so he won't..  And did you say your husband is sleeping on air mattress in the living room? That's crazy to me. However, I don't support co-sleeping (unless you are breastfeeding), so I am probably the polar opposite of you. I DO wish you the best of luck, though. Any transition seems to take lots of work and repetition.
Helpful - 0
1194973 tn?1385503904
I'm really interested in this post. Kylie is almost 10 months and we co-sleep with her currently as well. We have intentions to eventually get her into her crib, but not too sure when that might happen. I too am strongly against the CIO method (we practice attachment parenting) and am looking for ways beyond that to help transition her into her own bed when we're ready.
Helpful - 0
621803 tn?1302888341
Like Clysta, I practice attachment parenting as a whole. Other than babywearing much anymore because he's so heavy. I still breastfeed whenever he's with me and don't have a specific time when we plan to stop. Whenever we're both comfortable I guess. When he's not with me he takes a bottle of  whole milk perfectly fine.
I know CIO methods tend to work, but leaving my son to cry like that just goes against everything I believe in. I don't know if it would have long effects on him, but it feels wrong to me. Attachment parent, and mainly cosleeping feels right. I wouldn't even be trying to transition him now.if he wasn't going to a different daycare.in the fall and if I didn't feel guilty about DH sleeping in the other room. He's actually the one person out of my whole family that encourages me to sleep with Braeden because he feels its whats best for him.
Sorry if that felt like I just got on a soapbox. It wasn't meant to come across that way.
Helpful - 0
1654035 tn?1332425178
I don't take it as a slap, we all have to do what works for us. My husband and I are both full time working parents, which I know a bunch of people don't do either, but again you do what works for you. The thing I can say is that the CIO method is not as bad as people make it out to be. I let her cry only because I know she is totally fine. She is feed/clean/safe. If she has it her way she will stay up and awake when she is exhausted and VERY grumpy, when she gives the signs of needing to sleep then it is time for bed, and the beauty of it is she does not cry anymore. Like I said before a minute of crying is unusual. And when she wakes up she knows I will come and get her. Babies are way smarter then they let off at times and they know if they cry you will pick them up, so of course they are going to cry, and it gets worse as they get older, they learn how to push your buttons. Yes it was hard for me to do and I felt horrible, but she learned so fast and now she doesn't cry, she will turn on her music and go to sleep without a tear and she always knows I will be there when she wakes up.
Helpful - 0
615752 tn?1361867986
My daughter is 2 and I suffered from bad PPD for over a year, we mainly co-slept most of that time. We still do and I always wanted to train her. She had not problems until 6-7 months of age and then she always wanted to co-sleep. I tried to let her CIO a few times but my husband stands in the way, I'm pregnant with my second child (suprise pregnancy) and want to get her to sleep in her own bed but when I start to train her my husband destroys everything! She is soooo active as well. I will keep watching this post and if anyone has suggestions please help! I'm SO desperate too, I would like her to sleep in her own bed by the time the new baby comes in January. I should send DH away somewhere for at least a week.............
Helpful - 0
621803 tn?1302888341
Just as an update, we took the front rail off of DS crib and converted it to a toddler bed y nights ago.  He's still waking up a couple times a night, but he actuallu sleeps in the toddler bed! I guess it was the caged feeling he really didn't like, plus being lowered all the way to the mattress. Thanks for everyone's suggestions!
Helpful - 0
689528 tn?1364135841
Oh yay! I'm glad. I kinda figured it was that caged feeling. Going from a nice roomy bed to a little baby prison is probably a little scary! LOL
Helpful - 0
1194973 tn?1385503904
Hmmm....what would be a good age to convert the crib into a toddler bed. I have a feeling Kylie will co-sleep with us until we convert her bed, and I'm not sure at what age that should be done.
Helpful - 0
689528 tn?1364135841
I think Clysta that they are transitioned usually when they are able to climb out of their crib or for sure by the time they are starting to be potty trained b/c they need the easy access to a washroom. But really, I would say when you think Kylie is ready. She's used to sleeping in a bed already and if she is going to stay there and sleep then that's good enough.
It's crazy to see so many people that co-sleep with their kids. I'm not against it but I can't imagine doing it myself. I have brought Brady into our bed a few times here and there and I cannot sleep at all and there's no room!! DH takes up soo much space!! LOL That and it sounds like the transition for them is tough!
Helpful - 0
1194973 tn?1385503904
Yeah. We slept in a full size bed with her, and THAT was crowded. We bought a queen size bed specifically for co-sleeping and it's much nicer. I think we'll move her out when she's either 1 year old, or can walk and we'll just attach a safety rail. She likes to roll everywhere and comes close to rolling of sometimes.
Helpful - 0
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