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Avatar universal

desperate for advice

Hi I'm 20 years old and pregnant for the 1st time. I always thought wen I start a family it'd b a happy time from pregnancy to birth and so forth. But Thts not the case. I'm newly single going on 9 weeks pregnant and I'm dealing w it all on my own. I dnt wanna ruin my life or this baby's life. A lot of ppl r urging me to abortion but its so hard. I guess I'm asking has any1 been thru this and had the baby? How did things turn out for u and the baby? Im curious about everything so all advice helps! - very worried.
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Avatar universal
I'm 20 years old, pregnant with twins . It was a surprise pregnancy as well as surprise twins! My fiance and I are definitely struggling financially and  both going to school full time. We want these babies so much and are willing to do anything we can to give them a good life.
Luckily I am not single, though our relationship is a rocky one, the love of our daughters has kept us strong. You can do this with or without a man, I PROMISE. It takes hard work but you will never regret you kept your child. There are tons of resources for single moms that would be available to you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well I'm going to try not to be biased here. Ultimately it is up to you. If YOU want an abortion, you have that choice, and there is no shame in that. However if that's not what YOU truly want, then don't do it! Dont decide one way or the other just because people are trying to sway your decision. You need to do what YOU feel is right, what you want deep down and what you know you can live with. But if you do want to keep the baby, know that it will be harder without the father but definitely not impossible. Good luck hun, I hope it all works out for you.
Helpful - 0
3419238 tn?1353081771
I was 14 when I got pregnant with my first and baby daddy left when I was 2 months pregnant. Then at 5 months we got back together and have been ever since now our son is 6 yrs old and in 21 yrs old and 29+1 with baby number 2. But thing is you don't need a man to help you but it would be nice for him to be there for the child...good luck
Helpful - 0
4281488 tn?1353905580
I was 17 when I had my first. Who is now 13. I did marry his father also when I was 17 however divorced before my son was 1. The man may as well never been there. Because he wasn't there for me all all during my pregnancy. I was pushed to get an abortion too, by everyone, but it's against my beliefs 100%. I was no where near ready for a baby at 17. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I did it on my own (his sperm donor hasn't been in the picture since he was 1). Yes it is daaamn hard. But so rewarding and worth it. When I was 21 I had son#2. His father was mentally abusive and a control freak. When I finally felt strong enough to leave I did. Divorce #2.....again I did it on my own, I swore off relationships AND men. Cuz obviously I wasn't a good judge after 2 failed marriages and I was only 25. So I busted my butt and did the work of a mom and a dad all over again. Then somehow me and my best friend fell in love. We have been together 3.5 years and to this second he is my very best friend. We were married a year and a half ago, had a beautiful lIttle boy who is 18 months old and we are due in May with #4. My boys and I finally have a man we can depend on and loves us the way we should have been loves from the start. Where I'm going with this is BE STRONG you CAN do this on your own. You don't need a man by your side to give your child a wonderful life. Also dont settle for just any guy like I did. Wanting a father figure for my so. I made wrong choices. Be strong and be your precious baby's rock. If you chose abortion. Yes you won't have the stresses of a baby anymore, but you will forever have an empty void and a wondering of what if, my baby would be X old today, etc....I've had many friends go thru it. It was the biggest mistake if their lives. And one that can't be taken back. Having another later doesn't replace the one that died. Just food for thought. I'm praying for you. Inbox me anytime if you would like.
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Avatar universal
If you need to talk to someone you can pm me anytime.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ultimately the choice is yours. I got pregnant at 17, a high-school senior and gave birth at 18...3 months after graduation. Noone ever pressured me to have an abortion and I was prepared to make sacrifices to take care of him. Don't get me wrong, it was tough, but we were OK. I did finish college and get my B.A., and my boy is now 15. It's tough but don't base your decision off of anyone but yourself. I had no support from anyone and cut all relatives off. Being legally an adult when he was born was my saving grace.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm 20 as well and 14weeks pregnant with my baby. My boyfriend and I are still together and strongly considered abortion...I got there and couldn't go through with it. You will be ok God doesn't put anything on us we aren't strong enough to handle. Prayers going your way! Good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm.23 and 29 weeks pregnant . I am a ftm but I am also doing this alone and single no father involved and I know my son will be loved regardless I hope u think about it.because if u are having regrets I don't think u should do it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was 17 with my first. He's 11 now. Baby daddy left soon after he was born. I threw myself at school to keep busy and make sure my son had all he ever needed. Then I meant an amazing man and we got married when I was 21. I'm now 30 and have a 6 yr old as well and preggo with baby number 3. My mom told me when I was 17 to hit my knees and pray for a miscarriage.... If it wasn't for my 11 yr old I don't think I would own my house and have a car paid off and be preggo w number 3 or be married. He saved my life. I was a lot younger than u and finished highschool preggo. Then college then marriage. Home owner ect. If u have doubts don't do it!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Im also twenty...first pregnancy
And parents are pushing abortion down my throat because they want me to finish school and saying im still to young and have my whole life ahead of me. Im in the same situation you are... My problem is that I want the baby sooo bad and my boyfriend (lets add another jagger into this....he's in jail for the next couple months) is telling me he is going to be there and help, but then hearing my parents talk it makes me question what I want...
So if you have some kind of breakthrough or magically get to see the future and what would be the best decision...please let me know...I need it too
Helpful - 0
4402502 tn?1355342665
I've never ben through what you are going through but I wanted to day something about abortion. I feel like every woman should have a right to make their own decision about that, I'm definitively pro choice, that being said, I completely regret the one I was pressured into. Make sure if you do it that it is really what you want and that you are willing to live with it forever. Think about adoption as an option and make sure you are really okay with what ever decision you make. Good luck sweetie, if you have any questions feel free to message me.
Helpful - 0
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