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1996005 tn?1343871411

for those who've went thru labor...

I have 15 more Weeks to go and as each week passes it looks more and more like the daddy just isn't going to be in the babies life. Last time him and I talked he didn't want his name on the birth certificate bc DES will get his money, which wouldn't even happen but that told me he doesn't want her. Its just been an on and off situation and I just keep getting hurt. I was posting  this BC the only person I ever imagined in the room with me was him. I have no one else. I'm a very private person so even having a family member in there would make me feel so uncomfortable.  Do you think I can do this on my own? I would like to hope I'm strong enough... I'm so worried and so scared and its mostly bc of that reason. Is that even aloud?
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Avatar universal
I was a very private person, and never imagined any one but oldest daughters
dad in the room with my first but he froze up seeing me in pain and left the room 2hrs in to  my 20hr labor but his sister in law was in the waiting room and twords the end i just wanted someone there and she was amazing! i would say if i had to i could have done it myself but its nice to have someone there especially when drs are looking at baby and u just want someone there to let u kno everythings ok. So maybe have a close friend/family in the waiting room just incase u change ur mind.
Helpful - 0
2180285 tn?1377866731
you can do it
Helpful - 0
1996005 tn?1343871411
Thank you everyone :) you have given me more confidence in knowing I can do this by myself. Unfortunately my mom went want to be on there wave if I have I've sister all the rest are gonna want to be in there which I definitely don't want bc we're not close. I don't have really any best friends. I'm pretty much alone these days... Now I just gotta cross my fingers my nurses will be good to me. :) three more months!
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2180285 tn?1377866731
for sure it is the best experience plus it is nice to have someone there to witness the event as it will only happen once with each child and i find it emotional and wonderful all at the same time. i hope to get the chance to do it one more time.
Helpful - 0
2095738 tn?1339825243
I've had at least my mom in by my shoulders for both births and asked her to be a part of this. She had to leave after my 2nd was born and I was in the same situation as you at the time. No one even came to visit at the hospital and only one person called. It had me so down that no one was there after, even focusing on my baby, but I was so grateful for someone to have been by my side while pushing. We weren't even on good terms at the time, but that brought us a little closer. If you really don't want anyone there by your side, you can do it alone, but I recommend having someone in the waiting room quietly cheering you on and having them come to the recovery room after.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was the same way I didn't even want my daughters father in the room so I told everyone to get but when time came I made nurse go get the father my mom grand mother and aunt and was so glad I had family there to chant me on cause the nurses just stood there pushing on my belly and Dr just kept saying push don't push I think I would have been lost with out my family in there. By the time she came out you would have thought we were having a party in there they got loud clapping crying laughing and calling out the time of birth. Every one is different and you will never know until you are there in that moment.
Helpful - 0
362249 tn?1441315018
I am in the EXACT same situation the father put me through hell and back for the last 8 months and i was scared half to death to go through labor alone but i allowed 2 of my cousins in the room with me! and every1 is right you wont even think about it when its time you ll just go in that zone! they told me to push and i couldnt think of nothing but ok my son is gonna be here in a few mins! and once you see your baby nothing in the world will matter but having that baby in your arms! My baby is week old 2morrow and he was worth every ounce of pain i have gone through! Be strong you can do it!!
Helpful - 0
2117757 tn?1335965278
You can do it alone if you really want to. My mom did it, she just had someone there to take pictures & nothing else. I'm not sure if I'm going to go it alone either because my partner might be gone on harvest & we don't know if he'll be back in time. I am also a very private person & I really don't want any else in the room with me. I hope everything works out but don't get upset if it doesn't, you'll have a wonderful gift soon to take your mind off of everything. If you need someone to vent to or talk to, everyone here is more than helpful & supportive.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I personally couldn't imagine doing it alone, my contractions were terrible and if I didn't have my hubby or my best friend, I would have probably killed someone. But when I got my epidural, I made my best friend and mother in law (long story) leave. But, I'm sure everyone is different and you may be perfectly fine alone! The nurse will help you thru it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You can def doo it on your own! My best friend was in  the same situation amd did it onn her own amd she said she couldnt imagine it any other way!
Helpful - 0
2180285 tn?1377866731
for sure my mom loved seeing her grandchildren born and i never regretted her in there in fact at that time you never even think about it.
Helpful - 0
2020005 tn?1628125976
I agree that I felt so much better knowing someone was there with me. My mom went in with me (I'm also very private, thought I'd hate it, and was sooo grateful she was there)  When you're in pain, the last thing you think about is someone looking at you, and personally, I'd feel more comfortable with my mother than a deadbeat father. In the end, it's up to you, you CAN do it alone if you want to, just think it all the way through so you don't regret it during labor, and it would probably mean the world to someone close to you to get to experience that with you!
Helpful - 0
2180285 tn?1377866731
you could do it alone but i would seriously tell you i have had 2 live children and one still born and you dont want to do it alone.  it is tough and you should share it with. i suggest your mom or someone that you would be most comfortable with i had my mom with me for both of my daughters births and i wouldnt have changed that for anything cause with my first birth i ended up needing her and am so glad she was there it helped alot.
i mean dont get me wrong you could do it alone if you are ok with the nurses helping but they dont do much.
hope that helps
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Absolutely! Just think about that sweet baby girl and be strong for her, you can do it. Plus what I hear is with the adrenaline your mind won't be focused on anything other than the safe delivery of that beautiful gift of God.
Helpful - 0
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