Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
12476392 tn?1433685731

delivery room question

Please no negative comments
Me and the father are not together in only 23 weeks along but when time comes for baby to join us in the world, if his father wants to be in the labor and delivery room when he's coming, since he's the father is it like his right to be in there? I'm asking because I'm not sure how I'll feel but what if I don't feel comfortable with him being there since we're not together and he's committed himself to someone else?
26 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
It is completely up to you! If it wasn't his choice not to help you, you said you felt it wasn't working. If it were my situation I would just ask him if he wants to be in the room or not. I don't think it would be wrong with him having another girlfriend because it's still his baby no matter what, if he wants to be there for it she should understand.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No if you say you Don't want him even at the hospital then they will ask him to leave. Your choice and the hospital will stand behind you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Don't let him or anyone else coerce you into something your not comfortable with. If you want to give him the chance to be there in the beginning and see how it goes then that's up to you. You can make it clear once you get to a certain point you want him to leave and he can come back after the baby is born.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm in the same situation as you. Not with the father of my child. Technically we were never together. He wants to be there and I'm letting him out of the consideration that we use to be friends. But I've already warned him if he makes it at all more difficult for me or if I am at all uncomfortable or self concious of him being there then I have the right to kick him out.

My mom is going to be there too so that's really the only reason why I'm letting him. But it's completely your choice. If you don't want him there it is your right to now have him there. It's your body and during that time it's about you. Called labor for a reason. Wasn't meant to be easy and you have to do what you are comfortable with
Helpful - 0
11356079 tn?1421357818
It's considered a medical procedure. He has no right to be there unless he is invited. You can tell your nurse to have anyone you want to leave.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
And as long as You and him want to be in that room together, nothing his girlfriend says should matter. It is not her kid. If she wants to be with him she knows very well your having his baby she's going to have to put her big girl panties on and suck it up. If she's uncomfortable with him being there that's her own problem not yours.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think if he wants to be there to see his child born let him, especially if he is going to be in the baby's life raising him. I never understood why people would deny a father the right to witness his baby be born, yes there are certain situations i feel that a dad shouldn't be there. Like if he is abusive or non supportive throughout the pregnancy or he doesnt plan in being in the child's life. But if a dad wants to step up and do what's right let him. Some people are very bitter and deny a father the right to see his baby be born out of selfishness just because he is with another woman. That's Ridiculous to me. The baby is only born once that is a special moment and if he loves his kid it would be sad for him never having the chance to see it come into this world. But that's just my opinion. Good luck i hope you guys figure it out.
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
I'm sorry I don't want this to be like a drama question I'm just not sure what's right and what's wrong in this situation
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
What if I decide for him to stay in there because he says he wants to, would that be wrong for me because of the girlfriend?  I kind of feel like it's unfair to me but yet unfair to him if it's don't let him be a part of baby coming into the world
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No delivery room... After the delivery is over then i say yea
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
I'm sorry your going through this
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
It kind of feels good to know I'm not alone as bad as that sounds :/ he doesn't ever check on me either.  So who knows if he'll even be in baby's life when he's here even though he says he will
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm in the same boat, but I'm 33 weeks along so I don't have alot of time left to decide but my mom tells me not to let him in but there's a part of me that says let him . But he can't even show up to appointments anymore or check up on me , but if you don't feel comfortable with him in there don't let him last thing you want to do is stress out
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
Yea I'm not sure what happened.im not sure what she has to offer that I couldn't to make him want to be with her and not me I've just been praying about that. When I found out I asked him if he was still going to be there when baby Came and he said yes that that wasn't going to change. I haven't asked about the delivery room yet specifically, I thought it was to early. I kind of just wanted to prepare myself because anything could happen
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Do you know how he feels about it? What if he would be uncomfortable being there since you guys aren't together anymore. This is a really intimate moment, like being there for your labor seems unnecessary. But he might want to meet the baby on your last day at the hospital or something.
I can't imagine dating someone new so soon after getting a girl pregnant so its an awkward situation for all involved. Has he expressed interest in being there for his baby?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If I were you I'd make it so he wasn't there while your giving birth but could come an hour after you did. That way you don't get stressed out during labor while he's there and you getting bonding time with your little one(:
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
Idk I feel like he doesn't need to be with me to be involved with baby and in volts not his fault he didn't feel it working with me but that God sent someone along that he felt did:/ idk I have mixed feelings and I see where your coming from but idk:/
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I wouldn't have him at the hospital  or delivery room with me.   If he committed himself to another females then that's where he needs to be with is her the night of your delivery . If he wasn't with you during pregnancy to help out then he doesn't need to be with you In labor . I'm a pretty straight forward person who isn't going to beat around the bush with you.
Helpful - 0
12476392 tn?1433685731
I think I will talk to her about it. I don't want him to feel like I'm keeping him from something that involves baby. Maybe he won't even be there. I felt like invite was to early to ask if he'd want to be in there but maybe invite should ask? I'm thinking way ahead i know, thank you for all the advice and support :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its your delivery and you need to do whats right for you. You can always let him in early on and see how you go. You never know he may be an amazing support for you and if not you can ask you'r midwife to get him to leave.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Zietonna ^ iagree!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If this was my situation I wouldn't want him there Ya maybe he is the father but he isn't there for you. You say he is in a relationship well to be honest and im saying this if it was my situation I would tell him to F off. That delivery room is not for him. Yes you have time but if it was me he wouldn't be allowed to be there. Good luck and I wish you the best.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can understand him wanting to come to the hospital to meet his baby BUT the delivery room is your personal bubble. See how it goes over the next few weeks but it's your choice
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think whatever you choice is ok. you never kniw maybe this baby change his way of thinking as well as yours. but for now relax you still have time.
Helpful - 0
2
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community

Top Pregnancy Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.