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4981292 tn?1381256805

a little rant :)

Am I the only one who still let's there boyfriend go out ? I see a lot of post about girls not happy that there boyfriend / husband are going out. I still let my man hang out with his friends, go to the bar and have a couple drinks, and he even gone three days to have a "guy vacation" . I don't see the problem, I trust my man 100% we text every minute and call almost every three hours. We remind each other we miss and love each other and I keep him updates on our little baby inside my tummy. And he has always came home to.me. I know all his friends and they respect mine and his relationship so I trust them as well to not try to get my man to do something wrong. I love our relationship so much, and I sometimes have trouble understanding why once you get married or start a family,  you can't still have your social life, and still have a good  time.. my boyfriend has never have me a reason to tell him he can't do something.
I'm sure this may cause problems which I'm not trying to do at all, so don't get to offended by Tue. Every relationship is different, I know. ,:)
21 Responses
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Avatar universal
Not only is it important to trust each other, but it is also important to retain your own identity when in a relationship. For many people that means doing activities with other people (friends/family) without their partners a few times a month or even weekly. If you can not trust your partner for any valid reason, then that issue needs to be addressed head on instead of attempting to control your partner by guilt tripping them or demanding they stay home and avoiding the real reason you don't want them out of your sight. Cheating for example, you can not prevent someone from cheating on you by any negative action. Be the best partner that you can be, and trust your partner. If they betray that trust, the guilt is purely on them.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The way I see it. Some women get mad that their significant other is having fun without them!! lol my husband goes out with his friends, and I go out with mine or we will just go together.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Lol roopstetter i have to agree with ya on the joint fb thing. Its like, really? Come on...so glad to hear you and your hubby are working it out. @ gordon, ya, you def. need to get out in the country girl. Ive never lived in town/city in my life. I grew up on the outskirts of a small town on 1.5acres, and there was woods all around our place to play in...now my husband and i live on 10acres of prairie and love it. Were renting now, but when we are able to buy land is a must. Such a great way to be able to raise kids. We garden, and have a horse and dogs get to run all around...couldnt ask for a better life.
Helpful - 0
4981292 tn?1381256805
I love hiking. My boyfriend and I go hiking all the time. I never been fishing so I really don't have an interest for it.
Lol I.agree with the Facebook thing. My bf wants to delete his because he never uses it, but I told him.i want going to be in a relationship with no one lol.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its great that their are women (and it is mostly women with trust issues) out there who want their men to be their own person. I can't stand the husband and wife Facebook profiles. Like seriously? Nothing screams "I don't trust my significant other" louder than the combined Facebook profiles
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My hubby doesn't go out too much but when it's nice outside and he's feeling well he loves to ride his motorcycle. I don't mind at all when he goes out, we've had trust issues in the past but that's all over now and we've been together on and off for 15years so we know eachother extremely well. It's not a big deal to me, he doesn't drink (although he does smoke every now and then) I trust him and we're always checking in with eachother :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband tried to get me in the city. The only good I saw was I could walk to the grocery store lol. I love it. I don't even lock my door. I would definitely try to get out of the city. Open spaces are a great place to raise babies. And we have a mini dog rescue. Its really just us taking in every stray we see lol. Our Lola likes to jump in the pond after the ducks lol.
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
Ugh!! I would LOVE that land!!! Im a city girl but I know I  belong in ranch style home with a ton of land for my dogs to run wild and to open up my own dog rescue!! And of course not have to worry about pedophiles coming into my back yard to bother my kid! Or all of the riff raff runnin these streets making it difficult to walk down my street without worrying about nonsense. I'm totally jealous ; )
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband is from michigan so he was raised lake side but was never a fisher. I actually taught him how. I'm a southern girl. We're broke? Take your shot gun and your fishing pole and go get something. That's how my daddy raised us. Lol. Now he just sits out there with his friends and drinks red bull and hangs out. All day. From 11-9 lol.
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
I LOVE fishing.....and dating mostly men from like New York (not the country areas) it's really hard to get guys to do outdoorsy stuff like that, hiking and camping : / SO happy Im having a little boy that I can do all that stuff with : )
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am very proud of him and it has really strengthened every relationship in our lives. Our son finally knows who his father is instead of knowing the guy who is too busy getting messed up to acknowledge him. He has become the husband he always promised he would be.
Helpful - 0
4981292 tn?1381256805
My boyfriend loves fishing. He keeps trying to get me out fishing lol .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I usually get my alone time when he goes fishing in our pond about an acre out. I can keep an eye on him without having to speak to him lol
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
@RoopStetter.....I see where your coming from. But that both you and him working to overcome an evil that he took his time to work on so you and him can function in a healthy way. I think that's awesome that he wanted to make things right!!! THIS is an exception...and actual reason to stay close at all times to continue to work on things.
Helpful - 0
4981292 tn?1381256805
I'm happy that your husband got help. :) I totally understand why you would worry.
Helpful - 0
4981292 tn?1381256805
Yeah. I agree with all you ladies . I love my alone time. he always ask me if its okay if he goes out. And he has always told me that if I didn't want him to hang out with them, he would stop and it wouldn't bother him.
Which also shows me that I'm.more important so I know he won't do anything wrong.
I know his cell password but I.never once went on it to snoop. I have no reason to. :)
also if he is at his friend house (who is single,so girls do show up) & a girl shows up he tells me and says he leave as soo. As.he finish his beer or whatever he may be doing. And.i.never once told he has to leave.if a girl shows up. That is under his own will :)  I have very strong trust In him.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have a hard time letting my husband go out not because I think he will cheat or w.e. but he just celebrated his 7 months of sobriety. He tried to beat me senseless when he was drunk and messed up on drugs and my husband easily gives into peer pressure. He hasn't made any sober friends. Most of his friends.are very respectful of his sobriety but a few are not. So those are the ones I worry about. I'm afraid for him to hang out at the bar for OBVIOUS reasons lol. Luckily he is usually the one that says he doesn't want to go out because he doesn't trust himself yet.
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
I agree with Waywey.....not all men respect the relationship, and that makes a lot of ladies question things. I do know some people that are more happy and content when together all of the time, but I have never been that way. I HAVE to be alone at least two hours : ) Even if that meant him going to the basement to play COD while I read or work with my dogs.
Helpful - 0
5550067 tn?1375149180
No you're not the only one lol my boyfriend goes out with his friends at times and I don't have a problem with that. all i tell him is to be careful.. i trust him and he's always there for me, very supportive... Gotta let them breathe lol but some girls have reasons to get mad, some guys don't respect their relationships and easily influenced by others...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your not the only one. I love what me and my hubby have. He goes out every night he doesnt drink but he will go for a bike ride or what he wants i dont really ask. I would probably kill him if we didnt get that time apart. We dont touch each others phones we know none of each others passwords. Yes i get a little cerious some times but then remember i have privacy also.
I love the trust we have.
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
I personally think its fine that both people have their own time. As long as ur not s***ting on your other half when there are prior plans or obligations that end up broken. Hell, when my sons father was living with me, I pretty much MADE him go out, anywhere, didn't care. Never worried about cheating. It was like complete opposite , I would be running around to the stores and I would get the calls "where are you?? When are you coming home????" LoL.....I think its very healthy for couples to have "our" time and then their "own" time.  But, to each is own. Not everyone is that comfortable.
Helpful - 0
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