Why are there so many young barely teens on here intentionally ttc?

[diva_lorri]

Hi to all -

It really concerns me the amount of young barely teens on here intentionally trying to get pregnant? An accident (although i hate this expression) or unexpected gift of a child is one thing you embrace and live with but an intentional act to be a child raising a child is another thing? It shows alot about ones maturity and mentality.

Are these posts for real or just bored 13 year olds? sorry to offend anyone but seriously ???

[Crysi]

Lori - No need to apologize. I had no problem with your post, you used specific examples of 13 year olds on here, and I have read those too and wondered myself whether they were bored or for serious.

[diva_lorri]

crysi - no worries i apologise for jumping the gun. xx

[motherofan18month]

that is so crazy...my SIL actually has a 9 month old and she will be 18 in august with 2 m/c under her belt for the last 3 months....i beleive she is still a lil young, she doewsn't want my bro to work...she always wants him to take care of the baby, but yet she does try...i'll give her that but she is a great person!  DS was conceived almost 1 month before DH and i started ttc so he was a surprise and a great one at that!!!  i was lucky to be able to celebrate my 21st birthday..it came exaclty 1 month after DS was born and grandma was visiting so i got to relax and she got to enjoy herself as well. My older sis got pg with my neice on the night of her 16th b-day to be exact...she was irresponsible for a while  and then she got married and her drug addict hubby drug her down.....my mom now has custody of my neice...but my sis has changed dramatically has a man who loves her and 2 more beautiful lil girls she is now 24 yrs. old and she is a great mom to all 3! i think these girls are a lil young to be ttc...but if that's what they want then they will have to endure the consequences.....no matter what they will grow up and actually they will learn from there mistakes!

[Crysi]

I didn't say you were directing to me, I did read the barely teens on your part I was simply pointing out that there are people on here my age making judgement calls on people one or two years younger then them. My little brother is 12, my fiance's sister is 13 if either of them came home pregnant (or with a pregnant girl) I would not be impressed, and if either were planning I would talk to them about what it really meant. But as for the young girls on here I maintain that it's not my place to judge, I don't know them and it doesn't affect me.

As I said before I wasn't trying to start anything, just my personal thoughts.

[diva_lorri]

i think some people just prove my point by posting ramblings like this lol...

crysi - like i said too alley8 i was referring to 'barely' teens. 18 is not a barely teen.

[Crysi]

Not trying to start anything I just wanted to point all the hypocritical people on here who have to stop a year before their age for the ages that are "wrong to conceive" .

I can tell you that one year especially between 18 and 19 or even two years between 18 and 20 doesn't make a whole lot of difference. I think it is wrong to judge any one, yes 13-15 year olds trying to conceive is a little unnecessary but if they are willing to step up to the plate and take responcibility when they have a baby they will realize really quickly that it wasn' t the best decision to make and it is them that have to live with that choice not anyone posting about how wrong it is. Also no one here knows what these people have been through, how fast they have had to grow up etc. Grammar/spelling isn't going to tell you how mature someone is, maybe how lazy they are (to use abreviations etc) but definitely not maturity.


Like I said I'm not trying to start anything just pointing out a couple things. I don't support young teens getting pregnant but it doesn't affect me, therefore I have no right nor reason to say anything against it. (Being a tax payer does not make it affect me either, many teenagers do not rely on the government to pay for their child)

[diva_lorri]

Chitten - you took the words right out of my mouth  :-)

alley8 - read these posts on this thread then you can post again with understanding of the correct facts and correct intent this post was aimed at. this was never an attack on teen pregnancy ever.... im sorry you felt offended but it was never the intention.
it was a concern for 13/14/15/16/17 year olds INTENTIONALLY trying to conceive/ have a baby. one thing i must say to you though - is if someone is trying to have a baby to fill a void in there life (ie: lack of love/ family/bad childhood/ to fix a rocky relationship) then they need a physcologist not help to try to conceive no matter what age! a baby will not fix a relationship and will certainly not make all your bad memories/ feelings go away. you need to deal with them before you drag a solely dependant on you child into the situation.
im sure the majority of this entire forum will agree...

loismwallace -   definately wasnt offended :-) just hated the fact id started a controverisal post. im so not a 'trouble maker' type person lol...
i just didnt realise some people would totally take it as a an attack on teen pregnancy in general. soooooooo not my intention!
ive had a few friends who were teen mums accidently and they are some of the best mums I know. I also commend alot of people especially teens on there maturity, dedication and outlook on the gift of a child they were unexpectedly given. when they ttc so young thats just plain selfish.. simple!

all the best 2 all - lorri

[chitten]

I think people need to distinguish between "unplanned" prenancy and actively "trying to concieve."


If a girl falls pregnant young but it is not planned and she decides to keep her baby then we should commend her for taking responsibility and offer her support but teens at 14, 15, 16 and 17 TRYING to concieve is just wrong.

[CYW]

im 22, i had my son when i was 21..he is 7 mos old and i am a sahm..we planned our baby, however did npot think it would only happen 2nd cycle off the pill..especially after having been on it for 7 yrs..which was to regulate my period..not have sex..the bf and I are together however he is in school full time and works full time and we dont live together yet..i am a single full-time mom...its hard enough as is but i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world...i am returning to school in sept..at 13..having a baby let alone SEX should be the last thing on someone's mind and it's sad because so many of them are uneducated...on sex, life..etc...Babies are not dolls..They are the real thing and its awesome for those who have managed having had babies at a really young age.. 16..that is great! but it isnt and should not be for everyone..I'm with my son 24/7 no one babysits and why should anyone because i am here and i love being with my baby boy...its like this girl said.. she was apparently 20 years old...technically my age...she had ALOT of growing up to do versus a 16 yr old..she thought a baby only needed milk and i laughed because babies need WAY more than just breast milk and love...

[alley8]

okay so all of you have been taking about "young kids" getting pregnant. i am 16 yrs of age. i am not 100% sure if i am pregnant yet im supposed to go get blood work done wensday. me and my bf WERE NOT planning this but i do know that i wouldnt change anything. i have been on my own for almost all of my life. i had to raise my litte sister who is only about a yr younger than me bc my mom was so strung out on drugs. my grandfather mollested me when i moved in with my grandmother, i have had no child hood and i have been raising my friends kid basically for her  (remeber im only 16) i feel as though i am way older than that, and many say i act so to. so i mean whe u talk about younger children getting or trying to get pregnant did u ever stop and think hey... maybe they dont have anything or anyone to love.... and will do just about anything (including getting pregnant) to get it??

this wasnt planned for me again, but yet i dont regret it. let them make their own mistakes ya know? i dont agree but im also not going to put anyone down. its hard for me also bc my step mom will not believe me for ****. neither will my dad. but idk just wanted to add to the convo.
-Alley8

[sweetangel7]

I too have felt Kim's frustration of reading this because it seems in my personal opinion (and I don't want to be incendiary and start a big blow up) that these young girls who are actively ttc are causing all sorts of ills in the average person's life...I am a taxpayer and besides driving on the roads and having access to police/firemen if needed, I don't really reap any benefit other than knowing that I am paying for others to keep procreating, getting to stay home with their baby, having free health care, free food for them and their baby, free or substantially reduced rent, free education.  It just seems backwards that I did everything 'right' that benefits society (went to college for a BA and M, got married, bought a house, pay taxes, work everyday, pay $400/mo. for health insurance...) yet I know when I have a baby nobody will be there to give me a helping hand other than my husband and family...I will have to use my sick-time to get a paycheck and be able to put food in our mouths and diapers on my baby's bottom...I am saving money to pay for any time over 3 weeks that I want to or may need to stay home after giving birth...Not easy for the average, responsible American to have a child...I guess I am in a crabby mood today but I have been stewing over this since it was posted.

[Kim1989]

im glad someone finally asked. lately its been going on a lot. espically on the maternal forum. im sorry but i think young girls need to futher their education. especially if they already have a baby, they need to focus on getting a degree so they can better the lives for their children and themselves. i had my son a little over a month ago. im going to college in the fall. my babys father left me a 6 weeeks. and im raising my son as a single teenage mother. but to see these little girls and girls who are my age who are like proud to be poping out kidds left and right....please! and i think that being like 19 and 20 ttc or working on baby number 2 when they dont have a degree i think is nuts. you and your husband got pregnant and had a baby ok. im so happy that hes there. but working on your next child so early? theres time. im only 18 but i feel like A LOT OF PEOPLE, NOT JUST MUREY CANDIDATES are rushing into things really quickly. i thought it was like totally tabo to ttc at a young age. so many young girls think their "ready" or "mature" or "can handle it".....PLEASE!!!! its like everyone whos under like 18 always feels the need to sit ther and justify themselves. saying they had to grow up at a young age... everyones got a story. my dad lived with me till i was 4, tried to kill my mom, had to leave, lives in 1 1/2 hours away (now), got mental help, my mom was never there because she travels with her job. i spend many birthdays without my parents.....so please im sick of hearing it. not directed at you riot queen tho...your not who im talking about, so not trying to start anything. im mostly talking about the girls who are <18 ttc like its a hobby, CANT SPELL, who grammer sucks, and who doesnt want to finish high school, live off of the goverment, and not bother to create a future for their children.


SORRY FOR THIS ITS BEEN MAKING ME SOO MAD THESE PAST FEW MONTHS

[Riot_Queen]

I'm 18 and mine was unexpected.
I'm gunna be turning 19 a few weeks after my baby is born, and like chitten, I'm terrified that I'm not ready.

But I know that I have a supportive and loving family to help me when I am in need.

I've seen ALOT of girls... 14... 15...16...17 years old, TRYING to get pregnant.
And  I'm thinking, are y'all stupid?!
Take advantage of your young life while you still can!
You haven't experienced what it's like to really get out into the world yet.

Thankfully I was able to get my liscence, and my GED BEFORE I got pregnant, so I have that stuff outta the way.
Since my fiancee's gunna be working, and I'm gunna have temporary welfare till maybe 5 months after the baby's born, I think I'll take the time to sign up for the college in my home town that has financial help, like if you can't afford to pay for it, the state will pay for your schooling for you.
So I'm deff gunna take advantage of that while I have the spare time and take up graffic design.
Once I finnish that 2 year degree, I'm gunna become an apprentace at my mom's friend's tattoo shop and learn to tattoo and make some green.
lol.
I have what I want set infront of me, and I've had it there for a long time.
But now with this baby, it's gunna be a lil more difficult.

If it takes a lil longer my mother says she can get me a job at the mentally handicapped and disabled elderly hospital she works at starting out at almost $11 an hour.
So I think we'll be fine.
But I do think that anyone my age and younger should really concider WAITING on having a baby because I KNOW my life is gunna be a circus ahead of me.

Luckily I was forced to mature at a very young age, and my mother wasn't there for me or my siblings, so she'd just pop a baby out and leave it to me to take care of it since I was 7.
I raised myself, my brother and sister, ontop of my other brother and sister who I actually raised from infants.
So atleast I know what I'm doing here. lol

[leigh222]

i was pregnant with my son when i was 17 had him when i was 18, and your right it is hard work, time consuming, expensive and alot of sacrifices. i should have waited till i was older but i didnt now i have a loving little boy. i am married now and trying to concieve #2 but having fertility problems but i am also alot older then i was then.

[loismwallace]

I hope I didn't make you feel like I was attacking you.......I just really am pasionate about the subject and I love hearing what others have to say about it. Atleast, this one didn't get nasty like I've seen some of them in the past...lol

[diva_lorri]

hi all -
sorry to cause such a controversy! :-)
all i was hoping to put across is that it is absolutely stupidity for teenagers to be intentionally trying to conceive. dont need to add any additional comment as some of you explained it perfectly! i have no issue or judgement regarding anything else.

all the best
lorri

[Linzola1]

I am 19 and my due date is the day after my 20th birthday, but I am happily married and have been for a year in May. People tell me all the time I am crazy but this is what my husband and I wanted. I do have to say that even being 19 I am scared to death about having him as well as excited. My biggest fear is having this little man that I have to do everything for and not doing a good enough job.  As for being 13 thats crazy how are they support a child when people my age or older have a hard enough time. I guess they think therir parents will do it.

[BUTTERFLYCOTTON]

I'm pregnant at 20, I work in childcare. Some of my family thought i was nuts and stupid but they finally excepted it. I'm happy and married. I got told I had a positive result on my pap smear a week ago and would have to go to a specialist once Ive had the baby. Things happen for a reason. As for having a baby at 13, thats extreme, I was still playing games in the playground at that age.

[martikadragoon]

hear hear!

[JoyRenee]

I think diva_lorri's point was there are young girls ACTIVELY TTC. It's one thing to fall pregnant unexpectedly/accidently. But to be 15 and TRYING to conceve a child is ludicrous. I don't think we can be so blasé and say, "To each their own" when a child does not have the mental capacity to REASON what a baby would be not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It's one thing to become pregnant out of carelessness and quite another to intentionally bring life into the world when you can barely afford a car payment and still live with your parents.

[snowhite17]

Chitten - My course is correspondence. The study time is 18 months, then I move on to advanced.
I didn't get knocked up at 16 "because I wanted to".

[GreenEyedMama]

Well i never really got a chance to be a kid.I raised my own brothers and sisters while my mom worked three jobs.I got pregnant when i was 16.I remember how scared i was.Abortion was never an option for me i would never destroy a gift from god.I took parenting classes,I married the dad who is my Husband now and the love of my life.I just turned 21 and am haveing my third child.I never pictured my life like this,but im not ashamed nor do i feel the need to apoligize to certain people.I love my little family and i know I am a great mother....I just dont undrstand all these teens thinking its cool to get pregnant like its the newest fashion or thinking its gonna make the man there with stay..

[loismwallace]

Yeah! We live in the states and a lot of the kids I've run across, think they are invinsible and that nothing can touch them. They need to know they aren't. I think it is a great thing you are doing as a teacher to educate them. A LOT of people don't realize that you (as teachers) spend more time with our kids than we do in most cases.

Truth is my sex education came from school ONLY! My parents just didn't talk about it! Unfortunately, I think a lot of my childrens freinds, parents are the same way. I vowed NOT to let my children be in the dark. They know I would like them to respect themselves and WAIT!!! But they also know that if they felt it was time we should talk and decide together what actions to take to protect them and their potential partner.

Again, CUDOS to you for  teaching young people this...

[StressHead]

I'm in the UK and the school I'm at they don't even know how to spell abstinence let alone what it means. I taught them about HPV and the vaccine for their coursework. We're only meant to do th sciencey stuff in year 7 (way too young) and it's not on the spec for the older ones but I teach it any way and get it in anywhere I can. They should be informed and I don't feel uncomfortable talking about it to them at all. I think thr more information they get from me the less inaccurate information they get form their mates!

Don't get me wrong, I know what it's like to be a teenager. I was 15 when I lost my virginity. I was in a relationship that lasted 6 years and we went to the family planning together and I got on the pill (with my Mum's consent, she was mad at first and my dad hit the roof but she was glad I had approached her) and we got stocks of free condoms just incase the pill didn't work because we both wanted careers. I'm not very sensitive to accidents because I read my instructions and new how to use my pill and I knew that if I vomitted or had the runs then I wasn't protected...I don't get whats so hard to understand....but kids these days don't read anything for themselves, if it's not sppon fed they just go with what they think!!