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8442729 tn?1408507211

not sure what to think

So im 21 with my first im not married or engaged but I am with my boyfriend.. well his mom wants us to get get married before I have our son in January.but me and my boyfriend have both said we didnt want to get married till after he was born.but all she keeps saying is how we need to get married.I understand that people have there ways of thinking and I respect that but why must they try and push me into what they want just like my baby shower its not even what I really want but Im the person that is nice and just let it go but this marriage thing is getting to be al little much not saying I dont want to get married to my boyfriend bc I do but I want to do it when we are ready and when we want to not what other people want. So we were talking to day me and my boyfriend and I told him my aunt would most likely not come to my baby shower bc shes a strong Catholic and dont believe in sex before marriage and he asked me if I wanted to get married before the baby shower I mean I was flattered but at the same time I dont want him to ask me bc of my family or his family I just dont understand why it has to be so difficult for mine and his family to get that we want to get married when we want to and thats after my son is here. I know its a long one and im sorry just want to know what you ladys think  
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Avatar universal
Definitely dont get married until your both ready. This religious consultant told me the same thing. She said "Dont you want your child to grow up in a loving family?" I told her that it didnt matter whether we were married or not. My child is going to see mommy and daddy, and mommy and daddy love each other and me. Never went back to that consultant. I know personally I am nowhere near ready to get married, im not ready to be a mother either but i dont believe anyone is. A friend of mine got married young because her mother pushed it on her. Well a year later they had a baby and now they are divorced. Dont let your family or friends tell you what to do, you only know whats right for yourself
Helpful - 0
8856671 tn?1404143983
Don't get pressured into getting married when you aren't ready to. Yes you want to marry him in the future but if you all were too just to please people then it could possibly cause problems within you all relationship because you jumped into something you weren't ready for. I have a cousin who was pushed into marriage and now she going through a divorce. Do what makes you happy for now and that you and your boyfriend plans. :)

(My family keeps asking me when is me and my boyfriend getting married. It gets frustrating like let me make that decision and let us be ready for that step)
Helpful - 0
8442729 tn?1408507211
Thats exactly what I dont want to get married yet I just want to focus on my baby I dont want the added stress of a wedding.I have enough stress at work. She had made a comment once before that she thinks we should get married for a healthy family for the baby..me and my boyfriend are very close and very happy and more then capable on raising our son together or if it does happen separated we agreed when we first found out that no matter what happens we will always keep a good relationship with each other even if we break up either of us are the kind of people to fight and hold grudges we just wants best for our son and as hes said he wants our son at our wedding he thinks that I would be awesome lol
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Are not pressuring us* typo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand where u r coming from. I love my boyfriend to death and want to karry him someday. But not now just bcuz we r having a baby together. Dont let anyone pressure u into doing something especially when it comes to life choices. Try talking to ur bf first and then his family about how u feel. If it still doesnt work then just keep ur head strong. I thank God my fam or his is pressuring us to get married and i can imagine how hard it is for u. Dont give in so there wont be any regrets. All u should be focusing on right now is ur little one. I believe couples shouldnt have to get married bcuz a baby is on the way. If u and ur bf love eachother i am sure that baby will be loved no matter wut. U get married when u feel is rightm afterall it is ur day.
Helpful - 0
8442729 tn?1408507211
I just turned 19 weeks yesterday found out for sure that im having a boy :)
Helpful - 0
8442729 tn?1408507211
I have been with mine for a year. Love his family but im not going to get married to make them happy.

We have talked about it and have agreed that we wanted to wait till we wanted to but I have a feeling someone ( his mom) said something to him today other then me and he gives in bc he hates being nagged at. Just wish they would lay off I have enough going on for now I dont want to add a wedding into that
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm 19 & my boyfriend is 21 his family dies the same thing as trying to push us to get married but we dint not want to yet. I believe you should do it when your ready not just because your having a baby. I'm also due in Jan so I know how you feel
Helpful - 0
7732297 tn?1397446837
Talk with your bf, let him know how your feeling and ask him how he is feeling about the situation. U want to make sure your both on the same page:)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My bfs mom and his mom does the same thing .... It annoys me to no end . We been together for 4 years and 5 1/2 months . We have 2 kids together . Ppl thing that just cause we have kids , we needa get married . No , that's not the reason we wanna get married for . We will get married on our time when we want to . Best of luck tho(:
Helpful - 0
8442729 tn?1408507211
My parents didnt get married till I was 2. They dont want to rush its just with him asking to day was like him getting pressured into and I dont want that.
Helpful - 0
8442729 tn?1408507211
Thats what I want to do but I feel like there pressuring him into it like im going to take off with the baby or something his mom made a remake the other day that his aunt could marry us and I kinda took it as a joke and shrugged it off but I know for a fact she was hinting to us. I dont even want to go over there as much bc I dont want to get asked about it
Helpful - 0
7732297 tn?1397446837
Dont do it until you are ready. Marriage is not something you just rush into, let your family know that.  Just continue to hold your ground once you and your boyfriend are ready then go for it:)
Helpful - 0
9634886 tn?1405819605
if and when yall want to get married go for it. dont do it just because or your family or his family do it when yall want too and when yall are ready. if you both want to get married now then that is yalls decision. but if not then just wait it out til yall are ready.
Helpful - 0
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